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So bored in my goycave right now
I have heard from sources a well established user here is a fag tbhnglfr
I hate that normie word " drama " fuck saying that
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> OVERSTRESSED
GAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
try playing diddly kong 5 or sonic 6 xd
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Donkey Cuck Country 2 has me so tilted I hate that shit game
> ''Gee, I can't wait to play DCK 2! , everyone said the 1st game was great, and it is, not perfect, but very solid for the first game entire in the series, and ahead of its time on snes when it came out, but I've heard this game is even better, so lets play it and find out! can't wait.''
> *reads title of game*
> ''Ok first of all the name of the game is a fucking retarded pun and the title screen looks like a dark and gloomy puddle of shit, and I don't see donkey kong. Where is he?''
> ''Well it turns out in this game you don't play as him, I mean thats a great fucking start. Instead you play as his scrawny chimp brother and his sissy sister. Why on earth would you want to play as the side character? In the first game, you always wanted to be donkey kong, you felt big and imposing and when you got hit, you were punished and made to feel small by playing as diddy kong, so why the fuck is he the main character?''
> ''Anyway the game starts and.... what the fuck am I listening to? Great fucking music isn't it? Did the devs forget to add the music in the level?, Some way to hype you up for the game, the sound of creaking wood and the waves of the sea, but I guess the graphics look alright here I suppose, but I wouldn't get used to seeing bright and colourful visuals in this game if I were you''
> ''You get to the end of the level and see this weird barrel thing, kind of like those things you see in carnivals where you hit the target with a giant hammer, but here, you jump on it. Thats cool I guess, but everytime you get an item from it, diddy does this stupid ass obnoxious rap, and his sister plays some shitty guitar solo. Its like the devs were trying so hard to be hip and tubular dude, so rad!''
> ''Getting an item from the target thing only seems to work if you land on it from a height, which is fucking beautiful because most levels don't give you a height to jump from. Just one of many examples of lazy game design, and if there is another way of hitting it, the game gives you no indication, but who cares anyway just get me on the next level''
> ''I will admit the first world is pretty cool, how you start of on a beached pirate ship, and the visuals look nice too, but believe me, it just goes down the shitter afterwards''
> ''So I beat the first boss, which to be fair at least the bosses are more original and more stimulating to play compared to the first game, although some bosses in this game are just ass, a few are alright and an improvement from the last game, but thats not to say they are good, its just compared to the last game they are better, but thats not saying much''
> ''Now is a good time to comment on the main hub of the game, I mean, what am I even looking at? It looks like random shit thrown on an island with a vague idea of what it is trying to be, and christ, why in the fuck hell did they make it all dark and gloomy, with snort green sky and puke green water?, I know the first game is kind of like that but it looked far more organic and cohesive, here it just looks a toddler designed it; it just looks so sloppy designed and juvenile, oh, and the music fucking sucks, it just fills you with dread and pessimism. Thats the best way to describe this game; soul sucking and miserable, fuck the up beat go getter feeling of the first game''
> ''Ok, now world 2, and.... its a fucking lava world? already? did the devs ever play a fucking video game before? the lava world is meant to be one of the last worlds, not right after the fucking bright and cheery first world. Maybe it isn't lava, it looks more like fucking nacho cheese, and the map doesn't even look like a world map in a video game, it just looks like the devs just got a random image of volcanoes and shit and slapped it in the game. Every map is like this btw. What I mean is there is no clear path for the player to go from level to level, you just go to random spots on the jpeg image and go from there, its like the devs didn't even bother in creating a cohesive world map with paths to lead the player, thats why you have these stupid ass arrows pointing the way, because if it weren't for them, you'd be lost and even with them I have lost my way. How spectacular, the maps are so poorly designed you need tacked on arrows to make it playable; pathetic.''
> ''Now the nacho cheese levels. Why the game looks worse than the first game I don't know. Its a mix between clusterfuck visuals here, and bland and generic there, but I must admit the music in these levels is actually good, but too bad the levels suck. In this game, the levels are either generic layout with random enemy placement or slow and half baked gimmick levels. Don't expect to go through levels without stopping, throwing barrels and having fun, instead expect loads of rope climbing, getting stuck in honey or other bullshit, like this level which has you shooting from barrels the entire fucking time in the most obnoxious way possible, because the path isn't clear and you just blast around like a dickhead, all while in some generic bramble level in board daylight; I thought this world was in a cave?, game makes no damn sense''
> ''Its like the devs were told that the first game had barrels and animal enemies, so what do they do? spam random enemies of random designs (mostly these fucking wasps) and put barrels in the most pointless places. They even added this ''timer'' barrel or whatever it is. What a joke''
> ''It was in world 2 I started to think about these banana coins I was gathering and how I use them, and I also noticed these large DK coins, but I just assume this shit is just for completion or some other dumbshit; I just wanna beat each level and beat the final boss, why should I care about these coins? the game doesn't tell you thats for sure, but I later found out the banana coins are used for buying useless items; whatever.''
> ''I encounter this giant guy with a clubber, who is asking me for coins, but I have the option to fight him, so fuck paying him for whatever it is he is guarding. So I try fight him and... I am booted from the stage... Why have the fucking option then if I have no choice but to pay? Whatever I don't care about whatever dumbshit thats all about I just wanna progress in the game.''
> ''Now its world 3
90% of the budget went into the soundtrack. rest of the game was phoned in
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That game is to me what Castlevania 2 is to AVGN
I fucking couldn't beat the first one 95% of your deaths don't feel earned you justget killed by random bullshit you can't see on your first run
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2nd is absolute dogshit but nintendo soys keep sucking it of.
3rd game is good tbh
You can always post naked selfies on neets.net when you get bored
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