The longer I wait, the more I want my first time to be special
Its a hard life being illogical, the longer I waited and the more I saw how insignificant a "first time" is as I got more and more black pilled, the less I cared about it being "special". I just went and paid a whore and you know what, makes no difference, because guess whats next on your mind after your first time........... the second time......... and the third time, and so on and so forth.
You are thinking in a box, the "virgin mindset", it isn't special, you just only think it is because you've never had it, and once you've had it you'll realize that the yearning that you thought was for
ONE SPECIAL MOMENT is actually a
PERPETUAL YEARNING THAT NEVER ENDS.
Your body wants the second time to be better, and the third time to be better than that, etc. Also your first time isn't even your best time, especially for women with the whole breaking hymen thing and the first pains of sex. Just realized while writing this that in a sense, thinking of the first time of sex being "special" is a very "male thing" because the experience from our perspective is just 100% pleasure, for women its like they are a new car with stiff handling being "broken in" and then they "get used to it"
The "it must be special" mindset is egotistical and ironically just you cucking yourself, if you die a virgin then that's your fault, you could have simply stopped losing to your own ego and paid for it, any incel that won't escortcel is volcel in my book. If you don't have the means and know how then I'd understand, but if its just you saying "Well I'm me, and since I'm so great I clearly deserve a special first time" then fuck off, you're holding yourself back, get over yourself.
You are reminding me a lot of my incel in denial friend (still a virgin), the night I went out to pay for sex, I told him what I was planning and invited him to come, he denied for what amounts to the same reason, even though he didn't explicitly say this I could tell this was why by what he said and how he acted, he was one of those guys waiting for that "special time", he also wants to get married and have children one day.
