I literally no longer have any copes or delusions, I live on crude mode

[Tenshi]

Literally every little thing I was coping on throughout my life managed to get totally destroyed by reality in the last 2 years.

All my insecurities, fears, they just came to surface and I got hit right in the face with all the blackpilling experiences I went through. I got obliterated by life.

Sure, here and there I may try to think positively and even get mad for a few days when things don't go my way, but it's just not like before. I never really thought those things were really going anywhere from the beginning. When I start things I'm already aware of these likely negative possibilities and/or outcomes: no hope, no harm.

I have no illusions at this point. The caveat of this of course is that I have no hope and no joy in life. I may laugh, but I'll never be happy. I may try, but I'll never succeed, and I know that. Living is just something I do for no reason at all at this point, as I have no dreams or goals in life.

I'm a broken human.

 

[Deleted member 36606]

I'm a lost soul, one alone pilgrim, a butterfly without wings, a car without wheels, a lumberjack without an axe, a tranny without a dick, a nigger without weed, a white woman without dogs, one redditor without a black bull for the wife, a gun without bullets, a sunflower without a bee.
I'm nothing, just waiting for death call my name while i ldar and beat my meat to undearge shadman drawings, ITS OVER.

 

[Tenshi]

I'm a lost soul, one alone pilgrim, a butterfly without wings, a car without wheels, a lumberjack without an axe, a tranny without a dick, a nigger without weed, a white woman without dogs, one redditor without a black bull for the wife, a gun without bullets, a sunflower without a bee.
I'm nothing, just waiting for death call my name while i ldar and beat my meat to undearge shadman drawings, ITS OVER.

thanks for making me laugh

 

[Deleted member 36606]

thanks for making me laugh

 

[WrongTimeline]

Unfortunately every cope has its end, there are no exceptions

 

[Deleted member 38073]

I sympathize 100%

 

[Intellau_Celistic]

Understood. I'll proceed:

Several years ago, I entered my second mental breakdown after months of torment from youth living in a youth commune. I was paranoid, afraid of sleeping, and kept hearing voices of those youth in my mind for months afterward. I'd sleep in the basement of a relative and cringe whenever I'd hear laughter.


I coped with this by recounting all my negative experiences daily. I recalled how I was criticized by relatives for ASD, bullied in group therapy for ASD, ostracized in the commune for ASD, and I started analyzing all aspects of my suffering and realized that I was non-NT and incapable of truly bonding with Normies in a meaningful way. Then, I researched my conditions and spent hours seeking out techniques and therapies for myself, since my relatives did little to help me with them.

 

[InMyCellInHell]

I have no illusions at this point. The caveat of this of course is that I have no hope and no joy in life. I may laugh, but I'll never be happy. I may try, but I'll never succeed, and I know that. Living is just something I do for no reason at all at this point, as I have no dreams or goals in life.

I'm a broken human.

I've been this way for over 13 years now. Forever over.

 

[Praise the Sun]

You would think your body just shuts down at some point and you finally die...
But no, you just wake up every day and have to keep suffering.

 

[Deleted member 35171]

Copes can't keep you goinG fOrever. Eventually we all have to face reality and fulfill our truE puRpose.