I think my time has finally come, I can’t do it anymore

[Fuckmyexistence]

I’ve never felt this low in my life, there’s only so much weed and video games can do at this point, I realised that friendship is impossible to maintain anymore, I only had one good friend, ive stopped talking to him, since hanging out with him exposes me to a level of suifuel that even you Guys couldn’t handle, well, turns out complete and total isolation can do fucked up shit to a man, that constant need to socialise just not being met is fuckig with me, this is what is 100x worse than being a virgin. I’ve decided to go ahead with it, idk how, or when, but it’ll be soon. I don’t want to seek therapy, I really don’t want the attention.

Guys I’m not joking, this isn’t your obligatory “ooh I’m gonna commit” posts, you’ll see. 

If you have any suggestions please leave them, no I’m not gonna go ER, it’s not like I can anyway without a gun. I’ve decided to leave the note for the day, so that if I develop any grudges for anyone I’ll be sure to mention them in my note.

It’s over guys, I was condemned from the moment I was brought into this vile world.

 

[Deleted member 60]

no I’m not gonna go ER

 

[z2020]

How old are you?

 

[Wind]

The sting of social isolation only lasts 2 to 3 years. I'm hikikomori, and by now, I'm used to it. Even when I went to college briefly, I didn't mind being a loner, but in high school, it used to kill me that I only had two friends. My point is that you get over this shit after a few years.

But if you're 100% decided, I recommend jumping off of a tall building. Little chance for survival, and if it's tall enough that you'll be knocked out, so little to no pain.

 

[Fuckmyexistence]

How old are you?

I’m 16, but it doesn’t matter since my grades have plummeted severely, I won’t Be able to do what I wanted to do in life, so I dont even have the opportunity to experience at least some level of fulfilment, don’t look at my age and just scoff, if you spent a day in my shoes by you doing see how i know it’s over

 

[Deleted member 1617]

After the whole @Harvey_Weinstein_Hero drama, we need to see proof if you do go through with it. A name, location, how you will do it etc.

 

[z2020]

I’m 16, but it doesn’t matter since my grades have plummeted severely, I won’t Be able to do what I wanted to do in life, so I dont even have the opportunity to experience at least some level of fulfilment, don’t look at my age and just scoff, if you spent a day in my shoes by you doing see how i know it’s over

I'm approaching 30 and my situation is worse then yours.

- I never had any friends
- Let's not get started on females, most of them would feel subconsciously uncomfortable just talking to me even in a professional setting
- Never had a close family.

Trust me when I say I'm lonely, and I crave socialization more than anyone else but I know I can't have it. Something about me just makes me unlovable. 

My suggestion is that you wait it longer, much longer. Who knows what might happen, you may be able to be happy whilst being lonely and find some hobbies you like doing (and no offence, but there's been so many people on this forum that were 'late bloomers' where they get laid in their early 20's). At 16, you're still growing and your brain has so much yet to develop. If your situation doesn't change in many years from now, then I would understand going sui.

 

[Fuckmyexistence]

After the whole @Harvey_Weinstein_Hero drama, we need to see proof if you do go through with it. A name, location, how you will do it etc.

Absolutely, I haven’t decided on how I will do it yet, but on the day I will reveal my name and address so you can see, I want to be buried next to or near to my dad, I don’t blame my dad for any of this, his half of my genetics have always been the better half anyways

 

[glock17]

no I’m not gonna go ER, it’s not like I can anyway without a gun.

There is othER options.
[video=youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vP6AvHs_JPQ[/video]

 

[Fuckmyexistence]

I'm approaching 30 and my situation is worse then yours.

- I never had any friends
- Let's not get started on females, most of them would feel subconsciously uncomfortable just talking to me even in a professional setting
- Never had a close family.

Trust me when I say I'm lonely, and I crave socialization more than anyone else but I know I can't have it. Something about me just makes me unlovable. 

