Incel trait: you are far from the zeitgeist and what's generally happening.

[Deleted member 7448]

Idk if it's cause I'm somewhere on the spectrum, or my loner avoidant personality, or the many years of rotting.

But it seems everything I do is somehow different from how everybody else does it. I guess this is exacerbated by the fact that I don't watch TV. I don't really browse the front page of some site or community. So I'm not in tune at all with what's popular, with what's happening. Normal people live in the present times, they interact socially and influence each other, they feel in tune with the present. But I just do everything in my own little idiosyncratic comfy niche, where I repeat the same comfy shit while lying in my bed all day long.

I just go do my own thing and go from niche shit to niche shit, like rewatching the entirety of Frasier for the 50th time all day long, while searching for a game but not playing anything, maybe installing one game then uninstalling it. And doing other repetitive mindless shit like watching Key and Peele skits on youtube for the 15th time, or just generally switching between youtube and some niche shit on reddit and 4chan and .co and the day is over. And I forget what I did cause it was all empty, meaningless repetitive bullshit.

And so I'm not really living life like normal people are, I just sort of exist in my own little bubble of absurdity and repetitiveness. Not in tune with the world, not even aware of what games people are playing, what movies they are watching nowadays, I just stagnate on repeating the same old patterns.

 

[Deleted member 4999]

Dear diary

 

[Deleted member 24876]

Dont bother with modern stuff tbh, most of the content today is for fags and foids.

 

[Deleted member 19236]

True incels have been living like that for centuries.

For example, do you think some deformed mentally ill guy in the middle ages would ever realize that people around him were going in a crusade? or that the pope excommunicated his king? the consequences of such things?

No, he just lived the moment, enduring the attacks of the normal people around him.

btw being ugly in public was a crime for a long time.

Ugly law - Wikipedia

en.m.wikipedia.org

ugly people were even more opressed than they are today.

 

[Lebensmüder]

Idk if it's cause I'm somewhere on the spectrum, or my loner avoidant personality, or the many years of rotting.

But it seems everything I do is somehow different from how everybody else does it. I guess this is exacerbated by the fact that I don't watch TV. I don't really browse the front page of some site or community. So I'm not in tune at all with what's popular, with what's happening. Normal people live in the present times, they interact socially and influence each other, they feel in tune with the present. But I just do everything in my own little idiosyncratic comfy niche, where I repeat the same comfy shit while lying in my bed all day long.

I feel it; I am completely removed from my other people and I don't know anything about current politics or sports, which is a problem because 99.9% of the conversations among people my age revolve around football. I cannot even do something with the "nerds", because I am far too shitty in computer games/programming and both activities are too much effort for me (jfl). I don't watch TV anymore (except occasional shark documentaries) and (generally speaking) I am out of touch with others. The normal social flow left me completely out.

I just go do my own thing and go from niche shit to niche shit, like rewatching the entirety of Frasier for the 50th time all day long, while searching for a game but not playing anything, maybe installing one game then uninstalling it. And doing other repetitive mindless shit like watching Key and Peele skits on youtube for the 15th time, or just generally switching between youtube and some niche shit on reddit and 4chan and .co and the day is over. And I forget what I did cause it was all empty, meaningless repetitive bullshit.

This. My memory also gets worse each passing day. A few years ago everything seemed so vivid, nowadays everything is grey, it's not even really black anymore, just grey, neither bad nor good, just nothing. Everything around me feels like nothing more than noise. The documentary or tutorial I watch becomes noise after a few minutes, the same thing with the lectures. I have to replay it to really know what's going on and lose the details within minutes, I don't even know what exactly I watched yesterday. Just that I watched something. I wanted to play WoW again and bought the new expansion, played it for a few days and then never opened it up again, this happens to an even higher degree with games that cost nothing. I install them and most of the time uninstall them minutes later.

I live in sensory deprivation, I want to feel something; I even look back at objectively speaking worse times (like my bullying in school) with a twisted form of nostalgia, because back then I really felt something, nothing good, but still something; I had a reason to live although it was nothing more than pure spite/hatred. Sometimes I reflect on enfuriating stuff to make myself angry, so that I can finally feel some passion again.

Today was especially bad for me: I tried to read >5 different books, I read the words but they weren't staying in my memory, after minutes I became bored and took a different book, but the same thing happened again, I tried to watch some programming tutorials, but after about ~1 hour I became bored and searched for new tutorials, because I thought that the stuff was too boring, so I clicked and clicked through different videos never staying there long enough to actually grasp it. The important email I had to write is still not written. I hate it all so fucking much, I try all things, but nothing seems to satisfy.

