I don't have the strength to kill myself through direct action, but I can however do it in a different way.
By not treating myself as my doctor ordered me to.
I'm sick, I have no clue what it is, I only know it exists.
I'm suppoused to give 2 blood samples (and have 2 spine X-rays. I won't do that. Either way its all paid by the state so, I don't care.
If I get worse then I'll feel more confident in comitting primitive self-inflicted euthnasia via hanging or bullet to the head.
yeah me too, I dont wanna kill myself directly that'd just make my parents too sad. I've been on steroids for a year now and i know i've developed some problem, don't even have the motivation to find a doctor anymore just wanna die
You are still killing yourself if you let yourself die on purpose. If you think death will be any less scary because it isn't direct you are delusional. If anything taking the slow "indirect" approach will just prolong your suffering and be even more fear inducing. You will have to live with fear rather than facing a mere instant of it.
What if you both develop painful conditions that will last decades and won't kill you, but will instead slowly deplete your vitality and your ability to enjoy life. That direct method is going to seem like a great option then, and at that point you wasted your time trying to avoid.
My point is, pick a damn lane and stop trying to play both sides.
If you choose to kill yourself, then just kill yourself. If you choose to live then focus on improving your life and live. But to just half ass either side will only leave you with shitty results.
I notice so many incels try to do this in so many areas of life.
They want to say that women are "worthless disgusting foids" on one hand, and then on the other hand say that a woman's judgement of you is important and female validation is more important than sex (so the judgement of worthless disgusting people is now valuable?).
They want to laugh at mass shootings, women being abused, women being raped, children dying, etc. While also claiming to be religious and in service of a God who is clearly against what they do lol.
Etc, etc, etc
You can't get it both ways, these things contradict eachother.
