What started me into this was ironically goblin slayer, i was looking at goblin slayer about age of 9-10 and i was on youtube for more types and then i found berserk and baki, i went to watch berserk first and binged it, then baki and ive read the mangas for both and then i moved onto stuff like sunkenrock, origin, the breaker, kengan, jojo and other goyslop there was with a hyper masculine male character who is still sort of good looking, watching training arcs did make me a bit more self conscious about trying to work for my body even though i had always had motor control issues likely due to autism (its ovER), idk about you guys but if you get to see how useless all the effort you put into something only to realize people will always mog you in some way even in effort it felt pointless to me aswell as having myself non helpful parents who always advise me to do something that ruins my progress and i eventually succumbed to being fatter, but the rage fuel came from when i was watching the red pilled shit anime baki in school and people were calling me g8y and f8ggot aswell as asking me how would i be able to fight when i look so nerdy, it was like they said i dont have any physical advantages or skills/battle iq from lack of experience and i couldnt get into any martial arts programs due to money so i basically spent most of covid on roblox or games with fighting using the anime characters, was a waste of my time because i have to keep playing it or it feels like all the time i put in was wasted only for me to waste even more time, as im receiving more and more stress because its not like im winning all the time due to other autists, i dont know what im supposed to do about my wasted brain space where i memorized most of the characters and skills not including combos in the games and stuff because now that my brain is catching up to my insane amount of space used i feel as though maybe coulda gotten a gf despite being ugly due to just be first but i was high inhib + this autism despite me actually watching hamza and tate where i shoulda gotten a gf but watching videos of con artists wont fix my mental state where i look in the mirror and realize its ovER because i look worse than most notable incel figures, dont quote me on this but i couldve had a bettER life had i erased red pilled tranime except the good ones like berserk
