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LifeFuel i often daydream about committing suicide and some schizophrenic imaginary friend serialkillermaxxing in GTA to avenge me

E

Edmund_Kemper

Disregard my larping efforts. I can’t change it.
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Joined
Sep 26, 2019
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i always have to daydream about my suicide because i think about it all the time. about people knowing that i killed myself. now i imagine having some best friend (who doesn't exist) who is schizophrenic and upon learning about my death, he mourns me. He then begins to have voices in his head telling him to kill all the people who caused my problems in life along with killing the sexhavers in minecraft.

He's at my grave and shedding tears, and a few days later of struggling to sleep at night, he has voices in his head where he hears my voice and hears me telling him to avenge me, and he thinks it's me. he then becomes a serial killer. he walks into a university and infiltrates a frat house or sorority house, and as the chad and stacy engage in foreplay and are about to have intercourse, he appears suddenly and kills them both in Call of Duty. They are horrified and are all "WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU? GIVE US A CHANCE TO LIVE!!" and he responds: "What about my friend who killed himself?! Did he ever get a chance to live?!"

He then sees a couple taking a walk, holding hands: He sneaks up behind them following them with baby steps to be silent. He grabs two knives in each hand and stabs them to death in The Legend of Zelda Ocarina of Time. He kills a bunch of other people in minecraft, with his last victim he says: "this is for my friend who killed himself. all you happy people who live life with cheat codes on are gonna pay. It's people like you who fucked up his life!"

He then discovers a space colony in outerspace with a weapon capable of destroying an entire planet. As he prepares the weapon, he says to himself: "My friend is right. These humans are fucked up, gutless evil creatures. They only do good deeds because they're taught to. They're the same people who would've obeyed hitler out of fear. They don't care about others and do anything to improve Earth. They're gonna pay, pay with their lives for what they have done! This is your last time to exist. Say your prayers you disgusting humans!". He then sends a call to the entire human race, playing on intercoms in cities across the world. "To all humans, your time's up. All of you will be destroyed, along with your shitty planet Earth. All of you fucked up humans who destroyed my friend will feel my loss and despair." The weapon fires and annihilates the human race in Sonic Adventure 2.

@JosefMengelecel @Total Imbecile thoughts?
 
The end was weird, but the first two paragraphs were kind of nice. Sounds like a decent story for a movie.
 
I also fantasize about becomming an LDAR radicalist and hang out with the homeless bums that I pass by at the train station, once I enter the train for my 1 hour ride to my wagecage (fml) I fantasize about jumping on the railways. This continues until the second I enter the door at work to act normie.

2 months ago the train actually stopped since someone from the local nut house commited suicide this way, never had this happen before. I cost me 1,5 hours since they had to clean up the rails and I had to work longer on friday. So fuck that schizo. Yet I would rather jump on the track when its 5PM and the normies want to get home. Since that day I think a lot about death by train a lot. Before that I only wanted to either schoot myself or gas myself with helium.
 
As the first guy said, the first part was decent but the part about him going to a space colony is very unrealistic. But if that part was omitted it would be a quite a sight to behold
 
As the first guy said, the first part was decent but the part about him going to a space colony is very unrealistic. But if that part was omitted it would be a quite a sight to behold
if it did happen, the first part, that would be fucking awesome in minecraft. imagine having a friend who cares about you so much that after you die, he kills for you in GTA. he kills all the people who hurt incels in minecraft.
Speaking of GTA i made this video

View: https://youtu.be/mhVkvZeevLg

based video
 
Ngl ive had this daydream before. Although I daydream about killing sexhavERs in minecraft all the time.
 
Ngl ive had this daydream before. Although I daydream about killing sexhavERs in minecraft all the time.
You daydreamed about committing suicide and someone avenging you by killing sexhavers?
 
if it did happen, the first part, that would be fucking awesome in minecraft. imagine having a friend who cares about you so much that after you die, he kills for you in GTA. he kills all the people who hurt incels in minecraft.
He would be a true hERo
 
I thought this daydream was lame at first but I realized Dimitri literally did this in Fire Emblem Three Houses. He lost his father, his stepmom and his friend Glenn before his very eyes and was so traumatised he swore to avenge the dead by snapping and becoming beast like. Ofc he gets to be a generic hero later because power of friendship but that section of the game was pure kino.

