I wish, atleast, that I had gotten a more fulfilling experience when I was still seeking for love. All throughout my life, all of my crushes either reject me, or make it clear they don't like me the way I liked them. It's always been pain, heartbreak, misery and anguish one after one after one.
I looked at them and felt so infetuated with everything about them, and couldn't stop thinking about them. All at the same time, I had to look at all these guys, and how she would give them more attention than me.
I wish I wasn't so love-crazed and lustful. I think this makes me weak. Girls hate weak guys, hell I'd assume everyone hates weak guys. I hate everyone because of this, I just wish everyone would die.
All I can do now is resist, but even then the moment I come up against another girl who I think is going to be different from the last one who rejected me. Who I think is treating me nicer than the last, and I find myself thinking again that we're meant to be together and I start fantasizing about all the future possibilities that we may have together and obsessing over her and changing my entire personality to suit her so that we may be together and become one. All of this is a futile effort, for nothing because I'm the only one who's ever fucking thinking this. Meanwhile she never actually gave a shit, she's just a fucking whore who was playing with my feelings, and I wish they would all just die.
I wish they would all just die die die DIE DIE DIE DIE, I hate them all. I don't know why I still have a hope. I don't think myself delusional, but I can't imagine this being the end. All at the same time... I feel so much resentment towards the guys that girls are attracted to. I feel resentment and I wish that I could never be like them. I think they are disgusting. I think everything about the type of guys women are naturally attracted to is disgusting and foul.
I wish a girl were obsessed with me for what I am. For my weaknesses, for my body, for my face... I want to be a girl's entire world, and I want her to be my entire world. So that I could never ever look at this PUTRID FOUL REALITY, WITH ALL OF THE FLESH DEMONS OUTSIDE PUKING OUT BILE AFTER BILE OF NONSENSE AND NONSENSE. I SPIT ON THIS EARTH, I SPIT ON FUCKING EVERYONE WHO GOES AGAINST ME!
I looked at them and felt so infetuated with everything about them, and couldn't stop thinking about them. All at the same time, I had to look at all these guys, and how she would give them more attention than me.
I wish I wasn't so love-crazed and lustful. I think this makes me weak. Girls hate weak guys, hell I'd assume everyone hates weak guys. I hate everyone because of this, I just wish everyone would die.
All I can do now is resist, but even then the moment I come up against another girl who I think is going to be different from the last one who rejected me. Who I think is treating me nicer than the last, and I find myself thinking again that we're meant to be together and I start fantasizing about all the future possibilities that we may have together and obsessing over her and changing my entire personality to suit her so that we may be together and become one. All of this is a futile effort, for nothing because I'm the only one who's ever fucking thinking this. Meanwhile she never actually gave a shit, she's just a fucking whore who was playing with my feelings, and I wish they would all just die.
I wish they would all just die die die DIE DIE DIE DIE, I hate them all. I don't know why I still have a hope. I don't think myself delusional, but I can't imagine this being the end. All at the same time... I feel so much resentment towards the guys that girls are attracted to. I feel resentment and I wish that I could never be like them. I think they are disgusting. I think everything about the type of guys women are naturally attracted to is disgusting and foul.
I wish a girl were obsessed with me for what I am. For my weaknesses, for my body, for my face... I want to be a girl's entire world, and I want her to be my entire world. So that I could never ever look at this PUTRID FOUL REALITY, WITH ALL OF THE FLESH DEMONS OUTSIDE PUKING OUT BILE AFTER BILE OF NONSENSE AND NONSENSE. I SPIT ON THIS EARTH, I SPIT ON FUCKING EVERYONE WHO GOES AGAINST ME!
