I put so much effort into things other people barely have to try

[Tenshi]

It's funny to think about it, isn't it? How far I've come? How much I've improved myself over the years... Yet, I never really saw the results. Some glimpses of hope here and there, that in any ways were up to the amount of energy that was put into it, followed by terribly hurtful outcomes.

Yet, you look around. Do you think other people are out there thinking about self-improvement? Do you think normies need to "try" to get a girlfriend? God only knows how hard I try, but to then, it just happens. It's no active move.

I'm pretty sure the average guy can't even fathom going through the things I went through. All the rejections, the breakdowns, the unbearable lonely nights, the excruciating pain and the deep desire to disappear completely.

Yet, most of then have had girlfriends. I can look back in my life and the only constant in all those years is the crippling loneliness always by my side. I lay in my bad and feel the pain and I remember that 5, 10 years ago that exact same thing was happening. I go through this rollercoast of emotions and in the end it doesn't even matter, I end up in the same place, alone.

It's foolish to think things are gonna change from now on, when they didn't after all those years.

 

[Deleted member 19858]

genetics will always trump effort, we're all dealt a set of cards at birth, some get lucky some dont

 

[SlutLiberationFront]

That's what I call a loop. It's an endless cycle.

 

[SlutLiberationFront]

Came back here to say that this is one of the realest and saddest threads in this forum despite being so brief and simple, as it resonates with my entire life.
I look back to years and years ago... and I was in the same place, same thoughts, same isolation, same suicidal ideation, same loneliness, same cravings for a life that I will never have, same dreams every night and waking up from them, almost tearing realising that I am waking up alone in my bed, and the only thing that is here to keep me sane and distracted, able to give me interaction is my computer.

This short, brief, simple thread resonates my whole life, the endless loop I've been living in for more than half of my life. Every day is the same day, every morning, every night... every day I go through the same feelings draining my soul from my body causing a pain that transcends the physical realm. It's not something that is purely in our heads, it is caused by this world, this merciless world that created the hell and nightmare that is unfortunately our reality.

Meanwhile, other people's lives and routine are our fantasy, our deepest wishes that will never come true unless miracles would magically exist and attend our desires.

We live some people's nightmare, and they life our dreams.
Meanwhile, when we sleep, we are either tormented by dreadful nightmares or heavenly dreams we wish we would have never woke up from, while other people have a nightmare and wake up to their heavenly reality that we can only imagine what feels like.
They can't imagine or comprehend our pain, and we can't imagine the happiness and fulfillment of their complete emotional lives.

They wouldn't stand a day in our lives dealing with all our pains that are come from the very essence that makes us human, while we would be eternally grateful for having the opportunity to live a fulfilled life with dreams and all we ever desired for happiness, even if we were to die in our mid 20s.

 

[Nemesis]

Don't froget, that n0rmie woud still make laught of you besides what youd do. They are shit

 

[Tenshi]

Came back here to say that this is one of the realest and saddest threads in this forum despite being so brief and simple, as it resonates with my entire life.
I look back to years and years ago... and I was in the same place, same thoughts, same isolation, same suicidal ideation, same loneliness, same cravings for a life that I will never have, same dreams every night and waking up from them, almost tearing realising that I am waking up alone in my bed, and the only thing that is here to keep me sane and distracted, able to give me interaction is my computer.

This short, brief, simple thread resonates my whole life, the endless loop I've been living in for more than half of my life. Every day is the same day, every morning, every night... every day I go through the same feelings draining my soul from my body causing a pain that transcends the physical realm. It's not something that is purely in our heads, it is caused by this world, this merciless world that created the hell and nightmare that is unfortunately our reality.

Meanwhile, other people's lives and routine are our fantasy, our deepest wishes that will never come true unless miracles would magically exist and attend our desires.

We live some people's nightmare, and they life our dreams.
Meanwhile, when we sleep, we are either tormented by dreadful nightmares or heavenly dreams we wish we would have never woke up from, while other people have a nightmare and wake up to their heavenly reality that we can only imagine what feels like.
They can't imagine or comprehend our pain, and we can't imagine the happiness and fulfillment of their complete emotional lives.

They wouldn't stand a day in our lives dealing with all our pains that are come from the very essence that makes us human, while we would be eternally grateful for having the opportunity to live a fulfilled life with dreams and all we ever desired for happiness, even if we were to die in our mid 20s.

Appreciate the fact you were able to relate to this brocel, although not something I'd wish you to, unfortunately. As you can see our lives here in this forum seem to be somehow similar in these aspects.

We're living in such different realities compared to the average person, you might as well say we're from different planets. It's just not possible for these people to understand it.

Even the ones who are supposedly depressed, they don't know a tenth of it. You can be depressed, but this constant misery, pain, hopelessness and voidness... Nah, you can only understand this when you go through hell from the start, to the point you really never experienced anything else but pain. The pain is now part of you. I have no doubt, the average person simply wouldn't be able to cope with this for a day, they'd kill themselves. Which is the most natural reaction to this, no human is meant to live this way and know this much about its own hopelessness. The fact we have endure this for years, decades is disturbing itself.

They have no clue about how dark it can really get...

 

[Deleted member 34301]

We spend effort on self improving because we are honest. Normies have too large egos for that and therefore it's easier for them to just tell lies and believe in other normies' lies.