E
I went to Lidl for late-night shopping, and the store was mostly empty. When I reached the checkout, the cashier was a HTB mayowhore. 
She was very pale, so I had to manually inject some melanin into her face to make out what she looked like, otherwise I'd have difficulty recalling her facial features. 
As I waited behind a man, he dashed off to grab an item he forgot. This fucking idiot was taking so long to come back. The silence felt awkward, so I pretended to scroll through my phone. The wait dragged on, so I asked the cashier, “Can you just scan my items since he’s taking so long?” She smiled and replied, “I wish I could, but the system won’t allow it.” I nodded and went back to fake-scrolling until the man returned. Eventually, I scanned my items, and went home.
A few days later, I was back and saw her crouched down, stocking items in an aisle. As I walked a little towards her to look at other items, I think she became aware of my presence, then stood up, and left abruptly. I had zero intention of talking or getting close to her.
On another visit, I joined a checkout line but didn't realize she was the cashier. My body started vibrating with anxiety. I quickly switched to another line, which I think she noticed.
On my recent visit, after I finished checking out, I saw her signing off on another register, and was now about to walk past me. Her body language seemed to say, "I'm not nervous around you. If you have something to say, just say it, or be done with it!" I kept my head low, and walked out.
This is what I mean by having social anxiety - everything gets so fucking awkward with me and I can't help it. But I will defend myself by saying I’m just a customer shopping; it’s not my fault people react the way they do.
I can’t keep going to that store. I don't feel welcomed by her, and I’m tired of checking who’s at the register and hoping it’s not her. For the sake of my mental health, I’ve decided to avoid going there.
I wonder how different things would be if I had normal social skills.
She was very pale, so I had to manually inject some melanin into her face to make out what she looked like, otherwise I'd have difficulty recalling her facial features. As I waited behind a man, he dashed off to grab an item he forgot. This fucking idiot was taking so long to come back.
The silence felt awkward, so I pretended to scroll through my phone. The wait dragged on, so I asked the cashier, “Can you just scan my items since he’s taking so long?” She smiled and replied, “I wish I could, but the system won’t allow it.” I nodded and went back to fake-scrolling until the man returned. Eventually, I scanned my items, and went home.A few days later, I was back and saw her crouched down, stocking items in an aisle.
As I walked a little towards her to look at other items, I think she became aware of my presence, then stood up, and left abruptly. I had zero intention of talking or getting close to her.On another visit, I joined a checkout line but didn't realize she was the cashier. My body started vibrating with anxiety.
I quickly switched to another line, which I think she noticed.On my recent visit, after I finished checking out, I saw her signing off on another register, and was now about to walk past me.
Her body language seemed to say, "I'm not nervous around you. If you have something to say, just say it, or be done with it!" I kept my head low, and walked out.This is what I mean by having social anxiety - everything gets so fucking awkward with me and I can't help it.
But I will defend myself by saying I’m just a customer shopping; it’s not my fault people react the way they do. I can’t keep going to that store. I don't feel welcomed by her, and I’m tired of checking who’s at the register and hoping it’s not her.
For the sake of my mental health, I’ve decided to avoid going there.I wonder how different things would be if I had normal social skills.
