Brutal I think I'd be too afraid to ask most people I know if they consider us friends

[Hoppipolla]

Some I think they'd say yes. But many I just don't know so I'd rather keep them as Schrödinger's friend and never ask them, lol

 

[unban Tax 2]

I only have 1 friend that would say yes.

 

[Cincel]

I don't have friends at all. People hates so am I

 

[Animecel2D]

I only have enemies

 

[weaselbomber]

When I was a kid I would easily attach to anyone who showed me an ounce of kindness. A lot of people I thought were friends were just being cordial to strangers as most people often are, and when I had to face that reality I barely could handle it.
These days I'm much more closed off. I feel as if people are more real on the Internet. They will just call you a stupid nigger if they don't like you, since there's no need for the usual civility found IRL

 

[bathlete]

got no schrodinky pals

 

[Hoppipolla]

When I was a kid I would easily attach to anyone who showed me an ounce of kindness. A lot of people I thought were friends were just being cordial to strangers as most people often are, and when I had to face that reality I barely could handle it.
These days I'm much more closed off. I feel as if people are more real on the Internet. They will just call you a stupid nigger if they don't like you, since there's no need for the usual civility found IRL

That's interesting yeah.

I played Roblox for a while. EVERYBODY on there wants to be your friend. Everybody on there wants to be everybody's friend! lol

It's just the way young people are I think, but yeah the friendships might be more fleeting I guess. Personally I prefer that attitude though as being an extrovert it's more like how my own mind works.

I think most people lose that nature by about 20. People also seem to change a lot between 17 and 23 roughly, and around 23 is when most of my old friends "grew apart from me", which sucked.

 

[weaselbomber]

I played Roblox for a while. EVERYBODY on there wants to be your friend. Everybody on there wants to be everybody's friend! lol

It's just the way young people are I think, but yeah the friendships might be more fleeting I guess. Personally I prefer that attitude though as being an extrovert it's more like how my own mind works.

Can't say I know much about how people behave on Roblox, since what I'm talking off is based off of slightly more older people tbqh

 

[NIGGER BOJANGLES]

When I was a kid I would easily attach to anyone who showed me an ounce of kindness. A lot of people I thought were friends were just being cordial to strangers as most people often are, and when I had to face that reality I barely could handle it.
These days I'm much more closed off. I feel as if people are more real on the Internet. They will just call you a stupid nigger if they don't like you, since there's no need for the usual civility found IRL

Brutal. I never deluded myself into thinking acquaintances were friends after elementary school. But back then I thought I had 10 friends when in reality none of them probably ever considered me a friend.

When 6th grade started, they all made it obvious they weren’t my friends

 

[weaselbomber]

Brutal. I never deluded myself into thinking acquaintances were friends after elementary school. But back then I thought I had 10 friends when in reality none of them probably ever considered me a friend.

When 6th grade started, they all made it obvious they weren’t my friends

I kept deluding myself, including in regards to bullying (the old "they're laughing with me, not at me" meme) until I had an anxiety attack in the middle of class, and frankly elementary schoolers are FAR more nasty than high schoolers since teenagers at least will hold back to talk shit about someone when they're not around, so it was pretty terrible. My only actual friend moved away and I spent my last two years completely alone.

 

[NIGGER BOJANGLES]

I kept deluding myself, including in regards to bullying (the old "they're laughing with me, not at me" meme) until I had an anxiety attack in the middle of class, and frankly elementary schoolers are FAR more nasty than high schoolers since teenagers at least will hold back to talk shit about someone when they're not around, so it was pretty terrible. My only actual friend moved away and I spent my last two years completely alone.

Brutal shit man, I had similar experiences but after elementary school never lived in delusion. I hope your parents are good to you at least

 

[NIGGER BOJANGLES]

I kept deluding myself, including in regards to bullying (the old "they're laughing with me, not at me" meme) until I had an anxiety attack in the middle of class, and frankly elementary schoolers are FAR more nasty than high schoolers since teenagers at least will hold back to talk shit about someone when they're not around, so it was pretty terrible. My only actual friend moved away and I spent my last two years completely alone.

IMO, middle schoolers were the worst of all. Elementary schoolers were still kids with less potential to be rotten and high schoolers were more civilized. Middle school was the worst middle ground ever and I was constantly teased for being skinny and my bad jaw.

