ok interesting about the nature vs nature argument.
Experiencing something similar right now, certain things seem to straighten out as I get older.
My parents were kind of strickt about certain things when I was a child.
Also, on your parents trying to socialize you, my parents did similar things.
They would drop me off at peoples houses and shit.
Yeah. For me, it was similar. Lots of summer camps and social activities and things like that. Which I had absolutely no desire to take part in. But my parents were ultra normies and so they believed strongly in that stuff.
It's strange thinking back on it now because I remember not really having any close friends at those things but also not feeling bored or lonely. As an adult, that sounds like hell. But as a kid I didn't know any better than to put up with it; I was just doing what my parents ordered me to do and it seemed perfectly reasonable.
Yes, I dont remember people at all as a whole.
One time this new foid student got introduced to our class after a year.
So they made us form a circle and throw a ball around. When you caught it you had to say whow the person throwing it was and what she was like.
It was so fucking embarrasing holy fuck.
I didnt know anybody lol.
After a year.
Lmao. Yeah, those sorts of things are pure suifuel for autists. I had to fake so hard at all of that stuff growing up. I was pretty good at faking it, but it wasn't pleasant.
The validation thing was an issue in school. My parents tried the usual reward-punishment approach but I would respond to neither. Punishment just made me more withdrawn and didnt increase the level of effort I put into my work and rewards or praise doesnt work on me.
Idk, it is just meaningless.
Yeah, I always ended up playing video games by myself instead of doing the things my parents considered to be valuable. I would procrastinate schoolwork until the very last second, often choosing to skip assignments altogether.
Do you have anything that stands out? what is your most obivous trait?
Oh yeah, lots of stuff.
I think the most obvious trait for me though is that, throughout my life, I've come across to people as like, an actual retard when meeting them for the first time. Lol.
Now, by almost any objective measure, I'd test very highly for all correlates of intelligence, but they don't know that of course since they're just meeting me and the one correlate they care about--basic NT social skills and quick-wittedness--I've always tended to be very rusty and out of practice on since I always avoided socializing as much as I could.
And it would always take me a few moments to gather my bearings and get back in "normie social mode" where I'm talking smoothly and filling the empty space with small talk, cracking normie jokes, and making the acceptable facial expressions and whatnot.
If the interaction didn't last more than a few moments though, it would sometimes end in a way such that I could tell that they were thinking, "Wow, that guy's a literal retard".
Which is funny. It's happened since as early as I can remember. As a very young child, I even had a teacher that told my parents she thought I had a learning disability, and then later in the school year, the same teacher said I should be in the school's gifted program (dumb whore).