I just walked home like ten miles, took me like 4 hours, because my co-worker that normally gives me a ride left because I bitched, whined, complained, for over an hour trying to keep my job with the bosses, but nope. Last hired, first fired. Not like I am unaware of that fact of life, but I thought things were going good. Three other dudes that had the same ER face I had fucking hand to god told me if we were good looking bitches there was no way we'd be let go. They were far from ugly in my eyes, but for all I know they may post here too. I cried pretty much the whole way home. I think even if a hobo wanted to jump me they let me pass because they thought I was crazier than them. Not like I have anything to take, literally empty wallet and no cc. Too bad they didn't, they would have been doing me a huge favor.
Now I'll have to fucking bite the bullet and tell my dad I failed again and that I'm sorry. I hate everything so much. My mom will be an ultra bitch and knowing my luck will bring up the fact that she doesn't care if I ever get a gf, get a fucking job. I don't even have anywhere else to complain and since I'm a junecel; I'm even a faggot here. I'm probably not even wanted here. No one ever wants me. The "friends" I have will give me the usual patronizing responses of condolence and go back to being able and fuckable. Since they never hit me up, I probably wont even bother. Done it enough times as it is over the years.
I had just told my nephews I was going to buy them bikes for their birthdays this month, probably still will, and that will be the last of the money that I have in the bank. I'll be back to being nothing and having literally nothing. I can see why you guys bring up the rope so much because I'm the closest to that feeling I've ever been. People out having fun, laughing, enjoying a few fleeting moments on a saturday night and I spent mine walking home like a total loser knowing that tomorrow will be worse. I just can't believe this is how everything always turns out. Everywhere, every time.
The government doesn't want me. Jobs never seem to want me. Women don't want me. My family will barely want me when I have to tell them tomorrow I got laid off. I don't even want me anymore. I'm going to try and get welfare and food stamps starting monday since tomorrow is a day I'm going to be terribly hungover because I'm pounding shots now, so fuck it. I just can't believe that my completely honest attempts to always remain positive fail. Every time. I wont be surprised at all if getting welfare becomes a huge burden that I wont even continue bothering with after a while.
They said "we'll be in touch". Yeah. Heard that before. In other words, good bye, see ya. "Thanks for being honest, we'll keep your file in suspension. That means we could possibly call you back." Like hell you will. No one ever does. I ALWAYS have to initiate the contact for anything to occur and what usually occurs is negative at worst, false at normal, and dishonestly candid at best. I had just talked to a dude that was in high school and was so happy to be there today, enjoy it faggot. Probably took my spot for no other reason than youngcel. I never failed at any task at hand nor talked to basically anyone because that never does me any good. I am the fail. That's always it.
I could keep going but it's always the same bullshit anyway.
Now I'll have to fucking bite the bullet and tell my dad I failed again and that I'm sorry. I hate everything so much. My mom will be an ultra bitch and knowing my luck will bring up the fact that she doesn't care if I ever get a gf, get a fucking job. I don't even have anywhere else to complain and since I'm a junecel; I'm even a faggot here. I'm probably not even wanted here. No one ever wants me. The "friends" I have will give me the usual patronizing responses of condolence and go back to being able and fuckable. Since they never hit me up, I probably wont even bother. Done it enough times as it is over the years.
I had just told my nephews I was going to buy them bikes for their birthdays this month, probably still will, and that will be the last of the money that I have in the bank. I'll be back to being nothing and having literally nothing. I can see why you guys bring up the rope so much because I'm the closest to that feeling I've ever been. People out having fun, laughing, enjoying a few fleeting moments on a saturday night and I spent mine walking home like a total loser knowing that tomorrow will be worse. I just can't believe this is how everything always turns out. Everywhere, every time.
The government doesn't want me. Jobs never seem to want me. Women don't want me. My family will barely want me when I have to tell them tomorrow I got laid off. I don't even want me anymore. I'm going to try and get welfare and food stamps starting monday since tomorrow is a day I'm going to be terribly hungover because I'm pounding shots now, so fuck it. I just can't believe that my completely honest attempts to always remain positive fail. Every time. I wont be surprised at all if getting welfare becomes a huge burden that I wont even continue bothering with after a while.
They said "we'll be in touch". Yeah. Heard that before. In other words, good bye, see ya. "Thanks for being honest, we'll keep your file in suspension. That means we could possibly call you back." Like hell you will. No one ever does. I ALWAYS have to initiate the contact for anything to occur and what usually occurs is negative at worst, false at normal, and dishonestly candid at best. I had just talked to a dude that was in high school and was so happy to be there today, enjoy it faggot. Probably took my spot for no other reason than youngcel. I never failed at any task at hand nor talked to basically anyone because that never does me any good. I am the fail. That's always it.
I could keep going but it's always the same bullshit anyway.