Version without all that gay shit from a video game: your daydream is cool. Revenge is kino most of the time.
 
Everyday I dream ending many sexhavers lives in GTA 5. Revenge. Then my own.
 
JFL the more I read the more schizo it gets

I also fantasize about suicide daily but I realize that nobody owuld care, I fantasize about having a gf and her cheating on me and I kill myself because I dont wanna be alone agian and she feels guilty becasue of it
 
JFL the more I read the more schizo it gets

I also fantasize about suicide daily but I realize that nobody owuld care, I fantasize about having a gf and her cheating on me and I kill myself because I dont wanna be alone agian and she feels guilty becasue of it
The last thing you mentioned fantasizing about is perfect revenge against a woman who dumps you
 
The last thing you mentioned fantasizing about is perfect revenge against a woman who dumps you

Only if its a murder suicide

If you just kill yourself youre doing her a favor

She will just post on reddit "my ex killed himself because I cheated on him, am I to blame?"

And redditors will tell her "no hes an asshole for doing that to you"
 
Only if its a murder suicide

If you just kill yourself youre doing her a favor

She will just post on reddit "my ex killed himself because I cheated on him, am I to blame?"

And redditors will tell her "no hes an asshole for doing that to you"
AITA is a stupid sub. they think 12 year olds using sex toys and watching porn is ok but a 20 year old dating a 40 year old is bad.
 
I think Halo is a pretty cool guy. Eh kills aleins and doesnt afraid of anything.
 
Do you like korn?
Not nearly as much as Silverchair but I do. I like the super low dropped tuning they use. Also, their guitarist converted to Christianity.
 
Not nearly as much as Silverchair but I do. I like the super low dropped tuning they use. Also, their guitarist converted to Christianity.
what about creed?
 
what about creed?
I still know how to play their most famous song on the guitar to this day, JFL. But I didn't like them nearly as much tbh. It's not horrible or anything though, just kinda bland.
 
I still know how to play their most famous song on the guitar to this day, JFL. But I didn't like them nearly as much tbh. It's not horrible or anything though, just kinda bland.
you'll like their first album my own prison. definitely worth checking out. very grungy
 
you'll like their first album my own prison. definitely worth checking out. very grungy
I'll give it a listen.

I like grunge a lot but not all bands. It's trick to define grunge anyway, Pearl Jam doesn't sound that much grungy to me for instance.
 
I'll give it a listen.

I like grunge a lot but not all bands. It's trick to define grunge anyway, Pearl Jam doesn't sound that much grungy to me for instance.
pearl jam sounds more like classic rock than grunge anyway. Their song "Go" is definitely grungy though. "Spin the Black Circle" is more hardcore punk than grunge and sounds like dead kennedys.

i never understood why bush was labeled post-grunge and not grunge. they aren't from seattle and arrived after kurt died, but so did silverchair, an australian band who arrived just a couple months after bush. but silverchair are labeled grunge. besides, bush sound just like nirvana, and sound nothing like creed, nickelback, staind, three doors down etc. so idk how bush is post-grunge instead of grunge.
 
i never understood why bush was labeled post-grunge and not grunge. they aren't from seattle and arrived after kurt died, but so did silverchair, an australian band who arrived just a couple months after bush. but silverchair are labeled grunge. besides, bush sound just like nirvana, and sound nothing like creed, nickelback, staind, three doors down etc. so idk how bush is post-grunge instead of grunge.
But Silverchair is usually labelled post-grunge as well. Kurt Cobain's death is basically considered the death of grunge as well, so all grungy bands which appeared after that are considered post-grunge.

