I am tired of this gay existence, every living moment is physical and emotional pain, even my dreams are suifuel. I was born into a shithole in a shithole state in a shithole country, my mother and father's relationship ended early in my life so I never had father. Never learned how to speak properly so I sounded like a 10 year old for my entire life, it was utter hell as everyone swore to humiliate me and bully me for it, including peers. I still suffer from the impediment to this day and has ruined my chances for jobs and making friends. I had a shit mother who neglected me so I was never taught any life skills, just left to rot on my life, everyone laughed at me for not knowing basic skills, everyone hated me because I was introverted, everyone hated me purely for my existence. Everyone bullied me for any reason, being short, speech, face, anything, I would sometimes walk past entire group of people with them laughing at me and calling me a school shooter or worse. Now, late in my teens, I see it all heading to an deadend, I cannot live much longer because my mother is dying, thus no home and income. I never knew what career to choose cos no father, noone with connections to employee, no friends no nothing. I was never a mean person for my life until now, I was generous and compassionate, even when I got my shit kicked in, everyone is so mean and cruel I do not want to be with these animals any longer. If I had a pain free and accessible suicide method, I'll do it.
