H
There aren't enough pretty girls teasing me these days I stay at home and stuff like that
It's hard staying at home no girl touching you and stuff and no one did intentionally touch me, some girls would come near me crouch and act as if we were dating, I'm not that tall I'm average height, and look I know she wasn't serious she was obviously not attracted to me I'm not attractive as well but these small experiences always seem to get you even while you're aware of what happened and how evil someone is, you still wanna stick with them and be attracted to them and want more.
I guess the real blackpill is she treats me as dispensable and maybe she's right; I am dispensable, but whatever wanted to vent cause I'm feeling a huge crush right now imagining her, we're now far apart I can't even look at her, she's gone with the flow and I arrived safely from hell to hell, I have no clue what I'll do with my life, I used to be ambitious but as you get older you know the extent to which people are better than you and I don't know when I was younger... like people clown me for saying I loved getting beaten up and so on, now I don't even know what I like.
The life update is, I currently can't even workout, I'll probably play soccer in my basement for a while today, but other than that I don't know what to do.
You know, the blackpill is really hard to deal with everyday, I always live with the awareness whatever I do is not permanent and is gonna vanish, I just feel like shit.
I didn't think this way 5 years ago, 6 years ago, 2 or 3 or a year ago, right now I'm living with intense jealousy of others, you have no clue how jealous I am, I'm going crazy and I don't think I actually like anyone in this world I keep feeling some weird thing on my chest as if something's missing: All I remember is my phone because I can't really jerk off right now but other than that, nowadays I'm not even excited when browsing stories on this forum, it's literally so boring nothing excites me..
It's just crazy nothing excites me anymore, I also think I'm useless and goodbye, oh my goodness what's going on with my brain..
It's hard staying at home no girl touching you and stuff and no one did intentionally touch me, some girls would come near me crouch and act as if we were dating, I'm not that tall I'm average height, and look I know she wasn't serious she was obviously not attracted to me I'm not attractive as well but these small experiences always seem to get you even while you're aware of what happened and how evil someone is, you still wanna stick with them and be attracted to them and want more.
I guess the real blackpill is she treats me as dispensable and maybe she's right; I am dispensable, but whatever wanted to vent cause I'm feeling a huge crush right now imagining her, we're now far apart I can't even look at her, she's gone with the flow and I arrived safely from hell to hell, I have no clue what I'll do with my life, I used to be ambitious but as you get older you know the extent to which people are better than you and I don't know when I was younger... like people clown me for saying I loved getting beaten up and so on, now I don't even know what I like.
The life update is, I currently can't even workout, I'll probably play soccer in my basement for a while today, but other than that I don't know what to do.
You know, the blackpill is really hard to deal with everyday, I always live with the awareness whatever I do is not permanent and is gonna vanish, I just feel like shit.
I didn't think this way 5 years ago, 6 years ago, 2 or 3 or a year ago, right now I'm living with intense jealousy of others, you have no clue how jealous I am, I'm going crazy and I don't think I actually like anyone in this world I keep feeling some weird thing on my chest as if something's missing: All I remember is my phone because I can't really jerk off right now but other than that, nowadays I'm not even excited when browsing stories on this forum, it's literally so boring nothing excites me..
It's just crazy nothing excites me anymore, I also think I'm useless and goodbye, oh my goodness what's going on with my brain..