I don't like Bush much. As for Pearl Jam, as most bands considered grunge, I like some songs but far from all.

I like every single Nirvana song though. Nirvana was absolutely brilliant.
 
But Silverchair is usually labelled post-grunge as well. Kurt Cobain's death is basically considered the death of grunge as well, so all grungy bands which appeared after that are considered post-grunge.

I don't like Bush much. As for Pearl Jam, as most bands considered grunge, I like some songs but far from all.

I like every single Nirvana song though. Nirvana was absolutely brilliant.
if kurt cobain's death was the end of grunge wouldn't that mean superunknown vitalogy and alice in chain's yellow album aren't grunge and that purple by stone temple pilots isn't grunge?

nirvana was awesome, but kurt cobain was a feminist. imagine him in today's world with 4th wave feminists
 
if kurt cobain's death was the end of grunge wouldn't that mean superunknown vitalogy and alice in chain's yellow album aren't grunge and that purple by stone temple pilots isn't grunge?
Those bands first appeared when Kurt was still alive so they're not usually considered post-grunge, but regular grunge. Even their post-1994 albums. Stone Temple Pilots is awesome btw, forgot mentioning them.

nirvana was awesome, but kurt cobain was a feminist. imagine him in today's world with 4th wave feminists
Yeah, I know. Very disappointing. He was also a low key satanist, not that feminism isn't a form of satanism in its own way.

Well, many such cases in rock music in general. But he did write awesome songs.
 
Those bands first appeared when Kurt was still alive so they're not usually considered post-grunge, but regular grunge. Even their post-1994 albums. Stone Temple Pilots is awesome btw, forgot mentioning them.


Yeah, I know. Very disappointing. He was also a low key satanist, not that feminism isn't a form of satanism in its own way.

Well, many such cases in rock music in general. But he did write awesome songs.
i feel like if a band sounds like grunge they're grunge imo. grunge bands appearing after kurt cobain wouldn't be post-grunge because nickelback and staind and 3 doors down don't actually sound like grunge
 
i feel like if a band sounds like grunge they're grunge imo. grunge bands appearing after kurt cobain wouldn't be post-grunge because nickelback and staind and 3 doors down don't actually sound like grunge
Yeah, those labels are mostly arbitrary and hazy. Nickelback doesn't sound grungy at all to me. Maybe it's just because of the hoarse voice and blonde long hair which kinda remind one of Kurt. But I don't like Nickelback tbh.

Three Doors Down reminds me of my teenage years, my Chadlite friend was always listening to them but I never really got into it. I only listened to Nirvana, Silverchair and The Beatles back then.
 
Yeah, those labels are mostly arbitrary and hazy. Nickelback doesn't sound grungy at all to me. Maybe it's just because of the hoarse voice and blonde long hair which kinda remind one of Kurt. But I don't like Nickelback tbh.

Three Doors Down reminds me of my teenage years, my Chadlite friend was always listening to them but I never really got into it. I only listened to Nirvana, Silverchair and The Beatles back then.
Staind's first album is grungy nu metal. It's a good album about a depressed guy who eventually kills himself. i listened to it in the beginning of 10th grade when i was suicidal for the 1st time.
 
Staind's first album is grungy nu metal. It's a good album about a depressed guy who eventually kills himself. i listened to it in the beginning of 10th grade when i was suicidal for the 1st time.
Did you listen to emo back in the day? I did have an emo phase; didn't really like any emo band but I was into the aesthetics and wanted to have my own emo band for a while, JFL. I was usually way more into grunge and alt-rock in general though.
 
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Did you listen to emo back in the day? I did have an emo phase; didn't really like any emo band but I was into the aesthetics and wanted to have my own emo band for a while, JFL. I was usually way more into grunge and alt-rock in general though.
I never listened to too much emo. These days I mostly listen to nu metal like korn and slipknot and linkin park
 
I never listened to too much emo. These days I mostly listen to nu metal like korn and slipknot and linkin park
I liked one or two Linkin Park songs. It was huge back in the day. Never liked Slipknot. I liked SOAD, still listen to it sometimes.

