Deleted member 8353
Former Hikikomori, Aimless Pleasure Seeker
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- Joined
- May 29, 2018
- Posts
- 9,332
Thinking about my past has a tendency to enrage me, especially my adolescence. Between the way other males have tormented me, to the manner in which I was rejected by foids, I often legit have to force myself to calm down and distract myself so I don't start punching the wall or hurting myself.
Sometimes I feel like I don't even want a foid's "love" anymore, that the experience of pinning the head of some foid to the floor, just before painting said floor with her brain matter would be something that I'd prefer. I have similar thoughts about my bullies, and I hate feeling like this. But I don't know how to make this shit stop, at least permanently, and I don't want to mention it to my therapist and have the potential of being sent to the psych ward again(despite me having no intention of doing any of these things).
There are a decent amount of things I can do to make myself feel better, but none that prevent the anger from coming back. How do you even recover from being mogged so hard and essentially told you're subhuman all your life?
Sometimes I feel like I don't even want a foid's "love" anymore, that the experience of pinning the head of some foid to the floor, just before painting said floor with her brain matter would be something that I'd prefer. I have similar thoughts about my bullies, and I hate feeling like this. But I don't know how to make this shit stop, at least permanently, and I don't want to mention it to my therapist and have the potential of being sent to the psych ward again(despite me having no intention of doing any of these things).
There are a decent amount of things I can do to make myself feel better, but none that prevent the anger from coming back. How do you even recover from being mogged so hard and essentially told you're subhuman all your life?