And so I'm not really living life like normal people are, I just sort of exist in my own little bubble of absurdity and repetitiveness. Not in tune with the world. Funny enough, getting a job will just make this worse, got I'll hate wasting 8 hours + commute a day.

Same.

 

[Deleted member 7448]

I feel it; I am completely removed from my other people and I don't know anything about current politics or sports, which is a problem because 99.9% of the conversations among people my age revolve around football. I cannot even do something with the "nerds", because I am far too shitty in computer games/programming and both activities are too much effort for me (jfl). I don't watch TV anymore (except occasional shark documentaries) and (generally speaking) I am out of touch with others. The normal social flow left me completely out.

This. My memory also gets worse each passing day. A few years ago everything seemed so vivid, nowadays everything is grey, it's not even really black anymore, just grey, neither bad nor good, just nothing. Everything around me feels like nothing more than noise. The documentary or tutorial I watch becomes noise after a few minutes, the same thing with the lectures. I have to replay it to really know what's going on and lose the details within minutes, I don't even know what exactly I watched yesterday. Just that I watched something. I wanted to play WoW again and bought the new expansion, played it for a few days and then never opened it up again, this happens to an even higher degree with games that cost nothing. I install them and most of the time uninstall them minutes later.

I live in sensory deprivation, I want to feel something; I even look back at objectively speaking worse times (like my bullying in school) with a twisted form of nostalgia, because back then I really felt something, nothing good, but still something; I had a reason to live although it was nothing more than pure spite/hatred. Sometimes I reflect on enfuriating stuff to make myself angry, so that I can finally feel some passion again.

Today was especially bad for me: I tried to read >5 different books, I read the words but they weren't staying in my memory, after minutes I became bored and took a different book, but the same thing happened again, I tried to watch some programming tutorials, but after about ~1 hour I became bored and searched for new tutorials, because I thought that the stuff was too boring, so I clicked and clicked through different videos never staying there long enough to actually grasp it. The important email I had to write is still not written. I hate it all so fucking much, I try all things, but nothing seems to satisfy.

Same.

Damn dude, really does feel like we're the same person sometimes. The thing with the games is spot on, I think I made like 50 posts on that situation. Sucks that you are feeling that way too. I find myself installing games and uninstalling in literally 5 minutes sometimes. Even if it lasts slightly longer, I still very, very rarely feel the motivation to go on till the end. Fuck WoW though, I wasted so much money on it, long story but fuck BfA, played for 3 days despite paying full price. Came back to it at the end of the xpac and I quit in 2 days. Garbage game, Legion wasn't any better but delusional fanboys lick Blizzard's ass just cause it was between BfA and WoD, 2 massive dumpster fires. Legion is exactly like BfA and exactly like Shadowlands. Luckily I didn't buy this time around since I knew it would be the same shit, MMOs are dead. I literally played all MMOs out on the market and they all suck.

Anyway, I agree on all points. There's just too many problems. Memory, attention span, motivation, depression etc... we could write a book and we'd still not finish naming the shit that's wrong with us and our brains. Life is hard.

 

[Lebensmüder]

Anyway, I agree on all points. There's just too many problems. Memory, attention span, motivation, depression etc... we could write a book and we'd still not finish naming the shit that's wrong with us and our brains. Life is hard.

This, man.

 

[Emba]

That's what bookmarks are for

 

[The Abyss]

Idk if it's cause I'm somewhere on the spectrum, or my loner avoidant personality, or the many years of rotting.

But it seems everything I do is somehow different from how everybody else does it. I guess this is exacerbated by the fact that I don't watch TV. I don't really browse the front page of some site or community. So I'm not in tune at all with what's popular, with what's happening. Normal people live in the present times, they interact socially and influence each other, they feel in tune with the present. But I just do everything in my own little idiosyncratic comfy niche, where I repeat the same comfy shit while lying in my bed all day long.

I just go do my own thing and go from niche shit to niche shit, like rewatching the entirety of Frasier for the 50th time all day long, while searching for a game but not playing anything, maybe installing one game then uninstalling it. And doing other repetitive mindless shit like watching Key and Peele skits on youtube for the 15th time, or just generally switching between youtube and some niche shit on reddit and 4chan and .co and the day is over. And I forget what I did cause it was all empty, meaningless repetitive bullshit.

And so I'm not really living life like normal people are, I just sort of exist in my own little bubble of absurdity and repetitiveness. Not in tune with the world, not even aware of what games people are playing, what movies they are watching nowadays, I just stagnate on repeating the same old patterns.

