I'm so sorry that I'm stupid

[SecularNeo-Khazar]

I can only speak fluently when I repeat thougths I had spent hours on contemplating or the topic is one of those I thougth about myself for days.

I can't do simple math. I always repeat the same mistakes.

I can't write an essay right. I can't interpret and read the text on a lesson right.

I can't behave as people want me to. Whatever I do there's always a problem, either I'm too quiet or to loud or something. Sometimes I wonder if I know what formal attire looks like, I wouldn't be surprised

I repeat myself every time

I have problems with searching up information on websites. I don't have a clue what documentation I should prepare to apply to an university.

I can't do my hair decently. In the mirror when I move my hands, they always end up not where I need them to, I'm confused as hell.

I can't do anything right. Not even the simplest of task done by me have zero flaws. I have problems cutting meat, onions, apples etc.

I stutter. I have a speech defect after my father.

I can't do sports like others, I was always the worse, I was always on the buttom, I was always chosen last, I was always made fun of, I was always the worst in class. Foids waited until we finished, so every foid saw me get wrecked.

I was bullied. Not the way they show on tv, called names, looked badly upon or treated coldly. NO! I was abused physically. If I was avarage I would propably have avoided this.

I don't know what to do anymore.

I don't even know why I exist.

With each day my depression cames back as it was once. It comes and then goes away and then comes back again.

The furthest point of me doing something in the direction of kiling myself was lying down on the street once for a few seconds. If I wasn't stupid I would be able to cope, but I can't even lie to myself. I hope that eventually it will happen.

 

[Deleted member 28708]

Be lowinhib, that might be your #1 problem.

And if you daydream a lot, it can cause that too, talking from experience.

 

[vermilion]

I can only speak fluently when I repeat thougths I had spent hours on contemplating or the topic is one of those I thougth about myself for days.

I can't do simple math. I always repeat the same mistakes.

I can't write an essay right. I can't interpret and read the text on a lesson right.

I can't behave as people want me to. Whatever I do there's always a problem, either I'm too quiet or to loud or something. Sometimes I wonder if I know what formal attire looks like, I wouldn't be surprised

I repeat myself every time

I have problems with searching up information on websites. I don't have a clue what documentation I should prepare to apply to an university.

I can't do my hair decently. In the mirror when I move my hands, they always end up not where I need them to, I'm confused as hell.

I can't do anything right. Not even the simplest of task done by me have zero flaws. I have problems cutting meat, onions, apples etc.

I stutter. I have a speech defect after my father.

I can't do sports like others, I was always the worse, I was always on the buttom, I was always chosen last, I was always made fun of, I was always the worst in class. Foids waited until we finished, so every foid saw me get wrecked.

I was bullied. Not the way they show on tv, called names, looked badly upon or treated coldly. NO! I was abused physically. If I was avarage I would propably have avoided this.

I don't know what to do anymore.

I don't even know why I exist.

With each day my depression cames back as it was once. It comes and then goes away and then comes back again.

The furthest point of me doing something in the direction of kiling myself was lying down on the street once for a few seconds. If I wasn't stupid I would be able to cope, but I can't even lie to myself. I hope that eventually it will happen.

You strike me as an intelligent person. Don't know why you decided to say those things now. Just remember it's not your fault; you didn't choose to be like that. And we tend to focus more on the subjects we like, which is why schools can be a pain in the ass sometimes. Don't go too hard on yourself brother.

 

[SecularNeo-Khazar]

You strike me as an intelligent person.

You and I both know, this is just a compliment everyone says to each other and has lost its direct meaning in todays society.

Why is it that every bad thing I say about myself are products of "emotions" and "circumstances" but the good things are true, objective and right?

What reasons should I give you for you to find what I say as true?

 

[vermilion]

You and I both know, this is just a compliment everyone says to each other and has lost its direct meaning in todays society.

Why is it that every bad thing I say about myself are products of "emotions" and "circumstances" but the good things are true, objective and right?

What reasons should I give you for you to find what I say as true?

Ironically, that level of introspection is only found among intelligent people since NPCs aren't very self-aware. Think about that for a second.

 

[SecularNeo-Khazar]

Ironically, that level of introspection is only found among intelligent people since NPCs aren't very self-aware. Think about that for a second.

If this single response is enough for you, and you don't even know me, and it makes you to say that, then idk.

There's a saying, you know? Jak grochem o ściane — Like throwing beans against the wall.

And its always been like that. Nobody I talk to even tries to understand me. They do the same thing you do. Take one random thing that suits the oposite thesis, and push on against me.

But ok, two can play that game. Fine, lets pretend that I never watched videos about inteligence, that I never watched atheist videos on youtube and I came to have this level of introspection because as you say, I'm not stupid.

You gave me one reason, I gave a few. Either yours outweights mine or you have to follow up with some more.

 

[vermilion]

If this single response is enough for you, and you don't even know me, and it makes you to say that, then idk.

There's a saying, you know? Jak grochem o ściane — Like throwing beans against the wall.

And its always been like that. Nobody I talk to even tries to understand me. They do the same thing you do. Take one random thing that suits the oposite thesis, and push on against me.

But ok, two can play that game. Fine, lets pretend that I never watched videos about inteligence, that I never watched atheist videos on youtube and I came to have this level of introspection because as you say, I'm not stupid.

You gave me one reason, I gave a few. Either yours outweights mine or you have to follow up with some more.

Fine. So you don't value my personal opinion; you prefer an agreeable approach.

You're stupid. You stutter. Can't do math. Repeat yourself every time. Can't do your hair decently. Can't write essays. Can't do sports. Can't behave as people want you to. Can't do anything right.

You're sorry for being stupid. I forgive you.

There: now we understand each other.