View: https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoXChromosomes/s/D2ymTvoXkJ
I learnt the reason why my husband married me
Edit: me 32, him 38 and we are from the same country, we have a daughter (8 mo)
Not a native speaker, sorry for the mistakes. So I am married to a guy who is (when you look from outside perspective) almost perfect. Like the silly finance guy song.
When we first met everything was like a dream for me. I was not very lucky until I met him concerning relationships (insecurities, trust issues etc. on top of that I was a virgin) anyway the other night we were chatting in the bed and he basically told me that what made him instantly wanting to get married to me was the fact that I had not been with any body else sexually! so apparently me being myself was enough for him to be in a relationship with me but the main reason was just I was this untouched person
(not exact words but I am pretty grossed out while typing these).This man is not someone who is insecure. He was kind of a player (was a huge concern for me but that is another topic) and I was the opposite. So I don’t think these thoughts are stemming from insecurity.
The thing is he thinks he is actually saying something good, like he is praising me! And I am realising that this man was just attracted to me, probably the way I look, I am exactly his type, anyways but not like in love with me. I know that he loves me now, and I realize this because once we got married he actually started to become this obsessive, control freak, jealous man (that is also another issue).
So I guess I am pretty naive, as I had no idea and I keep connecting dots in my mind (or thinking that I am). So, I am just wondering what do you think about this statement? What should I do?
Edit 2: Wow I am overwhelmed by all these abuse comments. His possessiveness etc. Are obviously a problem, I am aware of it but I don’t think he abuses me in a way that I should immediately plan an exit strategy, and I still love him. Since we met he was always emotionally available and made me feel secure, it is not black and white but I agree with some of the comments and will definitely try to bring this up soon. Thank you for your responses.
