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Serious incel trait: becoming numb to the pain of existence

Mugi thighs

Mugi thighs

Recruit
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Joined
Nov 17, 2020
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The depression prob won't ever gone away, but I've become more at peace with myself over the past year or so. I think letting go of unrealistic expectations for one's life is good for the ego. I don't have to have a gf, a lot of money, or a big suburban house. I am who I am, and cannot be anything different. Sigh.
 
Congrats bro, you have achived something very few of us can. Ive been trying to forget or numb it, but it always leaks into my mind and everywhere i can only see blackpills
 
I've become more at peace with myself over the past year or so. I think letting go of unrealistic expectations for one's life is good for the ego.
I tried this over the summer when I took a break from the forum and the manosphere in general besides a few fringe Youtube channels which encouraged letting go of unrealistic expectations. It helped a lot, but I always felt like something was missing in the back of my mind that I couldn't quite get rid of or understand. Perhaps we have seen similar content (Lazarus/Spetsnaz?), and maybe I should rewatch them again.

I think coming back here has made things worse - it's reopened my eyes to injustice, what normies get instead of us, and made me unhappy/unsure with the copes available to me. I think part of that annoying nagging feeling in the back of my mind is that the guys giving this advice have already had relationships and children, and I find it disingenuous when they say that "it's not all that great". Somehow, I think they would feel worse today if they had missed out on relationships and having children entirely like we almost certainly will. "What if" is always worse than "I learned my lesson".
 
No, I'm not numb, I'll never be for that matter. My pathetic existence haunts me everyday everywhere. The only reason I'm here coping is that death is painful yet the moment push comes to shove, I'm gone.
 
I couldn't be numb to it without drugs, honestly.
 
The depression prob won't ever gone away, but I've become more at peace with myself over the past year or so. I think letting go of unrealistic expectations for one's life is good for the ego. I don't have to have a gf, a lot of money, or a big suburban house. I am who I am, and cannot be anything different. Sigh.
At this point, I'm just waiting to die so I've been numb for a while.
 

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