As an incel, if you've ever tried socially interacting with people, you've become accustomed to reading the room, wondering if this time around things will turn out alright and you'll be accepted in the group for once. And while reading people's eyes, gestures, and tones of voice, something inside whispers, "What if, in the end, you're just a burden?" I think this is a little discussed trait of incels: the deep fear of being a burden. It's a quiet feeling but constant, a kind of silent shame for simply existing.
Those who carry this fear almost never talk about it. But it shows in our every attempt to fit in. This trait usually starts early, when emotional pain was ignored or turned into a problem for others. Children who heard "stop crying" or "don't be dramatic" or were simply treated like they didn't matter by their parents grow up believing that their feelings are a burden and that they themselves are an inconvenience. This is because your parents, while perhaps not being fully conscious of the fact, intrinsically understand you aren't going to be popular, you're not worth the trouble, because you lack that one thing needed: good looks.
The adult who emerges from that environment is constantly afraid of being "useless." They feel guilty for asking for help. They feel bad for taking up space. They live trying to make up for the simple fact that they exist. This "unconscious guilt" is something born from a wound so deep that the ego shapes itself around it. In this case, the wound says: :You only have value if you don't get in the way. If you don't draw attention to yourself. If you don't show your face."
Living like this is like walking on glass, afraid to cause a disturbance or leave a trace that you were even there. Existing as if you need permission just to breathe.
This is why in the end we withdraw into our silent caves of video games, anime and other hobbies. Where we don't have to feel the pain of being an outcast. Of being a burden on others.
Society treats those without looks as a burden, a waste of resources. You might be the most talented person at some particular skill or in some field, but because you lacked looks, you were never given the resources to fully explore and develop that talent. You were thrown out like a piece of garbage.
If you think you're a burden, it's not because you necessarily are. It's because society has deemed that you are and has programmed you into accepting this.
Those who carry this fear almost never talk about it. But it shows in our every attempt to fit in. This trait usually starts early, when emotional pain was ignored or turned into a problem for others. Children who heard "stop crying" or "don't be dramatic" or were simply treated like they didn't matter by their parents grow up believing that their feelings are a burden and that they themselves are an inconvenience. This is because your parents, while perhaps not being fully conscious of the fact, intrinsically understand you aren't going to be popular, you're not worth the trouble, because you lack that one thing needed: good looks.
The adult who emerges from that environment is constantly afraid of being "useless." They feel guilty for asking for help. They feel bad for taking up space. They live trying to make up for the simple fact that they exist. This "unconscious guilt" is something born from a wound so deep that the ego shapes itself around it. In this case, the wound says: :You only have value if you don't get in the way. If you don't draw attention to yourself. If you don't show your face."
Living like this is like walking on glass, afraid to cause a disturbance or leave a trace that you were even there. Existing as if you need permission just to breathe.
This is why in the end we withdraw into our silent caves of video games, anime and other hobbies. Where we don't have to feel the pain of being an outcast. Of being a burden on others.
Society treats those without looks as a burden, a waste of resources. You might be the most talented person at some particular skill or in some field, but because you lacked looks, you were never given the resources to fully explore and develop that talent. You were thrown out like a piece of garbage.
If you think you're a burden, it's not because you necessarily are. It's because society has deemed that you are and has programmed you into accepting this.
