I am just roping over my painstakingly mediocre life where I wake up and do the same unfulfilling shit every single day to seemingly no end. Being ugly and an giga framecel is just the cherry on top
of how unbelievably sad and tragic my life has become.
I never even got to live, never got to experience the smallest amount of happiness and now that I am what you would call an "adult", I am now expected to be a soulless work drone and still be content with my life.
despite being an atheist, I believe in the law of incels always losing, so the odds are god is actually real all along and i'll go to hell and burn for eternity just because i was born a subhuman autistic. Theres no repenting for my face or frame.
girls rarely cross my mind at all, ive fapped away my libido for 8+ years now. The blackpill has totally upended the bluepilled view I once had on women, but at the same time the blackpill also eliminated my belief that humans were somehow exempt from the laws of determinism and natural selection, we aren't really that complex at all. I did actually try with a few girls awhile back and got rejected pretty brutally so that just crushed all the hope I had for getting a GF.
I tried to commit suicide with different drugs and poison before but the mistake I made was testing low doses of them beforehand and it was absolute terrifying feeling myself slowly fade away and I almost called an ambulance on myself because of the extreme panic. I think the only way out that is suitable for me is a shotgun right into the head because its instantaneous if u hit the right spot and ur dead within 15-30 seconds, but the dilemma for me right now is there's only one gun store nearby and if I somehow fuck it up and act like a retard i risk being refused sale and then im truly fucked because I can't drive.
of how unbelievably sad and tragic my life has become.
I never even got to live, never got to experience the smallest amount of happiness and now that I am what you would call an "adult", I am now expected to be a soulless work drone and still be content with my life.
despite being an atheist, I believe in the law of incels always losing, so the odds are god is actually real all along and i'll go to hell and burn for eternity just because i was born a subhuman autistic. Theres no repenting for my face or frame.
girls rarely cross my mind at all, ive fapped away my libido for 8+ years now. The blackpill has totally upended the bluepilled view I once had on women, but at the same time the blackpill also eliminated my belief that humans were somehow exempt from the laws of determinism and natural selection, we aren't really that complex at all. I did actually try with a few girls awhile back and got rejected pretty brutally so that just crushed all the hope I had for getting a GF.
I tried to commit suicide with different drugs and poison before but the mistake I made was testing low doses of them beforehand and it was absolute terrifying feeling myself slowly fade away and I almost called an ambulance on myself because of the extreme panic. I think the only way out that is suitable for me is a shotgun right into the head because its instantaneous if u hit the right spot and ur dead within 15-30 seconds, but the dilemma for me right now is there's only one gun store nearby and if I somehow fuck it up and act like a retard i risk being refused sale and then im truly fucked because I can't drive.
