SuicideFuel I'm so disconnected from reality

[Deep.Nest]

I occasionally stalk the social medias of people I knew from high school or college and it's pure ropefuel. I see their tiktoks or instagrams and how they spent their last day of their senior year partying and having fun while I was in my bedroom drinking until I passed out. I can't really fathom what it feels like to actually have friends who care about you. It comes so naturally to everyone else yet I struggle to get people to think of me as a human.

I see people make posts about college game days. It's wild to me that people can get together with all their friends (and girlfriends too) and just spend the entire day together having fun, going to events, and partying. That sounds as foreign to me as being a billionaire. Like you're telling me people actually go out and spend time with friends? what does that even feel like? I can't imagine what it's like to have other people who actually care about me.

It's like it is too late to realistically enter society. I missed the train and now I'm fucked forever. If I try, it'll be blatantly obvious to everyone that I'm way behind and have no idea what the fuck I'm doing.

 

[PersonaPimp]

I feel that way as well. I also feel disconnected from my physical body; I feel as though it is not representative of who I really am. Fuck this shitty world I hope it ends soon.

 

[Deep.Nest]

I feel that way as well. I also feel disconnected from my physical body; I feel as though it is not representative of who I really am. Fuck this shitty world I hope it ends soon.

that's a good way to put it. I truly would not care if a meteor hit earth and killed us all.

 

[AtrociousCitizen]

This hits hard tbh. I missed out on everything. The friends, the fun, the experiences—none of it was ever available to me; I never got to experience such basic milestones that are crucial for your development. Everyone else had people who cared about them, but I was just alone—and now I am so far behind, I am akin to an alien walking on this earthly plane. I have nothing but contempt for those people who live like that. To spend their days in mindless hedonism and empty self-indulgence, while we suffer every day.

 

[Deep.Nest]

This hits hard tbh. I missed out on everything. The friends, the fun, the experiences—none of it was ever available to me; I never got to experience such basic milestones that are crucial for your development. Everyone else had people who cared about them, but I was just alone—and now I am so far behind, I am akin to an alien walking on this earthly plane. I have nothing but contempt for those people who live like that. To spend their days in mindless hedonism and empty self-indulgence, while we suffer every day.

Yeah fuck all those people. They left us behind to rot so I truly do not give a shit about them

 

[unlucky guy]

I have the same problem i never socialized in real life since i was 13(due to bad past experiences)and i never experienced any of the important milestones.As a result i am a complete socially inept retard i have absolutely no idea how to start socialising i have no idea how it works and how other people do it so easily.There are so many unwritten rules that i don't fucking understand i feel like an alien having a basic social life or friends seems so unreachable to me.
I guess i am just too far behind and missed out on too much,it is like trying to do high level math while you have 0 prior math knowledge.