My suggestion is that you wait it longer, much longer. Who knows what might happen, you may be able to be happy whilst being lonely and find some hobbies you like doing (and no offence, but there's been so many people on this forum that were 'late bloomers' where they get laid in their early 20's). At 16, you're still  growing and your brain has so much yet to develop. If your situation doesn't change in many years from now, then I would understand going sui.

No trust me when I say it’s over, I’ve always been more of a mentalcel tbh, and being rejected from social circles, even the unpopular kids social circle is what hurts the most, I’ve tried to cope, I don’t know how you Guys do it.

---

There is othER options.
[video=youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vP6AvHs_JPQ[/video]

Nope no chance, I’m not exactly a big guy so I can easily be overpowered, arrested and I won’t even get a chance to sui, trust me I’ve thought over it meticulously.

 

[mylifeistrash]

a lot of us are 30+ and are a billion times worse off than you

 

[Deleted member 60]

Nope no chance, I’m not exactly a big guy so I can easily be overpowered, arrested and I won’t even get a chance to sui, trust me I’ve thought over it meticulously.

do you drive?

 

[Fuckmyexistence]

do you drive?

No I’m only 16, never properly driven a car, I see where you’re going with this though, but if I’m gonna go ER id only target people at my school and Not random people on the street, I couldn’t do that.

 

[Jaylen]

I hope this is trolling because you haven’t begun your life yet. Don’t be fucking stupid.

 

[KyloRen]

You're 16. Your brain hasn't fully developed yet. Wait until you're older, then make the decision.

 

[teachercel]

Never sui before 25. Come on dude life can change a LOT between 16 and 25. It could get much better or much worse but still, sui at 16 is a terrible idea.

 

[Fuckmyexistence]

I hope this is trolling because you haven’t begun your life yet. Don’t be fucking stupid.

At the rate at which I’m going I don’t want my life to begin, it absolutely isn’t worth living, I’m dead serious.

 

[Deleted member 60]

No I’m only 16, never properly driven a car

are you serious right now? Bro, your life hasn't even started yet. At least wait until you're in college, ffs

 

[KyloRen]

At the rate at which I’m going I don’t want my life to begin, it absolutely isn’t worth living, I’m dead serious.

Dude. You have so much further opportunities to get laid. You don't know how college will play out. And even then, you don't know how your 20s will be. If you're 35 and still single and no friends, I'd be more sympathetic.

 

[Deleted member 2119]

16 is way too young unless you're a 0/10 deformed burn victim

I have a severe case of depression and I'm not much older than you so I'm probably not the best guy to give advice. But I think you shouldn't kill yourself at that age. Your life can still get better (Puberty isn't even finished)

 

[Fuckmyexistence]

are you serious right now? Bro, your life hasn't even started yet. At least wait until you're in college, ffs

I’ve basically stopped going to school anymore, I’m never gonna make it to college, my grades are fully fucked, my mums literally about to get fined because of me not turning up to school, at least if I sui she won’t have have to the fine I hope.

 

[KyloRen]

I’ve basically stopped going to school anymore, I’m never gonna make it to college, my grades are fully fucked, my mums literally about to get fined because of me not turning up to school, at least if I sui she won’t have have to the fine I hope.

What made you stop going to school?

 

[Fuckmyexistence]

16 is way too young unless you're a 0/10 deformed burn victim

I have a severe case of depression and I'm not much older than you so I'm probably not the best guy to give advice. But I think you shouldn't kill yourself at that age. Your life can still get better (Puberty isn't even finished)

Fuck my life, no one wants me, no one talks to me, no one cares

---

What made you stop going to school?

My dads death I guess, I couldn’t cope, I can’t handle this fucked up mix of isolation, grief, and my GCSEs all at the same time.

 

[KyloRen]

My dads death I guess, I couldn’t cope, I can’t handle this fucked up mix of isolation, grief, and my GCSEs all at the same time.

When did he die? Recently?

 

[Deleted member 60]

I’ve basically stopped going to school anymore, I’m never gonna make it to college, my grades are fully fucked, my mums literally about to get fined because of me not turning up to school, at least if I sui she won’t have have to the fine I hope.

It's too early bro.

