LDAR I tried to change, exercise and stuff, but quickly ran out of motivation and excitement.

SlutLiberationFront

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The title says it all. Few months ago, I got ready to exercise.
I was sleeping on time and waking up on time. I started lifting, doing push ups, walking, running, and etc. Many people recommend it, well, so I tried. They said it would distract me.
Well, it turns out it didn't work.
"BUT YOU DID NOT TRY FOR LONG ENOUGH TO SEE ANY RESULT!!!" Yes, you are right, you have to do it with a passion for a long time to see real results and get motivated by the progression, and achieving the small goals you set.

Time passed, and I did not want to do it anymore. My chronic lung disease does not allow me to breathe properly so exercising and getting tired in need of air is a nightmare. I was trying my best, taking breaks and stuff, to take energy up, and then would get back to the exercises. I followed a strict routine but it was just further draining my sanity. The difficulty to breathe was insane. I always had difficulty breathing because of a chronic disease I didn't FUCKING ASK TO BE BORN WITH is always making my life hell. Sometimes I feel an intense lack of oxygen even if I am not doing anything, and my mom would have to rush to me with a nebulizer before I would pass out of suffocation. It has happened millions of times in my life, and it sucks so much.

More time into it, I was willing less and less to continue with it. I had no motivation to do anything anymore. The things that used to make me happy the most are not useless. The only thin I have is some weird nostalgia for a time I've never lived, miss someone I've never been with, homesick for a place I've never been to. Nothing distracts me from my bad thoughts, especially suicidal thoughts. It is just suicide in my mind 24 hours a day every day and I can't escape from them, along with all the other infinite asbolute clusterfuck of thoughts that flood my mind endlessly.
They said exercise would distract me, make me feel good, and it didn't. I didn't get distracted for a single second. I didn't feel good for a single second.
The only thing that feels good is some casual stretching, and it actually feels nice but it is too limited.

Why are the good things of life so limited while the bad things seem to last for an eternity? Why is the law of the universe that good things last so little? Should not it be the contrary?

I tried exercising for the benefits and the infinite recommendations from so many people, and in the end, it didn't help, just as everything else. I just ended up in the same place I was before.
It's just... so frustrating. I am caught in this feedback loop with no way out. My thoughts don't make sense, I keep wandering all the time involuntarily. I am never there, I am always somewhere else mentally. My thoughts are so foggy, it is like everything is a fever dream I cannot wake up from.
Maybe exercising actually helps people, but as with everything, it does not work with everyone. I just can't get out of where I am, and I am more than tired of being in this state.
I just wake up and stay on the computer until it's time to sleep, every day. The only thing I really take care of is personal hygiene, which as I stated before I take tons of showers a day and brush my teeth at least 5 times a day, apart from that, I do nothing. I just can't.... I can't find the energy, the motivation. It is like trying to stop a 6km long train going at full speed with your bare hands, it's not gonna happen.
At this point, I am convinced I will be forever stuck in this position I find myself in and have been in for at least a whole decade. Only if magic existed, I could at least be someone else and completely forget that I existed.
I bet the people I fondly think of every day and cherish, don't even remember my name. It is like I am a ghost and everyone decided to forget me.
 
overweight

overweight

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im just gonna reply to the thread title

just shame yourself until you feel like shit unless you did some pushups or whatever
 
SlutLiberationFront

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overweight said:
im just gonna reply to the thread title

just shame yourself until you feel like shit unless you did some pushups or whatever
TL;DR: ran out of motivation and my chronic lung disease would not allow me to breathe properly. I always had troubles breating and exercising would just make me want to die and almost pass out trying to breathe.
 
overweight

overweight

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SlutLiberationFront said:
TL;DR: ran out of motivation and my chronic lung disease would not allow me to breathe properly. I always had troubles breating and exercising would just make me want to die and almost pass out trying to breathe.
sucks

had almost a heart attack couple of times when exercising lol
 
Draestyn

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The lack of motivation inceldom brings is brutal
 
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manija2019

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don't lie to me,you don't have motivation cause no gf
 
the virgin shepherd

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Khaplain40KKK

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No exercise for your face.
 
Broly

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no gf=exercise to lose fat and hope for good bones, stop because no motivation, why? because no gf

its comical:feelsclown:
 
Sadandangrycel

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yup been there all pointless without a gf
 
Jungle

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Khaplain40KKK said:
What like exercising the muscles on your face lol?
Losing weight and getting down to 8-12% bf
 
SlutLiberationFront

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Jungle said:
Losing weight and getting down to 8-12% bf
I don't know you guys, but in my case, I am 25kg below the ideal weight for a man my age and height. Things are not looking very good.
 
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Khaplain40KKK said:
There's chubby Chads lol
We're not chads though, so we have to drop down even lower in order to see if we have potential or not
 
Khaplain40KKK

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Jungle said:
We're not chads though, so we have to drop down even lower in order to see if we have potential or not
Fair