JFL I am the biggest coper on this forum and it's not even close. I thought that escortceling would make up for my lack of a sex life. But it's not the same. And it will never make up for the absence of love in my adolescence. A couple months ago I found this girl who is somewhat popular online and escorts UTR. She looks like one of those dumb zoomer white girls you see on tiktok who is young with a tiny waist and disproportionately massive tits. I paid her a little over 3k for the night (if you want to fuck one of those sluts you fap to on social media, pricing starts at like 1k an hour). It was by all accounts a good punt, she was the hottest girl I've fucked so far, but it left me deeply embittered and disillusioned with modernity and with escortcoping.
I had to treat her to dinner if I booked her for the night so we met up at a restaurant. I let her pick the place - big mistake. The bill was over $200 for the two of us. I try to get to know her during dinner but quickly realized she was some generic bitch with a cookie cutter personality. The only thing these girls know is food, travel, sucking dick, and social media. Out of necessity, I had to talk about myself. I'm sick of myself, but I find these types to be insufferable. I tell her about lookism, and of course she tries to tell me its horseshit, that she has friends that are with guys that she doesnt think is attractive, and that she personally finds intelligence to be the most attractive thing in a man. I didn't find it convincing. Eventually I change the subject and start talking about God. I found it amusing to tell this whore about a moral being who is responsible for a world where happiness is conditional on virtue. She wasn't too enthused about it. Then we went back to my hotel and smashed. For round two I wanted to try 69. I didn't know what I was getting myself into since I've never done it before, but nothing could have prepared me for the unbearable stench of her ass. I later vomited, though alcohol may have played a role in this. I ended up finishing between her big dumb zoomer tits. It was a consummate experience, and we spent the rest of the time cuddling and making out.
But the experience made me realize that a lack of sex isn't the reason why I'm unhappy. I don't even know if sex is a good thing. It turns girls into damaged goods who lose the ability to love. What we really need is love, the path to happiness isn't sexual consumerism but purity and monogamy. But this is pretty much impossible in this hostile climate of loose morals. If you didn't get it as a teenager, JFL it's over. You could geomax or groommax, but the problem still remains that you spent your teenage years alone.
Escortceling is really quite dogshit, and by partaking in it you aren't really much better than the whores you're fucking. For one, it's meaningless. You will never have a relationship with these girls, most of the time you just see them once and then never again. And even if you did, they aren't even capable of love. Two, you are just funding their whore lifestyle by paying them. Like this girl I fucked, she only escorts part time. She uses this money to live a lavish lifestyle and travel the world and have sex with chads for free and without a condom. I looked at her onlyfans content for free on simpcity and saw a bunch of pictures and videos of her with chads that mog me. It made me deeply embittered. Especially since I've travelled extensively and stayed at hostels to try and get laid but came up short every time. Three, these girls were at one point capable of love, but lost it by having sex with a ton of chads in adolescence (for free). It is kind of infuriating to think these whores used to at least somewhat resemble a human being, and chads in adolescence got to enjoy it while you rotted in your room on your computer.
Anyway, TLDR I lost my cope and now don't really know how I'm gonna spend the rest of my life. I don't really like this world. I don't particularly enjoy living in it. I guess it doesn't even matter though, if you miss out on teen love your life is over