After puberty I got a lot bigger and my jaw improved a bit, and the bullying stopped because they realized I wasn’t as easy of a target

 

[Ahnfeltia]

I'm pretty sure the guys I refer to as friends on here would call me a friend as well, so I guess that makes my answer a "no"

Schrödinger's friend

nice turn of phrase

 

[weaselbomber]

Brutal shit man, I had similar experiences but after elementary school never lived in delusion. I hope your parents are good to you at least

It was pretty bad when I was growing up but now they're chill. being post-menopause does crazy things to schizo neurotic women

IMO, middle schoolers were the worst of all. Elementary schoolers were still kids with less potential to be rotten and high schoolers were more civilized. Middle school was the worst middle ground ever and I was constantly teased for being skinny and my bad jaw.

After puberty I got a lot bigger and my jaw improved a bit, and the bullying stopped because they realized I wasn’t as easy of a target

both elementary and middle school sucked for me. I spent most of it alone and I had another anxiety attack in class, and people reacted just as bad. Unironically I stopped being bullied because the "leader" genuinely felt pity for me lol
only in HS did I learn how to control myself

 

[Emba]

If you have to ask

Then the answer is no

 

[Hoppipolla]

If you have to ask

Then the answer is no

One interesting point is... what IS a friend? Like... does a friend mean you care about someone?

It's a strange thing isn't it. When you start breaking these terms down they do become a bit nebulous. Even girlfriend or boyfriend. Lots of people have open relationships so it doesn't even necessarily mean commitment apparently.

 

[Hoppipolla]

I also think that as people get older they tend to form looser connections with others in an attempt to limit emotional pain if it breaks apart, and so as to not expend too much emotional energy on it.

It reminds of me of the Radiohead song "Fitter. Happier."

Particularly the line "Fond but not in love."

 

[FreeCipher]

If you have to ask

Then the answer is no

good point if you're truly friends with someone then you'll both know it. it's over if you have to ask. I remember asking this one kid at my school "are we friends", he answered "yes" but I knew deep down he was lying.

 

[Emba]

One interesting point is... what IS a friend? Like... does a friend mean you care about someone?

It's a strange thing isn't it. When you start breaking these terms down they do become a bit nebulous. Even girlfriend or boyfriend. Lots of people have open relationships so it doesn't even necessarily mean commitment apparently.

I figure a fren is someone that likes you for being you.

Urban and country folks are different kinds of frens.

Urban, will open up and tell you deeper stuff than a country fren.

Country frens are very shallow because if the fren ship breaks, you'll have less info-ammo to use against them. Mainly because they are more static and never move around.

A urban guy figures that his frens are more temporary. Hence the deeper knowledge shared....

 

[Hoppipolla]

I figure a fren is someone that likes you for being you.

That's a pretty good way of putting it!

I do feel like some people make it very clear they see you as a friend and value you.

The sad thing is with age I've started to naturally keep distance from others probably to avoid getting hurt, but then you end up missing real connections.

Urban and country folks are different kinds of frens.

Urban, will open up and tell you deeper stuff than a country fren.

Country frens are very shallow because if the fren ship breaks, you'll have less info-ammo to use against them. Mainly because they are more static and never move around.

A urban guy figures that his frens are more temporary. Hence the deeper knowledge shared....

Hm maybe so! But then a country friend might feel unfulfilling and an urban friend might feel fleeting >.<

 

[BPmonk]

Truth.

The few people I would consider “friends” already have their own best friends

 

[Hoppipolla]

Truth.

The few people I would consider “friends” already have their own best friends

It's difficult for sure.

I do think it's an age thing to some degree though. Kids and teens tend to be much more emotionally warm in this way I think. It's a shame that adults can be so cold.

 

[Emba]

That's a pretty good way of putting it!

I do feel like some people make it very clear they see you as a friend and value you.

I agree

The sad thing is with age I've started to naturally keep distance from others probably to avoid getting hurt, but then you end up missing real connections.

Also agree. It's harder to reach out because it's usually not worth it. Most of my closer frens in my older years, were very random...

Such as the old moonshiner dude, and the local bootlegger - sadly both dead. );;;

Hm maybe so! But then a country friend might feel unfulfilling and an urban friend might feel fleeting >.<

I never felt that way, about urban frens, until after an absence from them. Such as multi months/ years of work elsewhere... Then you can tell it's not "as solid" as before.

My country frens while shallow, are fairly ok with long absences.

Either way, frens are an investment of time. And these days everyone's time is pretty full. Mostly trying to survive, or just being a phone-y (social media fraudster. "I'm famous on TicToc!");