IncelCream
Paragon
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- Joined
- Feb 4, 2020
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View: https://www.reddit.com/r/NoStupidQuestions/comments/18x6q0r/im_black_and_my_family_doesnt_accept_my_white/?share_id=5K3LCOcgqQ7_yasPeemFl&utm_content=1&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_source=share&utm_term=1
I'm a 17 year old girl and have been dating my boyfriend who is also 17 for a few months now. The major issue is that he's white and all of my previous boyfriends have been black. I didn't think race was a big deal so I never mentioned to my family that my new boyfriend was white before they met him.
I'm the only sister and have 4 brothers - 2 older and 2 younger. My mom was cordial when she met my boyfriend but I could tell she wasn't thrilled. My dad refuses to even meet him or eat dinner with us, saying I'm betraying myself and my background. I lied and told my boyfriend my dad was just sick to avoid an awkward conversation about this.
My oldest brother is very into racial justice and black issues and he's been really angry that I'm dating a white guy now. He's giving me a lot of grief over this relationship. Another older brother who has only dated white and Latina girls is also being hypocritical and keeps glaring at my boyfriend and twisting his words.
My younger brothers don't seem to care much either way though my 11 year old brother likes my boyfriend and they've played video games together.
The worst part is both my older brothers sat my boyfriend down and gave him a "hurt our sister and you'll regret it" speech that was totally uncalled for and embarrassing.
I've tried explaining to my family that I really care about my boyfriend as an individual, not just because of his race, but they aren't listening. His family is more subtle with their disapproval, his mom especially makes sharky comments about me.
This whole thing is causing a lot of tension. I don't know how to get my family, especially my dad and oldest brother, to accept my interracial relationship. Any advice on how to deal with this situation would be greatly appreciated!
Edit: thanks for all the support I will definitely note your ideas. But I feel as though I left out an important information. His family at first displayed a very racist behavior towards me, specially his mom who outwardly disliked me and his dad who was ignoring me the whole time. But he successfully talked them into at-least being civil to me.
Another thing is that my family didn’t make any scene when my brother dated white girls. Other than funny comments here and there. They infact liked her and treated her normal, that’s why I didn’t mention that my boyfriend was white to my family
Edit: again thanks for all the tips but pls don’t use this post as an excuse to comment racist stuff. I’m only asking for tips on how to make my relationship work. I’m not into any of that stuff. If you have a negative opinion towards black people that isn’t related to this post. Keep it to yourself.