 

[Fuckmyexistence]

When did he die? Recently?

3 years ago now, he was the only guy I could really look up to, he died a day after my 13th birthday on the 20th September 2014

 

[DeadInside]

a lot of us are 30+ and are a billion times worse off than you

It's not a competition, most people know they're fucked early on

 

[Deleted member 2119]

Fuck my life, no one wants me, no one talks to me, no one cares

Yeah same I'm basically just like you and also a teen but the damage is still reversible in your case. The generic redpill/bluepill advice can probably work.I know how it feels like to be trapped in a cycle of self destructing thoughts but suicide at your age is not the answer at your age  (As a mentalcel) Is your mental illness a product by your environment?

 

[KyloRen]

3 years ago now, he was the only guy I could really look up to, he died a day after my 13th birthday on the 20th September 2014

Shit, man. I have no fucking idea what you've gone through, nor could I ever imagine feeling that way until it happens to me.

 

[Fuckmyexistence]

It's too early bro.

It’s fucking not, I just wish that there’s some sort of afterlife so I can look down on the world afterI’m gone, see what’s people will say about me, How they will pretend they were my friend and that they knew me, itd be entertaining.

 

[Deleted member 60]

3 years ago now, he was the only guy I could really look up to, he died a day after my 13th birthday on the 20th September 2014

aw man, I don't even know what to say. I'm so sorry for your loss.

 

[Its_OVER]

You're not even done with puberty yet...

 

[nosiB]

This thread is the whining of a child who thinks he's gone through things no one else has. In reality, he is just weak!
According to one of your posts earlier, you've even considering killing others before you take your own life. Pathetic. You don't deserve any sympathy.

 

[Deleted member 2119]

This thread is the whining of a child who thinks he's gone through things no one else has. In reality, he is just weak!
According to one of your posts earlier, you've even considering killing others before you take your own life. Pathetic. You don't deserve any sympathy.

Depression isn't always about how things actually are but how they are processed by your brain.

 

[Jaylen]

I’ve basically stopped going to school anymore, I’m never gonna make it to college, my grades are fully fucked, my mums literally about to get fined because of me not turning up to school, at least if I sui she won’t have have to the fine I hope.

You’re gonna ruin your mother’s life don’t be an asshole. Go back to school or get a job and meet people. You can always go back and get your GED. Your life is not over.

 

[Deleted member 2119]

You’re gonna ruin your mother’s life don’t be an asshole. Go back to school or get a job and meet people. You can always go back and get your GED. Your life is not over.

He has severe self destructing thoughts. There is a thick wall between you and him

 

[Fuckmyexistence]

This thread is the whining of a child who thinks he's gone through things no one else has. In reality, he is just weak!
According to one of your posts earlier, you've even considering killing others before you take your own life. Pathetic. You don't deserve any sympathy.

I’ve never considered killing anyone, I’ve simply thought over the possibilities, every single one of them, over a very long period of time, it’s  not one single factor that has led to this, it’s an a giant mix, well, I guess what you say doesn’t really matter, I’ve made my choice, if you want to give me sympathy then that’s your choice, you think I haven’t tried to Be strong?

 

[DeadInside]

So many fucking bluepilled dicks in this thread treating this kid like shit because he wants out.

 

[Fuckmyexistence]

You’re gonna ruin your mother’s life don’t be an asshole. Go back to school or get a job and meet people. You can always go back and get your GED. Your life is not over.

The only reason I’m still alive is because of her, I couldn’t have been blessed with a better mother, but I’m only a detriment, a parasite, I’m ruining her, She loves me so much but the sooner i get this done with the sooner she can move on.

 

[DeadInside]

I'm so sorry for what you've been through OP, I hope life improves for you and you hold on just a little longer. It's not your fault your circumstances have been cruel.

 

[Deleted member 2119]

So many fucking bluepilled dicks in this thread treating this kid like shit because he wants out.

