r/incelexit
Title: My roommate is covered in blood, pus, mucus, diarrhea, urine, poop, earwax, and saliva—and still dates models. Just be more confident.
I’m tired of seeing guys complain online about how they can’t get a girlfriend because of their hairline or height, when my roommate—who is literally marinating in blood, mucus, pus, diarrhea, urine, poop, earwax, and saliva—dates models.
Every morning, I wake up to the sound of him coughing thick mucus and blood into a sink already overflowing with pus, saliva, and streaks of diarrhea. His face? A collapsing mess of bloody cysts, mucus-filled boils, and earwax leaking out of every hole. His eyeballs are swollen, yellow, pulsing with pus and urine-colored veins, twitching above lips that are cracked, bleeding, and glistening with dried poop and sticky saliva.
His teeth? They’re black, barely hanging on by threads of bloody gum pus, coated in layers of hardened earwax and crusted diarrhea, and he’s always licking them with a tongue dripping saliva and blood. His nose is gone, just an oozing hole clogged with mucus, poop, and infected urine-slicked tissue that whistles when he breathes.
His skin peels off in sheets, revealing pools of pus bubbling in diarrhea-colored craters, while flies lay eggs in the bloody, saliva-soaked folds of his neck. Every step he takes leaves a trail of urine and poop, and his clothes are soaked in earwax, blood, mucus, and old sweat-stained pus.
And still, every night? A new model.
Girls with perfect skin, flawless smiles, and shiny hair, dodging puddles of urine, sticky mucus, and what can only be described as hot poop-pus soup just to kiss him. I watched one sit on his lap while blood leaked from a wound on his thigh directly into her purse. She didn’t care. He whispered, “You’re glowing,” while spitting bloody saliva into a napkin soaked in earwax and diarrhea.
Why? Because he’s confident.
This man is a human septic tank. His body is held together by layers of poop, blood, mucus, earwax, vomit, pus, and raw diarrhea, and he sweats urine. Every time he mops, it just spreads the cocktail of body fluids into the walls, the halls, the air. He sneezes chunks of earwax and bloody mucus, coughs up saliva soaked in pus, and wheezes like a poop-soaked accordion filled with diarrhea gas and wet farts.
He once slipped on his own stream of bloody diarrhea, landed in a puddle of earwax and vomit, and didn’t even notice. He got up, wiped his hands on his shirt already covered in blood, poop, and spit, and kept pushing the mop—which was visibly dripping urine and mucus.
So yeah. If my roommate—a man drenched in blood, mucus, pus, diarrhea, poop, earwax, urine, and saliva from head to toe—can date models just by being confident, you have no excuse.
Be more confident.
