Before 18 years old, I used to be full of ambition and I was never depressed or stressed, my existence used to be bliss, music used to be euphoric, and Life was ecstatic. and no I never had a girlfriend, and I still was KHHV.
my life came downhill after I discovered masturbation and orgasmed for the first time at the age of 18, yes I know it is extremely uncommon and maybe considered weird to be this old and never experience this primal thing, it is baffling to me and tbh I consider myself lucky for that, before the age of 18 I was completely and utterly oblivious of my surrounding(regarding sex), never had the urge to socialize and converse with the opposite sex. after discovering masturbation started doing it multiple times a day, for years. never realized but, slowly but surely they were destroying me, stripping me from my joy, Ignorance is truly bliss. after years of abusing the living shit of my dick and bombarding my dopamine receptors with cheap trash dopamine, I become an extremely cold-blooded mother fucker with numbed pleasure response. contemplating suicide becomes normal.
my life become extremely unsatisfying and downright torture, I never in my wildest dreams thought my life would be destroyed in such fashion. but am trying and still trying, I tried nofap more than 40+ times, and my longest streak is 26 days, I want my energy back more than anything, fuck everything just my energy, I rather die than be docile mindless sheep. at least I can monyemaxx if I have the energy, I used to be relentless mf, I never gave up easily, living in 3rd world is no joke and I did crazy shit that most can't even fathom, driven by the right hormonal and neurochemical balance. one thing is for sure I don't want to live and continue like this always had an all-or-nothing mind, I rather die now than slowly rot. and I don't want to look back at 40 years old and regrate for the wasted potential.
my life came downhill after I discovered masturbation and orgasmed for the first time at the age of 18, yes I know it is extremely uncommon and maybe considered weird to be this old and never experience this primal thing, it is baffling to me and tbh I consider myself lucky for that, before the age of 18 I was completely and utterly oblivious of my surrounding(regarding sex), never had the urge to socialize and converse with the opposite sex. after discovering masturbation started doing it multiple times a day, for years. never realized but, slowly but surely they were destroying me, stripping me from my joy, Ignorance is truly bliss. after years of abusing the living shit of my dick and bombarding my dopamine receptors with cheap trash dopamine, I become an extremely cold-blooded mother fucker with numbed pleasure response. contemplating suicide becomes normal.
my life become extremely unsatisfying and downright torture, I never in my wildest dreams thought my life would be destroyed in such fashion. but am trying and still trying, I tried nofap more than 40+ times, and my longest streak is 26 days, I want my energy back more than anything, fuck everything just my energy, I rather die than be docile mindless sheep. at least I can monyemaxx if I have the energy, I used to be relentless mf, I never gave up easily, living in 3rd world is no joke and I did crazy shit that most can't even fathom, driven by the right hormonal and neurochemical balance. one thing is for sure I don't want to live and continue like this always had an all-or-nothing mind, I rather die now than slowly rot. and I don't want to look back at 40 years old and regrate for the wasted potential.