As for emo, it's another label which is very hazy, but I like some of it tbh. Some My Chemical Romance songs are good. This one for instance:


View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=02W8DAnKvlA


Sunny Day Real State is also good:


View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gAotWVmVRS4
 
I liked one or two Linkin Park songs. It was huge back in the day. Never liked Slipknot. I liked SOAD, still listen to it sometimes.

As for emo, it's another label which is very hazy, but I like some of it tbh. Some My Chemical Romance songs are good. This one for instance:


View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=02W8DAnKvlA


Sunny Day Real State is also good:


View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gAotWVmVRS4

I miss when I related to blink-182’s lyrics back when I had friends. I may have lacked dating. But that wasn’t as bad in hs and i still had friends
 
I miss when I related to blink-182’s lyrics back when I had friends. I may have lacked dating. But that wasn’t as bad in hs and i still had friends
Blink 182 has a lot of good songs, but they give me the vibes of those typical teenage degenerated movies from the early 00s, like American Pie. That's why I don't listen to it a lot.
 
Blink 182 has a lot of good songs, but they give me the vibes of those typical teenage degenerated movies from the early 00s, like American Pie. That's why I don't listen to it a lot.
I can’t listen to them anymore now that I am depressed over missing out in college. If my social life became exciting, I can finally listen to them again
 
I can’t listen to them anymore now that I am depressed over missing out in college. If my social life became exciting, I can finally listen to them again
Two bands I stopped listening to for good because of similar reasons were Deftones (pretty much all songs are about sex) and the Arctic Monkeys. Their song "Balaclava" is particularly suifuel: I originally thought it was about rape but it' actually about having one night stands with groupies and refusing to open up emotionally to them regardless of their insistence.
 
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I thought destines write about other stuff. I like 7 words but that’s about being hated and feeling the world hates you
 
i think that friend's just a projection of what you would actually like to do yourself. But your ego gets fueled more at the idea of a "friend" who cares about you and/or has inherited your ideas. This happens because your ideas and thoughts get VALIDATED by also belonging to someone else, not just to yourself.

Also, the idea of suicide is gratifying and feeds into your ego because, after your death, nothing can ever harm you psychologically again since you are gone. It's a way to get back at the people who hurt you as well, because your brain deems suicide as something that would mentally scar your relatives/friends or anyone like that, or maybe even heavily influence their lives in some "13 reasons why" kind of shit. Most of us are very egotistical and deep down we think our suicide would change the world's rotation in a lot of ways, when in reality everyone outside of your parents would forget about it in less than a month (with your parents needing maybe a year or two to be fine again, not indefinite time). @Edmund_Kemper what do you think?
 
i think that friend's just a projection of what you would actually like to do yourself. But your ego gets fueled more at the idea of a "friend" who cares about you and/or has inherited your ideas. This happens because your ideas and thoughts get VALIDATED by also belonging to someone else, not just to yourself.

Also, the idea of suicide is gratifying and feeds into your ego because, after your death, nothing can ever harm you psychologically again since you are gone. It's a way to get back at the people who hurt you as well, because your brain deems suicide as something that would mentally scar your relatives/friends or anyone like that, or maybe even heavily influence their lives in some "13 reasons why" kind of shit. Most of us are very egotistical and deep down we think our suicide would change the world's rotation in a lot of ways, when in reality everyone outside of your parents would forget about it in less than a month (with your parents needing maybe a year or two to be fine again, not indefinite time). @Edmund_Kemper what do you think?
The idea of a friend avenging me is the idea that there’s someone who cares
 
I thought destines write about other stuff. I like 7 words but that’s about being hated and feeling the world hates you
I mean, not every single song is about sex, but the "sex-positive" descriptive nature of the lyrics repelled me.
 
I mean, not every single song is about sex, but the "sex-positive" descriptive nature of the lyrics repelled me.
You should listen to staind debut album tormented
 

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