View: https://voca.ro/1bNaM8Q9We2p

 

[Lone-Star]

Dont bother with modern stuff tbh, most of the content today is for fags and foids.

 

[Deleted member 7448]

View: https://voca.ro/1bNaM8Q9We2p

Great point, well said. It's a snowball effect, also sort of a catch 22. I actually do hide everything about myself, and do sort of "lie" that I am a functional human being. Mostly just being polite and reserved, I don't divulge much about myself. Though it has been a while since I've actually had to talk to people, I guess I'll have to polish my lying skills when I'll be forced to get a job, gotta pretend I'm a functional human being.

 

[The Abyss]

Great point, well said. It's a snowball effect, also sort of a catch 22. I actually do hide everything about myself, and do sort of "lie" that I am a functional human being. Mostly just being polite and reserved, I don't divulge much about myself. Though it has been a while since I've actually had to talk to people, I guess I'll have to polish my lying skills when I'll be forced to get a job, gotta pretend I'm a functional human being.

Just be yourself bro'.

Yeah right.

 

[TheNEET]

I understand that, bro. You wrote a thread earlier about "cultural shock" and I know it way too much. I feel completely separate from my "native" culture. It is the most visible in my personal conlang.

I started developing it in the middle school because I was into Esperanto and Toki Pona at that time and wanted to try out creating languages myself. Of course it was mostly a mixture of Polish (my native language) and German, Esperanto, Toki Pona and English (the languages I was learning at the time), basically a shitty nooblang. Conlangers usually just make a language, document it and go along with their lives but I never stopped modifying it and it grew into a giant monstrosity of all the words, concepts and structures I found interesting. I don't use it all the time in my head but when I need a new concept, I'll usually "borrow" a word from there, because I just kept throwing words into it and the word formation rules make creating new concepts way too easy.

In some ways it's a blessing, because I can keep my values separate from the society and when I need a concept, I can just name it myself instead of looking for a "normie" term (which can have different connotations). In some ways it's a curse because obviously I've grown used to it and when I communicate with others, I can't use my conlang, so it becomes a struggle. Sometimes I'll misuse generic words and give them a too specific meaning because that's how the word was imported ino my conlang (similarly to how "sombrero" just means "hat" in Spanish, but in English it means a specific kind of hat usually), sometimes I'll assign a generic translation to a word in my conlang which will be misunderstood ("paradise studies" -- you can kinda expect what it means but you don't expect that term and it makes communication harder) or too generic (similarly to how shabat could be simply translated as Saturday but the cultural connotations of Shabbat in the Jewish culture are huge). Every time I try to communicate, I feel like a foreigner who has a perfect translation tool but the tool doesn't translate culture (obviously) so every few words I should give a "translator's note" but that's autistic. It feels like trying to translate Japanese to English which results in awkward translations if you're too literal (even if it's technically correct).

I'm not in touch at all with general politics and pop culture. My Little Pony comics are more relevant to me than movie stars, so I can't talk about these generic subjects with normies. In fact, my conlang has some obscure references to media I consume in the form of sayings, idioms and double-meanings of words, but it's also something I can't reference in a normal conversation. So often I'll end up just being very quiet, because there's nothing to talk about and no real way to talk about anything without spilling spaghetti. It doesn't help that people are generally scared of the kind of stuff that I read and they'll classify me as a weirdo even before I'll have a chance to get to the meat of my message, if I start by saying "recently I've read in a My Little Pony comic" or "in Talmud", people will just turn off, but what am I supposed to reference if that's what I like?

I've started with a conlang, but ended with a whole constructed civilization in my head with completely different base texts, value systems, philosophies etc. and I'm like a confused foreigner in my own country.

 

[Deleted member 7448]

I understand that, bro. You wrote a thread earlier about "cultural shock" and I know it way too much. I feel completely separate from my "native" culture. It is the most visible in my personal conlang.

I started developing it in the middle school because I was into Esperanto and Toki Pona at that time and wanted to try out creating languages myself. Of course it was mostly a mixture of Polish (my native language) and German, Esperanto, Toki Pona and English (the languages I was learning at the time), basically a shitty nooblang. Conlangers usually just make a language, document it and go along with their lives but I never stopped modifying it and it grew into a giant monstrosity of all the words, concepts and structures I found interesting. I don't use it all the time in my head but when I need a new concept, I'll usually "borrow" a word from there, because I just kept throwing words into it and the word formation rules make creating new concepts way too easy.

