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Incel Depression: Looking up people on facebook/instagram/social media

CrackyChanFan

CrackyChanFan

Self-banned
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Joined
May 8, 2018
Posts
279
I deactivated Facebook many years ago; had to create a fake one recently for work related reasons. Got tempted to look up people I knew from school. God it was depressing. Many of the idiots I knew from school are now married and some have kids. Some of them look older than I expected. Some of them barely seem to have aged since they were 16. All of them in happy relationships. Normal development into adulthood.

I am 27 years old now. Deep into adulthood and I should be beyond this and be above worrying what people from school would think of me now. Should be forgetting about school and have moved well on by now; but I haven't. My mind keeps replaying scenarios that happened as a teenager. Scenes that have been burned deep into my psyche that it seems more real than life now sometimes. Fight scenes with my parents from when I was 14 that I fucking replay daily in my head. Scenes of humiliation from girls when I was 15 years old. Pining love-lust for girls and the suicidal humiliation that came with the inevitable rejection and public humiliation. I keep thinking about all the shit I missed out on due to autism-spaghetti and all the formative experiences of adolescence I don't have. I live in the past way too much. I have a obsession with fiction about adolescence; anything from Le Grand Meaulnes to the fucking TV show Skins.

I did not handle the transition from adolescence to adulthood very well at all. I really really struggled. Something just snapped in me in my second year of sixth form. Went mental. Read a lot of Nietzsche. Became and angry and lazy cunt. Bullied by so called friends. Didn't understand how to live. Emotionally all over the place. Got into a good uni (just scraped the grades to get in) and then dropped out due to legit going insane and almost over dosing on pills. Got my degree in the end but from a shitter uni. Still part of me a longing for an adolescence that I never completed.

So much in the world and the general culture has changed in the last 10 years since I last saw schoolmates in person. I spent so much of my early 20s on 4chan and other places. Experienced the rise of tumblr based identity politics online and saw how it bizarrely seemed to take over general modern culture through academia. I got enthusiastically into reading redpill stuff in the run up to the 2016 US election; both in and around politics and sexuality/personal life to make sense of the strange brave new world that was becoming the place I was entering adulthood into. I am now very black-pilled about politics, society, and my own life; I am cynical about everything.
 
23, but many foids in my class already have multiple kids
Yeah, I just keep thinking about how much school sucked, it's so embarrassing and just downright... dehumanizing?
I even have dreams about it, but they're mostly farsical and yet they kinda make me angry.
 
I should be beyond this and be above worrying what people from school would think of me now.
Sadly, you're right - the only one who isn't worried about what people think of him is Chad because there's nothing for them to judge him or make fun of him for. The "just don't give a fuck about what others think" BS is a cope.

Still part of me a longing for an adolescence that I never completed.
The teenagelovepill/teenagelifepill strikes again. :feelsbadman:

I got enthusiastically into reading redpill stuff in the run up to the 2016 US election; both in and around politics and sexuality/personal life to make sense of the strange brave new world that was becoming the place I was entering adulthood into. I am now very black-pilled about politics, society, and my own life; I am cynical about everything.
Same here, with roughly the same timing. Although it wasn't the election itself that got me into the redpill, but the SJW cringe BS.
 
I think about one foid I knew quite well when I was a teenager. She was smart, quiet and sweet or at least that's how I remember her; when I was a teenager I was bluepilled af.

Decide to look her up. She became a children's illustrator. 'Aww she always was so sweet and feminine' I thought. Any way I find her twitter: pronouns in bio; 'black lives matter'; 'black trans lives matter' etc... Instantly can't stand her. All nostalgic bluepilled longing completely dissipates.
 
God it was depressing. Many of the idiots I knew from school are now married and some have kids. All of them in happy relationships. Normal development into adulthood.
Seeing your bullies being successful in relationships is brutal. :fuk:
I am 27 years old now. Deep into adulthood and I should be beyond this and be above worrying what people from school would think of me now. Should be forgetting about school and have moved well on by now; but I haven't. My mind keeps replaying scenarios that happened as a teenager. Scenes that have been burned deep into my psyche that it seems more real than life now sometimes. Scenes of humiliation from girls when I was 15 years old. Pining love-lust for girls and the suicidal humiliation that came with the inevitable rejection and public humiliation. I keep thinking about all the shit I missed out on due to autism-spaghetti and all the formative experiences of adolescence I don't have. I live in the past way too much.
I'm 31 now, I think I'm scarred for life, I can't get over it. I gotta cope as long as possible, I don't expect that I reach my 40th birthday. :feelsrope:
I did not handle the transition from adolescence to adulthood very well at all. I really really struggled. Something just snapped in me in my second year of sixth form. Went mental.
Same thing. :feelsbadman:
I am now very black-pilled about politics, society, and my own life; I am cynical about everything.
Yeah. I'm feeling progressively worse as time goes by. :feelsbadman:
 

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