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Venting I now fucking despise London and all of the fucking ethnics that study there. But, above all, I hate myself the most.

dungeondragon

dungeondragon

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I have been a NEET for 4 years, following events that I am ashamed of due to my autism. I went up to London today with my mother as she was having an important procedure done at the hospital, and the experience was fucking ragefuel. I felt so inferior to all of the university ethnics in those areas. So many Chinese guys and foids, so many curries - they all looked like they studied STEM or business, mogging me to hell and back. A lot of the Asian guys were walking alone, but there were many with an Asian foid in tow. Gaggles of Asian foids with designer accessories and clothing milling about, taking photos and just enjoying the nice weather. I have never fit in with any crowd I have tried to be a part of, mainly due to my autism, which prevents me from ever feeling or being normal. I get very angry and neurotic when I am around social people, and when eyes are on me. I look at their smart, effortless clothing and social groupings and my insecurities immediately bubble up to the surface, making me despise my existence along with everyone around me. I have wasted 4 years doing absolutely fuck all, while these other ethnics have made advances in their life. I hope I never bump into the few friends I had in the past, I would never be able to face them. I feel like crying, I am absolute shit. I have no direction, no aspirations other than to be financially stable. If I could at least obtain this, then I would be able to cope easier with life. This is just a venting post, no need to respond. Just needed to get this off my chest.
 
Fallenleaves

Fallenleaves

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I am an ethnic that likes to study, ovER if I went to London and u spotted me
 
Izayacel

Izayacel

lIgHtNiNg cOnDuit btw "
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im neeting for 5 years now , i get that feeling of being slower " . nuisance but i became more ignorant and aggresive to people .

You dont have to justify yourself for being dealt a bad hand . life is luck and its not your fault . remember that.

@dungeondragon
 
dungeondragon

dungeondragon

‎i dislike almost everything
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Joined
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Online
83d 12h 54m
im neeting for 5 years now , i get that feeling of being slower " . nuisance but i became more ignorant and aggresive to people .

You dont have to justify yourself for being dealt a bad hand . life is luck and its not your fault . remember that.

@dungeondragon
I am beginning to make peace with my situation, slowly but surely. Best just to go with the flow.
 
Izayacel

Izayacel

lIgHtNiNg cOnDuit btw "
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I am beginning to make peace with my situation, slowly but surely. Best just to go with the flow.
you got your own place yet? , with tism this shit is quite a challenge " . Then again i would be in utter Bliss if i got my own place
 
dungeondragon

dungeondragon

‎i dislike almost everything
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you got your own place yet? , with tism this shit is quite a challenge " . Then again i would be in utter Bliss if i got my own place
Not yet, I doubt I'll be moving out for a long while. I would be pretty stoked if I had my own place, but my situation is a little complicated so I'd rather not leave my mother just yet.
 
OGcel

OGcel

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university is ethnics natural environment
 
Izayacel

Izayacel

lIgHtNiNg cOnDuit btw "
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Not yet, I doubt I'll be moving out for a long while. I would be pretty stoked if I had my own place, but my situation is a little complicated so I'd rather not leave my mother just yet.
where in the exact same boat then lol , gl to me and you i guess .
 
Glerforpus

Glerforpus

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It’s always disappointing comparing yourself to people
 
dungeondragon

dungeondragon

‎i dislike almost everything
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It’s always disappointing comparing yourself to people
It really is. I lack foundation, a strong intrinsic base, so I cannot help but look externally to what I have failed to amount to.

A work in progress, I assure you.
 

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