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Venting I wish I was a psychopath

Allah (Real)

Allah (Real)

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I wish I was a psychopath
I don't mean this in an edgy, "oh broo wouldn't it be soo cool if I was a dark triad serial killer."
No, of course not. That's a juvenile fantasy.
I just don't want to feel my emotions. I want a disconnect that's neurologically unobtainable by a mind like mine.
I don't want to be so emotional. My emotions are utterly vestigial, they don't make my life fuller, they just make it more painful.
I want to live a life without guilt, depression, worry, and alike.

If wishes counted I'd rather be a Chad of course; but if I were to retain my form, I'd change my mind so I could be condemned and humiliated but would not internalize it. I don't want to internalize even an atom's worth of a single feeling.
 
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No being a psychopath for your face
 
ur just asking to be bored all the time. that's the main takeaway if ur an incel.
 
ur just asking to be bored all the time. that's the main takeaway if ur an incel.
yeah I know psychopaths get bored easily, but being bored is a good thing in my case, it would make me actually do shit; a motor force for action.
 
yeah I know psychopaths get bored easily, but being bored is a good thing in my case, it would make me actually do shit; a motor force for action.
u have no idea what ur talking about.
 
I wish I was a psychopath
I don't mean this in an edgy, "oh broo wouldn't it be soo cool if I was a dark triad serial killer."
No, of course not. That's a juvenile fantasy.
I just don't want to feel my emotions. I want a disconnect that's neurologically unobtainable by a mind like mine.
I don't want to be so emotional. My emotions are utterly vestigial, they don't make my life fuller, they just make it more painful.
I want to live a life without guilt, depression, worry, and alike.

If wishes counted I'd rather be a Chad of course; but if I were to retain my form, I'd change my mind so I could be condemned and humiliated but would not internalize it. I don't want to internalize even an atom's worth of a single feeling.
I suspect I likely have either NPD/ASPD or both. And it doesn't help as much as you think. You still feel anger very much, you just don't cry and your sadness is more of rage form fantasies rather than regular human depression
 
I suspect I likely have either NPD/ASPD or both. And it doesn't help as much as you think. You still feel anger very much, you just don't cry and your sadness is more of rage form fantasies rather than regular human depression
NPDs are really rarely self-aware, but I still highly suspect it in myself. I can't stand people having radically different opinions, to the point of wishing them all long and painful death. I literally got misogynist after reading couple of feminist ramblings on forums. It was enough for me to tolerate people like Ted Bundy and endorse them.
 
I suspect I likely have either NPD/ASPD or both. And it doesn't help as much as you think. You still feel anger very much, you just don't cry and your sadness is more of rage form fantasies rather than regular human depression
I see. My sadness also manifests as anger, but I still feel the sadness internally as a weight on my chest and that's the issue.
I also think my anger is an issue, its a bit too irrational and it clouds my judgement; like I think to myself, "I shouldn't be this angry right now," but although I can suppress its externalization, I can't shut off the feeling.
NPDs are really rarely self-aware, but I still highly suspect it in myself. I can't stand people having radically different opinions, to the point of wishing them all long and painful death. I literally got misogynist after reading couple of feminist ramblings on forums. It was enough for me to tolerate people like Ted Bundy and endorse them.
you might just be a hateful guy, I am too to some extent, doesn't have to be NPD.
 
I see. My sadness also manifests as anger, but I still feel the sadness internally as a weight on my chest and that's the issue.
I also think my anger is an issue, its a bit too irrational and it clouds my judgement; like I think to myself, "I shouldn't be this angry right now," but although I can suppress its externalization, I can't shut off the feeling.

you might just be a hateful guy, I am too to some extent, doesn't have to be NPD.
Well the main reason I suspect it, is I act radically different depending on person I am talking to. If I am talking to someone who is not respected by former I act like a total retard (basically mocking him this way) BUT i noticed that when I'm talking to someone who is smart I am even rarely swearing
 
I understand, sometimes you want to not feel anything, be immune to everything and zone out
 
nah you would only be hated by normies, an ugly guy being over confident is seen as cocky
 
psychopaths can be emotional and feel sadness. just not for others. if you're already selfish then not much would change
 
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