shit man
the saddest part about this is that it's not really a consolation because I will probably be punished too, society has made me very bitter, and trust me it took a lot to make me bitter, i used to be bluepilled as fuck and a very nice kid tbh
It is just to be angry at sin and sinful behaviour.In fact,it would be strange and possibly sinful(some philosophers argue) to not be angry in certain situations.i despise this world and the sooner i am out of this hell the better.But i also recgonize that i have sinned and that i must pay.If you have sinned,you will be punished too,but that temporal punishement(assuming you have accepted to repent and follow god) goes with the assumption that whatever you suffer is for the sake of being with god for all eternity(who is infinitely more enjoyable then whatever degenerate dream you have in your mind).
i sometimes wish i was a kid.Back then my parents hadn't divorced and sometimes we would get these happy moments where the entire family was together and those simple gatherings and simple conversations brought me so much joy,that i would only understand how valuable they are when they were gone.life as an incel is a sad thing
By what you say I assume you are religious. Has it helped you ease the pain?
yes,it has eased a lot of pain.Nihilism is a burden that most "nihilists" prefer to ignore.if half of them were left alone for 5 minutes to comtemplate death and eternal nothigness they would shit their pants in a matter of seconds.And that isn't even half of what needs to be comteplated when one takes nihilism seriously.
Now when it comes to inceldom,obviously i am still the same,but sometimes i am given the amazing grace of just comteplating god and reading good spiritual works(sometimes it's philosophy),and so i am able to forget that women exist.But that happens extremely rarely and most of the time i am left in this horrible state,where i can't do anything about my inceldom but i also can't forget women exist.It's much frustration and anger,that sometimes you feel like cutting your genitals in hopes of ending this horrible fucking feeling but the pain that i would get would be too great and i doubt it would actually curb my lust.
it also doesn't help that i have run out of copes(barely anything satisfies me),and the copes that i would like to try and see remain out of my reach(e.g i would like to learn music but can't for a million reasons),so i can't even distract myself well.
But one thing.I do err and sadly commit sins,so there is a great chance that i would be able to stay out of this horrible sea of frustration,sadness and anger,if i just acted right(gods mercy is great),but alas i am extremely weak.
life is a sad thing.