Blackpill I'm depressed and don't value myself, I don't think I ever will again.

[JimMilton]

I am too scared to hang with people my age, or go to campus to study, to scared to commit to routines for my learning or get a life, I am depressed, fearful, pathetic and a coward, I'm not normal, not nice, and not worth thinking about. I tried to respectfully tell her I think I am replaceable, and that there is countless young guys, they are all replaceable or at least I am with them, she said family isn't, but deep down I thought to myself, our family doesn't matter, no ones does, humans as a race don't matter and me as a person... no I don't, and I know that based on my spiritual reflections. I have to say, we are all animals and don't matter, and I don't care about myself anymore. That's all I can say. My life is stupid and a waste of life and breath, too gutless to end it or to live it really so I read about my covert narcissism and as of today, the depression that I've inflicted on myself and life all because I am a pussy. I don't think I will ever value myself again, it only comes out when my covert narcissism comes out, other than that, I have no interest in my well-being anymore. Goodnight, until tomorrow, I'm logging off.

 

[AnApparentMyth]

I hope you can still find something to enjoy. Being depressed and suicidal is horrible and I can relate. I'm assuming by "her" you mean your mom? No one really knows what their doing, any way.

 

[JimMilton]

I hope you can still find something to enjoy. Being depressed and suicidal is horrible and I can relate. I'm assuming by "her" you mean your mom? No one really knows what their doing, any way.

I appreciate that thanks, sorry to hear you can relate. I do yes, I don't know, except that my living and breathing is all ego and evil and I don't say that lightly.

 

[AnApparentMyth]

I appreciate that thanks, sorry to hear you can relate. I do yes, I don't know, except that my living and breathing is all ego and evil and I don't say that lightly.

I told you we would meet again lol. Why is your living and breathing ego and evil? What is convincing you of this?

 

[JimMilton]

I told you we would meet again lol. Why is your living and breathing ego and evil? What is convincing you of this?

We did yes, makes sense. I have a soft side, too soft, but I think all in all, living is for you and if it isn't then you're getting close to a lost cause, if I try to enjoy life my sins come up in my face, but that's me feeling sorry for myself because I was a bad and are a bad person who has been abusive and still can be because they are shallow with their morals and try to seem nice but are not,, being alive is selfish for my life, except if you are someones slave wholeheartedly and get no happiness or pleasure for yourself. and until that is available, I'm a wast eof oxygen that is selfish attetion seeking on a site for true victims not fakes it's all evil ego

 

[AnApparentMyth]

We did yes, makes sense. I have a soft side, too soft, but I think all in all, living is for you and if it isn't then you're getting close to a lost cause, if I try to enjoy life my sins come up in my face, but that's me feeling sorry for myself because I was a bad and are a bad person who has been abusive and still can be because they are shallow with their morals and try to seem nice but are not,, being alive is selfish for my life, except if you are someones slave wholeheartedly and get no happiness or pleasure for yourself. and until that is available, I'm a wast eof oxygen that is selfish

What happened? Who, or what did you abuse? If you don't wanna talk about that, that's okay to. Just let me know. We have all done bad things, plenty of times. We've hurt others more then we can all count. I won't say being alive is a gift and all, but it isn't selfish. You didn't choose to be here, your parents did.

 

[Mecoja]

Im sorry you feel this way, its the depression and nihilism that drowns you, its the same with me. There are real life problems that put us there. One advice, that im trying to apply to myself, if you want friends, go easy on them. Dont dump all your opinions, emotions, ventings etc on them. Its a heavy burden and they will run away.

 

[Based NaziCel]

JimMilton​

Recruit​

★★★
Joined:Feb 6, 2025 Posts:204

 

[JimMilton]

What happened? Who, or what did you abuse? If you don't wanna talk about that, that's okay to. Just let me know. We have all done bad things, plenty of times. We've hurt others more then we can all count. I won't say being alive is a gift and all, but it isn't selfish. You didn't choose to be here, your parents did.

Over the years, more than one incident, I was really very dramatic and angry, more so than now but haven’t changed, I won’t speak about it on here but thanks for the offer and stuff I agree with what you’ve said, it’s a bigger idea than what I can make sense of and depends on how I’m feeling on the day. I didn’t choose no but I think keeping living might be self centred on my part don’t know

 

[JimMilton]

Im sorry you feel this way, it’s the depression and nihilism that drowns you, it’s the same with me. There are real life problems that put us there. One advice, that im trying to apply to myself, if you want friends, go easy on them. Dont dump all your opinions, emotions, ventings etc on them. It’s a heavy burden and they will run away.

Thanks for the supports, yes I’m starting to see it sorry it’s happening to you. That’s good advice, I’ll make sure to keep that in mind thank you.