In some ways it's a blessing, because I can keep my values separate from the society and when I need a concept, I can just name it myself instead of looking for a "normie" term (which can have different connotations). In some ways it's a curse because obviously I've grown used to it and when I communicate with others, I can't use my conlang, so it becomes a struggle. Sometimes I'll misuse generic words and give them a too specific meaning because that's how the word was imported ino my conlang (similarly to how "sombrero" just means "hat" in Spanish, but in English it means a specific kind of hat usually), sometimes I'll assign a generic translation to a word in my conlang which will be misunderstood ("paradise studies" -- you can kinda expect what it means but you don't expect that term and it makes communication harder) or too generic (similarly to how shabat could be simply translated as Saturday but the cultural connotations of Shabbat in the Jewish culture are huge). Every time I try to communicate, I feel like a foreigner who has a perfect translation tool but the tool doesn't translate culture (obviously) so every few words I should give a "translator's note" but that's autistic. It feels like trying to translate Japanese to English which results in awkward translations if you're too literal (even if it's technically correct).

I'm not in touch at all with general politics and pop culture. My Little Pony comics are more relevant to me than movie stars, so I can't talk about these generic subjects with normies. In fact, my conlang has some obscure references to media I consume in the form of sayings, idioms and double-meanings of words, but it's also something I can't reference in a normal conversation. So often I'll end up just being very quiet, because there's nothing to talk about and no real way to talk about anything without spilling spaghetti. It doesn't help that people are generally scared of the kind of stuff that I read and they'll classify me as a weirdo even before I'll have a chance to get to the meat of my message, if I start by saying "recently I've read in a My Little Pony comic" or "in Talmud", people will just turn off, but what am I supposed to reference if that's what I like?

I've started with a conlang, but ended with a whole constructed civilization in my head with completely different base texts, value systems, philosophies etc. and I'm like a confused foreigner in my own country.

Wow, that is actually impressive. As a guy who is laziness incarnate in this realm, I really admire that, as unusual as it is. I find video games to be too much mental effort. Hell, watching new tv shows is too much mental effort, so I just rewatch the same sitcom for the 50th time. And yet you did all that. Really impressive mate.

 

[Jungle]

most of the content today is for fags and foids.

 

[TheNEET]

Wow, that is actually impressive. As a guy who is laziness incarnate in this realm, I really admire that, as unusual as it is. I find video games to be too much mental effort. Hell, watching new tv shows is too much mental effort, so I just rewatch the same sitcom for the 50th time. And yet you did all that. Really impressive mate.

I don't think I'm doing anything special: everyone has his philosophies and own language use, but I decided to go a step further and use different phonetic values etc. Pretty much nothing there is my original thought, there's hardly a single word that's not a borrowing, but everything has its own flavor which is unlike the original ideas or words.

I think it's a very schizoid thing: there's a clear divide between my internal world (expressed in my conlang) and the external world. I can't really understand a concept unless I "borrow" it into my value system and assign it a word in my conlang (sometimes a direct borrowing, sometimes retranslation), but usually I'll only borrow a very basic idea of the concept, devoid of complex connotations or cultural context. The concept/word in my conlang will grow independently and when I come across the original word/idea again, I'll often be surprised how different they are.

I don't experience the real world, I experience the proxy version created in my mind which is loosely based on the real world. I daydream about My Little Pony a lot, but the world I dream about is mostly my headcanon at this point and when I interact with the original show, I feel uneasy because it doesn't always follow my headcanon.

I think these feelings partially apply to everyone, but in my case the divide between the internal and the external is way more strong than it should be.

 

[itneverbegan]

@TheNEET
On the plus side you are now free to think for yourself without readymade phrases to do your thinking for you. One reason talking to normies is so tiresome is that they speak in prepackaged phrases, which makes the conversation go on rails to its conclusion from the start with no possibility of deviation. The words they use are always emotionally loaded so a neutral debate or discussion is impossible. You can never discuss the issue. Their talk is more signaling that they have the right opinions and feelings about an issue, than a search for truth.
Example: I am unique, you are eccentric, he is crazy. Same concept: a person who is different from others.

I find myself looking up old words in dictionaries to avoid using readymade phrases, or to find words without emotional connotations. Also one reason I'm interested in dead languages. But you have taken it one step further.

Post a dictionary of your language here. It could be useful.

 

[Sportbro]

Symptom of withdrawal, why would you care about what's currently happening if you aren't really taking part?

 

[Deleted member 7448]

Yeah, absolutely same here. I live on the Moon.

Also, I'm just as repetitive as you bro, just not precisely with TV.