He claimed that he is a fellow mentalcel and his mental illness is apparently not autism and likely induced  by his environment. I would have said different things if he said that he is a 1.5/10 truecel
He can change

 

[Fuckmyexistence]

I'm so sorry for what you've been through OP, I hope life improves for you and you hold on just a little longer. It's not your fault your circumstances have been cruel.

Nah, this isn’t some random decision I’ve made, this is extremely calculated, I’ve thought about this non stop, I’ve concluded that there can’t Be a Change in sight that can improve my situation, it’s done, the area im from makes this worse, east London was always a death sentence for someone like me.

 

[platypus]

You're 16. Your brain hasn't fully developed yet. Wait until you're older, then make the decision.

Yeah. I wonder how much weed interferes with the developing brain.

How the hell can you make life and death decisions at that age while keeping your brain constantly fucked with weed?

 

[DeadInside]

So many fucking bluepilled dicks in this thread treating this kid like shit because he wants out.

He claimed that he is a fellow mentalcel and his mental illness is apparently not autism or and likely induced by his environment. I would have said different things if he said that he is a 1.5/10 truecel
He can change

Yeah, he can change, but that doesn't mean he deserves the cold and bitter approach everyone is giving to his mental illnesses. Personally, my teenage years (14-16 especially) were the worst shit I've been through.

---

I'm so sorry for what you've been through OP, I hope life improves for you and you hold on just a little longer. It's not your fault your circumstances have been cruel.

Nah, this isn’t some random decision I’ve made, this is extremely calculated, I’ve thought about this non stop, I’ve concluded that there can’t Be a Change in sight that can improve my situation, it’s done, the area im from makes this worse, east London was always a death sentence for someone like me.

Look, I know it feels that way but please at least wait until adulthood, a lot can figure itself out at times.

 

[Jaylen]

The only reason I’m still alive is because of her, I couldn’t have been blessed with a better mother, but I’m only a detriment, a parasite, I’m ruining her, She loves me so much but the sooner i get this done with the sooner she can move on.

She’s not gonna move on. My grandmas son was killed when he was only 21. She never moved on, it ruined her life and she cried every night for years and she still not the same after 20 years. It’s worse in your case because if you suicide she’s gonna blame herself and that’s fucked up.

 

[Deleted member 2119]

Yeah, he can change, but that doesn't mean he deserves the cold and bitter approach everyone is giving to his mental illnesses. Personally, my teenage years (14-16 especially) were the worst shit I've been through.

I thought you meant advice in general. (Your comment sounded like that you are encouraging him to sui from my point of view). I notice the same self destructing thought patterns that I have and it's important to stop them. Telling him to wait until he is 35 or that it's not over because of his age is a great way of positive reinforcement.

 

[DeadInside]

Yeah, he can change, but that doesn't mean he deserves the cold and bitter approach everyone is giving to his mental illnesses. Personally, my teenage years (14-16 especially) were the worst shit I've been through.

I thought you meant advice in general. (Your comment sounded like that you are encouraging him to sui from my point of view). I notice the same self destructing thought patterns that I have and it's important to stop them. Telling him to wait or that it's not over because of his age is a great way of positive reinforcement.

I agree. I'm just pissed off at the people saying his struggles are nothing simply because of his age.

 

[Fuckmyexistence]

She’s not gonna move on. My grandmas son was killed when he was only 21. She never moved on, it ruined her life and she cried every night for years and she still not the same after 20 years. It’s worse in your case because if you suicide she’s gonna blame herself and that’s fucked up.

Nah I’ll dedicate a paragraph just for her in my note so she know she she’s been nothing but a positive thing in my life, I’ll try my best to Ease it for her, it’s hard, but I can’t help it, I need to die.

 

[not_here_4_points]

Don't die without Christ. https://www.gotquestions.org/how-can-I-be-saved.html

 

[Fuckmyexistence]

Yeah. I wonder how much weed interferes with the developing brain.

How the hell can you make life and death decisions at that age while keeping your brain constantly fucked with weed?

Weed has helped me massively, one of the best copes by far, I only smoke it occasionally, I don’t have the money to buy it all the time, I encourage everyone to try it