 

[AnApparentMyth]

Over the years, more than one incident, I was really very dramatic and angry, more so than now but haven’t changed, I won’t speak about it on here but thanks for the offer and stuff I agree with what you’ve said, it’s a bigger idea than what I can make sense of and depends on how I’m feeling on the day. I didn’t choose no but I think keeping living might be self centred on my part don’t know

I understand man. We all get like that sometimes, I do to. I blow up at my parents for silly stuff. I'm assuming she left you, and is no longer with you? Living is all up to you to make sense of it. Was there ever really an objective meaning?

 

[JimMilton]

I understand man. We all get like that sometimes, I do to. I blow up at my parents for silly stuff. I'm assuming she left you, and is no longer with you? Living is all up to you to make sense of it. Was there ever really an objective meaning?

My mother is with me, yeah well I’m sure we all do but I don’t want to have any friends I’m a pretty shit person to be around, yes no meaning and all the people starving and poor in all countries deserve all the money that’s been spent on me

 

[JimMilton]

No more pity farming, thanks for replies not posting in this thread anymore.

 

[Fortress Resolution]

I am too scared to hang with people my age, or go to campus to study, to scared to commit to routines for my learning or get a life, I am depressed, fearful, pathetic and a coward, I'm not normal, not nice, and not worth thinking about. I tried to respectfully tell her I think I am replaceable, and that there is countless young guys, they are all replaceable or at least I am with them, she said family isn't, but deep down I thought to myself, our family doesn't matter, no ones does, humans as a race don't matter and me as a person... no I don't, and I know that based on my spiritual reflections. I have to say, we are all animals and don't matter, and I don't care about myself anymore. That's all I can say. My life is stupid and a waste of life and breath, too gutless to end it or to live it really so I read about my covert narcissism and as of today, the depression that I've inflicted on myself and life all because I am a pussy. I don't think I will ever value myself again, it only comes out when my covert narcissism comes out, other than that, I have no interest in my well-being anymore. Goodnight, until tomorrow, I'm logging off.

You need good copes brocel

 

[JimMilton]

You need good copes brocel

I agree

 

[ClovER]

What bothers me the most in these cases is when they try to make you out to be a failure with no talent, or anything like that.

 

[AnApparentMyth]

My mother is with me, yeah well I’m sure we all do but I don’t want to have any friends I’m a pretty shit person to be around, yes no meaning and all the people starving and poor in all countries deserve all the money that’s been spent on me

Do you mean like a bad personality? Nobody deserves anything, but just use what you have that is given to you. Being selfless is good, but make sure you are one with yourself in terms of the money you have. Your parents wanted you to live, so live, my friend.

 

[JimMilton]

Do you mean like a bad personality? Nobody deserves anything, but just use what you have that is given to you. Being selfless is good, but make sure you are one with yourself in terms of the money you have. Your parents wanted you to live, so live, my friend.

I mean like evil personality and bad yes, that makes sense to use what you’ve been given. Money yeah that makes sense. I’ll live, thank you for the reminder, you too

 

[AnApparentMyth]

I mean like evil personality and bad yes, that makes sense to use what you’ve been given. Money yeah that makes sense. I’ll live, thank you for the reminder, you too

No problem. If you ever want to talk, come and chat with me. I'll be here for any discussion, friend!

 

[JimMilton]

No problem. If you ever want to talk, come and chat with me. I'll be here for any discussion, friend!

Thanks very much, appreciate it and have a good one man

 

[Popovshishman]

I mean like evil personality and bad yes, that makes sense to use what you’ve been given. Money yeah that makes sense. I’ll live, thank you for the reminder, you too

Honestly my advice would be to just try to change. I'm not going to lie to you and tell you it'll suddenly start fixing your problems, because it might not but what it will do is help you feel better about yourself atleast temporarily. At the end of the day, what do you have to lose? If it doesn't help, nothing changes so you've lost nothing and if it does you've gained a lot more.

Ofc, there's always the option of just drinking yourself into a sort of happy fugue state and passing the days like that too. (Wouldn't recommend, although it helps me to cope)

 

[JimMilton]

Honestly my advice would be to just try to change. I'm not going to lie to you and tell you it'll suddenly start fixing your problems, because it might not but what it will do is help you feel better about yourself atleast temporarily. At the end of the day, what do you have to lose? If it doesn't help, nothing changes so you've lost nothing and if it does you've gained a lot more.

Ofc, there's always the option of just drinking yourself into a sort of happy fugue state and passing the days like that too. (Wouldn't recommend, although it helps me to cope)

Good advice thank you I will give that a go honestly. And if not; the latter sounds fair enough.