Yeah I don't really do it as much with sitcoms either anymore, especially lately. But I am still very repetitive in behavior, basically browsing the same few sites and that's it.

 

[your personality]

Idk if it's cause I'm somewhere on the spectrum, or my loner avoidant personality, or the many years of rotting.

But it seems everything I do is somehow different from how everybody else does it. I guess this is exacerbated by the fact that I don't watch TV. I don't really browse the front page of some site or community. So I'm not in tune at all with what's popular, with what's happening.

I don't think so tbh
"If you don't read the newspaper, you're uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you're mis-informed." - Mark Twain

 

[incelerated]

True incels have been living like that for centuries.

For example, do you think some deformed mentally ill guy in the middle ages would ever realize that people around him were going in a crusade? or that the pope excommunicated his king? the consequences of such things?

High IQ.

 

[Deleted member 7448]

It's brutal. The few times I've gotten into my "hobbies" with other people they get weirded out because they basically just consist of replaying the same ~50 games from my childhood for the 8th time on most of them or 20th on some, rewatching the same movies over and over until I can quote the dialogue, same with music, reading about the Roman Empire and the same historical stuff for years. The list goes on. I'm a pretty dry uninteresting and frankly I get the sense unappealing person to be around, aside from my looks. But there's just no changing despite how much I may want to. I'm stuck in a rut the size of the Grand Canyon.

Damn, that is indeed brutal. I don't even know how to explain it to other people, like on this forum. People that don't experience this don't understand it, "why not just watch/do new stuff?". It doesn't work that way. It's not just an anxiety and depression thing, it's also about using energy, not making your mind do uncomfortable stuff like making it use energy to be exposed to new things, when those old things are so soothing and easy. I guess that also ties in with anxiety and depression.

In my case I don't replay games from childhood, but I keep searching for a game for hours every day. Literally every day I browse r/gamingsuggestions or make several posts that I then delete. Or browse steam tags looking for games, or I browse youtube. And yet I play almost nothing, I don't game almost at all. Because when I do install something every few days, I delete it in minutes.

And that's not all. The worse quirk is uninstalling stuff then reinstalling. I did that literally hundreds of times with some games. Some games that are a real bitch to install all over, like Minecraft with mods. I probably installed that several hundreds of times, cause I really feel at one moment that it's the perfect game for me and I'll play it for good this time. And then when I do play it, I lose interest in 5 minutes or even less the spark is gone, and I uninstall it in a few hours max, and then the next day I think that for sure this time I'll play it for good, I'll stick with it till the end. Then I uninstall it in a few hours at most again. Rinse and repeat. I did the same with several games, like League of Legends which wasted my entire summer, hundreds of time of reinstalling and uninstalling, but I eventually got my account deleted by Riot so that's gone for good, which is nice.

 

[Ika-Sama]

I definitely relate, I've stopped engrossing myself in normie culture since 2019, I had stopped trying to fit in. It had all started in 7th grade I wanted to become a normie so I could get a girlfriend and fit in. Before then I had always been socially retarded, I was bullied mercilessly in 5th grade and I wanted all of that to change. Fast forward to 2019, I realized It was futile, even though I had minor success It still overshadowed the fact that I had no girlfriend or even a kiss at the time. One thing I realized is that I would always end up being the jester of the group whenever I was friends with normies. My personality in real life is goofy and quirky, the more you get to know me the more these qualities start to appear (because I'm socially retarded).

Over time I started to remove myself from mainstream culture began to delve into niche interests, I would always be in my own world and not interested in the real world. By the time school started again I was redpilled about women and society and I would get into odds with people because of it. I remember sitting alone at lunch almost everyday because I introverted and didn't want to talk to anyone, sometimes I would imagine I was a Ronin (Rogue Ninja) traversing through foreign lands.

Due to LDARING so much that summer I began to suffer from the same symptoms you have. Back then my memories were more vivid and complex, the same thing could be said about my cognitive functions. Now, I feel like my brainpower is gradually diminishing and staying inside due to Covid doesn't help.

 

[Words2_live_bye]

Idk if it's cause I'm somewhere on the spectrum, or my loner avoidant personality, or the many years of rotting.

for me it is a mix of all

 

[TINMAN]

I spend over an hour in the shower every day, under the hot water, I like to let it run across my back so it feels like someone is hugging me

 

[Saigon Depression]

I spend over an hour in the shower every day, under the hot water, I like to let it run across my back so it feels like someone is hugging me

wow, that's....sad.

 

[GermaniaIncelia]

this thread is basedtopia