When I was little boy, I would cry very quickly, if a dog or a character died in a movie or television show. Or if I saw one of those abused animals commercial. A couple of months ago, I witnessed a car accident. Some car that crossed the speed limit, ran over a pedestrian on the crosswalk, and immediately sped away. Seconds earlier, I suggested to my friends to cross the road. Basically, I could have been the person who was hit by that car. My friends and I were the first at the scene, with my friend being completely freaked out, since he saw the guy actually getting hit. I had only seen the aftermath. He yelled "Please, somebody, anybody, call the ambulance." I told him, "You got a phone, right? Call them." And so he complied, completely panicked. The young man was bleeding from his head. He wasn't really conscious, his legs were constantly shaking and he kept blinking rapidly. I knew immediately this would not end well for the young man. He would be a vegetable for the rest of his life at worst, or he would be paralyzed from the neck down at best. A crowd draws in. People are panicking left and right. Moments later, the ambulance and the cops arrive. The cops seal off the crime scene and only allow witnesses to stay. The cops interrogate us, and we try to our best to help and give a description of the car that hit the young man. It was after 10 P.M., so it was dark and it was hard to figure out what the color of the car was, especially for me, since I have a terrible sight. Anyway, my friends were really distraught, when getting interviewed by the cops, my friend who called the ambulance asks "Is it normal if I am freaked out like this?" I said "Of course." The cops says "I would be more concerned if you didn't feel anything, you'd be like a robot." He then glanced at me. I look the cop straight in the eyes. The cop focuses on my friend again. The young boy who got hit was taken to the hospital, and his parents were informed. They were locals, but I had never seen the young man before. We really wanted to know how the young man was doing, so the cops said we would be able to call the hospital the next morning. Two days went by, and the perpetrator was still not caught. The accident made headlines. The third day, the perpetrator turned himself over to the police. He's been in a holding cell ever since, and is now spending time in prison for his crimes. He's been sentenced to at least a couple of years. Days go by, and the young man? He's been placed in an artificial coma. More days go by, and we get the news. The young boy died as a result of multiple brain hemorrhages. He was only 19 years old. I knew he would die, right at that moment I saw his blinking and legs shaking uncontrollably, but I wanted to stay positive, for the sake of my friends. I feel bad for his parents. I also feel bad for his twin brother, it turned out he was twins. Everytime he will look in the mirror, he will be reminded of his brother. Everytime he gets good news, he will get excited and won't be able to wait to tell his brother, only to realize he is gone, for good. The young boy who died, he was also ambitious, he spent extra years in high school so he could go to a college. He was supposed to start college this year. And I? Throughout the whole ordeal, from the accident to the news of his death, I was as calm as one could possibly be. I felt nothing. I still don't feel anything. The point I'm trying to make is that I have become so desensitized. I'm just not sure if it's a result of being lonely. Or if I am just dead inside. I just don't know.
