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JFL If you wanted to suicide in epic (but non-ER) way, how would you do it?

Sergeant Kelly

Sergeant Kelly

"Took your sweet time, Marine?"
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I'm way past any serious suicidal thoughts, but when I was playing through Resident Evil 4 (OG) last year for some reason I started to wonder how would I go out in case I decide to off myself peacefully once I'm old fuck.

After some thinking here's how I'd do it:
-don't fap for a month
-rent hotel room for two days
-disassemble shotgun, bring it there, reassemble and hide it somewhere
-rent three whores for a day (for additional trolling make sure they want some initial payment at best and not all money up-front), have one cosplay as Ashley Graham from RE4, one as 2B from Nier: Automata and one as plain catholic nun, have them go at each other
-take viagra, fuck them as much as I can through day
-once I know that I don't have it in me to go another round, pull out shotgun and blow my brains out right there in front of them :dab:

The only downside is that I couldn't see their reactions since my light would instantly be out :lul:
If you'll hear about some goofy incident like this in a couple of decades, you know who that will be :feelskek:
 
I would jerk off on top of a building and when I nutted on the foids below me I would jump off.
 
Never suicide all incels must live as long as humanly possible
 
Walk into a uni campus, night club or whatever with gasoline all over me then light myself on fire like those Japanese protesters or lamp lighter in The Boys. I’ll do it in front of all the people and I’ll still be able to get their reactions cause I’ll be burning to death and it won’t be sudden. If any of them try to save me I’ll run away while burning. I’ll probably make it 10x times better by going on a stage in a class room of mine or night club etc and troll for a bit and for my last trick, I’ll show my pyro skills :feelshaha:
 

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