L
Stemming from a dysfunctional family and being severly autistic has brought nothing but suffering for me. There was/is no semblance of normalcy in my fucking life.
I was in mental health services since a child - nothing changed. Only in my late teenage years I could finally quit everything mental health related and completely spat on everything these fuckers told me. Thanks for the EEGs and attachment therapy back then.
I have no normalcy in my job. I am seen as a retard, an annoyance and a liability (high school never ends, it's just better hidden). I am socially not competent enough to hide my Autism from others. I am someone who gets tolerated with lenience at best and bullied at worst. Despite decent grades it's unlikely that I well ever get employment without disability hiring due to my personality factors (extremely compulsive, extremely bad social skills) and my low physical skills (due to motoric problems). And the worst thing: When I complain about it people say that I accuse my personal failures with Autism (jfl, because they confuse Autism with Savantism and because so-called positive representation creates unrealistic demands due to only showing success stories which makes it more harmful than useful).
I have no normalcy in my personal life. I have never even held hands with a girl, I never even had a girl in the same private room as me (people don't interact with me unless they are very desperate and/or forced to do so). Even my former friend rarely (if ever) contacts me.
Everything I ever got was with fighting - I even had to fight to be accepted into a normal school (because they wouldn't want to take autistic kids and deemed me as unfit to be schooled). Each of these fights was obsolete, no normalfag had to do that shit, they just were accepted. From the start of my life I wasn't accepted and nobody wanted to associate with me willingly, everyone (e.g. institutions/etc.) had to be forced and those who couldn't be forced (e.g. my peers) tried to remove me. That's why bullying accompanied me from kindergarden to high school.
And do you know what? There is nothing inspirational about "succeeding" (academically speaking) against all odds and against the predictions of the "experts" (like my parents always say), I am tired of fighting, I just wish there hadn't been problems to begin with. The right ones in life don't have to try so hard to get so little. My entire fights were for things that were completely normal for others (like visiting a fucking school) - there shouldn't even have been fights in the first place for things as trivial as those. The things I fought for were basal things that most people do without even thinking about it and in the end only the results matter - and they are so little that they make the effort seem not worth it.
I say it as it is: The only pity I nowadays have is for myself and others in the same position.
I was in mental health services since a child - nothing changed. Only in my late teenage years I could finally quit everything mental health related and completely spat on everything these fuckers told me. Thanks for the EEGs and attachment therapy back then.
I have no normalcy in my job. I am seen as a retard, an annoyance and a liability (high school never ends, it's just better hidden). I am socially not competent enough to hide my Autism from others. I am someone who gets tolerated with lenience at best and bullied at worst. Despite decent grades it's unlikely that I well ever get employment without disability hiring due to my personality factors (extremely compulsive, extremely bad social skills) and my low physical skills (due to motoric problems). And the worst thing: When I complain about it people say that I accuse my personal failures with Autism (jfl, because they confuse Autism with Savantism and because so-called positive representation creates unrealistic demands due to only showing success stories which makes it more harmful than useful).
I have no normalcy in my personal life. I have never even held hands with a girl, I never even had a girl in the same private room as me (people don't interact with me unless they are very desperate and/or forced to do so). Even my former friend rarely (if ever) contacts me.
Everything I ever got was with fighting - I even had to fight to be accepted into a normal school (because they wouldn't want to take autistic kids and deemed me as unfit to be schooled). Each of these fights was obsolete, no normalfag had to do that shit, they just were accepted. From the start of my life I wasn't accepted and nobody wanted to associate with me willingly, everyone (e.g. institutions/etc.) had to be forced and those who couldn't be forced (e.g. my peers) tried to remove me. That's why bullying accompanied me from kindergarden to high school.
And do you know what? There is nothing inspirational about "succeeding" (academically speaking) against all odds and against the predictions of the "experts" (like my parents always say), I am tired of fighting, I just wish there hadn't been problems to begin with. The right ones in life don't have to try so hard to get so little. My entire fights were for things that were completely normal for others (like visiting a fucking school) - there shouldn't even have been fights in the first place for things as trivial as those. The things I fought for were basal things that most people do without even thinking about it and in the end only the results matter - and they are so little that they make the effort seem not worth it.
I say it as it is: The only pity I nowadays have is for myself and others in the same position.
