how are you guys coping with inceldom currently?
does anyone have any good tips and advice? long term inkwells have any experience they want to bestow?
here's where i'm at, I've been experiencing what I think is my worst year of inceldom. I turned 22 in january, don't think i'll ever be the same after swallowing the full blackpill.
When I let go of all the copes and looksmaxxing shit and realized how powerless I am, I was like what the fuck. I can't be chad. and I've seen too much and know too much to be a normie.
I can't live a life where i'm winning, and I can't live a life where I don't know i'm losing. I am forever checked into a room at the incel hell hotel.
I mean I don't feel angry about it anymore, Everywhere I go I either see chad getting worshipped, and now my reaction is "makes sense, he was born at the top." It still hurts a little knowing that can't be me. but whatever.
The rest of what I see is normie shit. I see college kids, highschoolers, grown adults, old people, men of different stages of life all doing the same thing. Taking their uninterested prostitutes to dates, getting on one knee for them, having kids with them and trying to do everything to negotiate desire, and failing. When I see this it makes me chuckle because they're so retarded I don't know how they go through that process without realizing their marriage is a fucking sham, and if their wife actually "loved" them they wouldn't have a calendar of when their wife will let them fuck. No ability to think abstractly and understand that they're on a leash by their wife in the big picture. Now I just laugh at it all and it's become another boring fact of life that I don't often think about.
There is one issue that remains, which is causing this to be my worst year of inceldom. Despite knowing the truth, knowing that I could never have genuine desire, despite being on nofap and killing my sex drive for the better of 3 months, despite figuring out exactly what I enjoy doing each day, despite minimizing most of my suffering and living a life I would say is 70% optimized and suffering free.
I still feel a crushing wave of depression every now and then. Genuine sadness. and it's because of my fucking biology. my body. My body still wants fucking intimacy and a sexual relationship. My brain and phisiology gets held hostage at random moments because the genetic code wants to reproduce, because some reptile part of my brian says it wants oxytocin serotonin and dopamine from holding hands and having a beautiful caring girl show burning desire for me. You know what i'm referring to right? I'll be listening to music, genuinely enjoying myself, and a sad song comes on and I accidentally imagine going and marrying some dream girl and having a "perfect life". or I'll see a genuine relationship, a chad getting the best treatment i've ever seen, then wonder what it would be like to receive genuine desire from someone like that. To be appreciated, accepted, etc. Or maybe i'll hear a story about how a chad had a girl genuinely worship him and beg to live with him and let him treat her like a fleshlight because she loved him (real account i heard from some chad) and then get dumped because the chad got bored. it's like I'm starving for fucking food and I'm watching chads say "i'm tired of eating that shit sucks" and "food isn't all there is to life bro". etc.
it fucking hurts. I want it to stop. I want it to go away. it plagues me. how do I deal with this? I can keep it contained, when these moments come they go just as quickly and I go back to enjoying my life. but fuck me when it's happening I genuinely feel like a depressed bitch for like 10-12 seconds. I wish I could receive genuine desire from a woman so badly some times.
does anyone have any good tips and advice? long term inkwells have any experience they want to bestow?
here's where i'm at, I've been experiencing what I think is my worst year of inceldom. I turned 22 in january, don't think i'll ever be the same after swallowing the full blackpill.
When I let go of all the copes and looksmaxxing shit and realized how powerless I am, I was like what the fuck. I can't be chad. and I've seen too much and know too much to be a normie.
I can't live a life where i'm winning, and I can't live a life where I don't know i'm losing. I am forever checked into a room at the incel hell hotel.
I mean I don't feel angry about it anymore, Everywhere I go I either see chad getting worshipped, and now my reaction is "makes sense, he was born at the top." It still hurts a little knowing that can't be me. but whatever.
The rest of what I see is normie shit. I see college kids, highschoolers, grown adults, old people, men of different stages of life all doing the same thing. Taking their uninterested prostitutes to dates, getting on one knee for them, having kids with them and trying to do everything to negotiate desire, and failing. When I see this it makes me chuckle because they're so retarded I don't know how they go through that process without realizing their marriage is a fucking sham, and if their wife actually "loved" them they wouldn't have a calendar of when their wife will let them fuck. No ability to think abstractly and understand that they're on a leash by their wife in the big picture. Now I just laugh at it all and it's become another boring fact of life that I don't often think about.
There is one issue that remains, which is causing this to be my worst year of inceldom. Despite knowing the truth, knowing that I could never have genuine desire, despite being on nofap and killing my sex drive for the better of 3 months, despite figuring out exactly what I enjoy doing each day, despite minimizing most of my suffering and living a life I would say is 70% optimized and suffering free.
I still feel a crushing wave of depression every now and then. Genuine sadness. and it's because of my fucking biology. my body. My body still wants fucking intimacy and a sexual relationship. My brain and phisiology gets held hostage at random moments because the genetic code wants to reproduce, because some reptile part of my brian says it wants oxytocin serotonin and dopamine from holding hands and having a beautiful caring girl show burning desire for me. You know what i'm referring to right? I'll be listening to music, genuinely enjoying myself, and a sad song comes on and I accidentally imagine going and marrying some dream girl and having a "perfect life". or I'll see a genuine relationship, a chad getting the best treatment i've ever seen, then wonder what it would be like to receive genuine desire from someone like that. To be appreciated, accepted, etc. Or maybe i'll hear a story about how a chad had a girl genuinely worship him and beg to live with him and let him treat her like a fleshlight because she loved him (real account i heard from some chad) and then get dumped because the chad got bored. it's like I'm starving for fucking food and I'm watching chads say "i'm tired of eating that shit sucks" and "food isn't all there is to life bro". etc.
it fucking hurts. I want it to stop. I want it to go away. it plagues me. how do I deal with this? I can keep it contained, when these moments come they go just as quickly and I go back to enjoying my life. but fuck me when it's happening I genuinely feel like a depressed bitch for like 10-12 seconds. I wish I could receive genuine desire from a woman so badly some times.
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