Incels.is - Involuntary Celibate

My mom is the only family I have and pretty much the only reason I haven't put a bullet through my head. When i was younger and not blackpilled, I wanted to make her happy and proud of me. Now I know that'll never happen. I can see through her eyes that she thinks i'm a huge disappointment cause I don't have a dream job or a nice house and of course, I can't give her grandkids. She will never say she's proud of me. She will never say that she feels blessed for being my mother. I'm nothing more than and ugly and subhuman failure. I wish i was dead. I wish she had aborted me.