SuicideFuel I'm too sentimental

[GowkBird]

I'm too fucking sentimental, I'm very sad when remembering old days, old friends who are so fucking far and I even can't talk to them because I don't know how to start a chat. I can't read books, watch serials and anime a lot because most of them are soul crushing for me. The shittiest thing - I can't even cry (I'm tried to cry last time a 6 years ago when my cat died), I'm just feel smashed completely and I don't know how to make that feel go away. When something touchy happens in serial/anime, I'm just shaking like some orphan. All the nostalgia and sadness is accumulates and never go away, shit...

Spoiler

I'm just almost ended watch assasination classroom (anime), and can't watch last 3 episodes because I would kill myself definitely

 

[Deleted member 15737]

I ran into a class mates grandmother a few months back and she wanted me to text my old classmate. (her grand son) so she gave me his number. We were friends in high school and then he moved, this was around 6 years ago.

I texted him and said “Hey, this is (blank) from high school, do you remember me? How is it going?”

He literally wrote “How did you get this number? I don’t think I remember you, that was a long time ago. I’m married and out of college now”

Makes me realize that everybody has moved on and actually done something with their lives while I just sat here and rotted no matter how hard I tried.

 

[GowkBird]

I ran into a class mates grandmother a few months back and she wanted me to text my old classmate. (her grand son) so she gave me his number. We were friends in high school and then he moved, this was around 6 years ago.

I texted him and said “Hey, this is (blank) from high school, do you remember me? How is it going?”

He literally wrote “How did you get this number? I don’t think I remember you, that was a long time ago. I’m married and out of college now”

Makes me realize that everybody has moved on and actually done something with their lives while I just sat here and rotted no matter how hard I tried.

So cruel.


Also, does anyone know how to deal with that feelings or make them go?

 

[Nothingness]

I would mark it as soy fuel

 

[GowkBird]

I would mark it as soy fuel

I`m never drink/eat a soy drinks/food. And I'm with happiness will throw that feelings away, because this is the second worst thing in my life (first is my body), so I asking how I can do it.

 

[Nothingness]

I`m never drink/eat a soy drinks/food. And I'm with happiness will throw that feelings away, because this is the second worst thing in my life (first is my body), so I asking how I can do it.

Listen to metal.

 

[TheRealChincel]

Hit the gym, increase your test by diet, OP, this is too for a guy your age.

 

[GowkBird]

Hit the gym, increase your test by diet, OP, this is too for a guy your age.

I always was like that, testosterone is ok.

 

[GowkBird]

Anyway, to all emotionalcels - jerking off and cutting yourself is great way to get calm again.

Spoiler

I'm sorry for this attention whoring thread but I need this srsly

 

[Guest2]

assasination classroom

Seems good

 

[GowkBird]

Seems good

No, it's not about ER. But it's actually very great and funny, I think you'll enjoy that if you 16-20 yo.

 

[Guest2]

No, it's not about ER. But it's actually very great and funny, I think you'll enjoy that if you 16-20 yo.

I am. Maybe I'll check it out actually, if even only for the name kek

 

[Cuyen]

Anyway, to all emotionalcels - jerking off and cutting yourself is great way to get calm again.

Spoiler

I'm sorry for this attention whoring thread but I need this srsly

agree with jerking off but not cutting urself

 

[GowkBird]

agree with jerking off but not cutting urself

Jerking off helping to calm in sexual way, cutting yourself you have a big dopamine boost so you gets happy and peaceful. Exactly what I need when I can't handle emotions.

 

[TheRealChincel]

I always was like that, testosterone is ok.

What is ok? 300 ng/l, 400?

 

[Deleted member 15752]

Hit the gym, increase your test by diet,

 

[GowkBird]

What is ok? 300 ng/l, 400?

Dunno, I was blood taken on test year ago when I passed medical commission (for army). When I asked what tests exactly they done, doctor said that they taken usual tests on infection, cannabinoids (and other drugs), HIV and other venereal stuff, also hormones. On my question "and how is it?" he answered "everything is ok". And two years ago I was sended to diagnostic center because I said to doctor that I'm not growing up since my 14yo (I was 17 on moment), and endocrinologist said that everything in normal and I'm should accept my height .
But now I'm interested the real number, I should check it out.

 

[Smallondick]

I am also, I still have a great sense of guilt.

 

[TheRealChincel]

Dunno, I was taken blood on test year ago when I passed medical commission (for army). When I asked what tests exactly they done, doctor said that they taken usual tests on infection, cannabinoids (and other drugs), HIV and other venereal stuff, also hormones. On my question "and how is it?" he answered "everything is ok". And two years ago I was sended to diagnostic center because I said to doctor that I'm not growing up since my 14yo (I was 17 on moment), and endocrinologist said that everything in normal and I'm should accept my height .
But now I'm interested the real number, I should check it out.

As you should be because they can see a young guy has 350 ng/l and say he’s normal despite the fact that it’s half what a guy his age has on average.

 

[GowkBird]

I am also, I still have a great sense of guilt.

Good to know I'm not the only one. But as for me, my mother often try to manipulate me with feel of guilt so now I'm almost immortal for it)) (still feel guilty for bad stuff in the past that i did).

 

[Deleted member 16455]

I am reminded of bad memories when I listen to certain songs

 

[LastGerman]

I texted him and said “Hey, this is (blank) from high school, do you remember me? How is it going?”

He literally wrote “How did you get this number? I don’t think I remember you, that was a long time ago. I’m married and out of college now”

Makes me realize that everybody has moved on and actually done something with their lives while I just sat here and rotted no matter how hard I tried.

And this also shows, while you remember him, he did not even give a fuck about you.

 

[GowkBird]

I am reminded of bad memories when I listen to certain songs

Well, I have memories and feelings too when I'm listen certain songs or watching certain serials/anime. So I'm avoiding of my beloved ost, anime, books, movies etc. because it's unbearable for me when it's ending. Especially if it's very good feelings or memories - it's just unbearable.

 

[Smallondick]

(still feel guilty for bad stuff in the past that i did).

That.

 

[Cuyen]

Jerking off helping to calm in sexual way, cutting yourself you have a big dopamine boost so you gets happy and peaceful. Exactly what I need when I can't handle emotions.

sounds dangerous bro

 

[GowkBird]

sounds dangerous bro

Yes, it's painful also, but it's works! And yes, then more you do it, then more pain you need in the next time .