I needed a little bit of an audience, so two of my friends were present last night. The project was due today at noon. I didn't play it back until I was home last night, but when I did and I saw myself, seeing how ugly I really was, goddamn that really was awful to see. I already knew I was ugly as hell, but I tried not to think about my looks. But it really hit me. My entire mood just shifted, I felt like complete shit. I understand why the only girl I ever liked in my pathetic existence of 24 years never could like me back. I understand why no girl will ever like me back. I don't see anyone possibly ever being with me, that is how ugly I am. I fell asleep soon after. Still felt like shit when I woke up. I ended up not handing in my work because of how bad I feel about myself. Now I have wasted yet another academic year. Fuck this shit. This life really sucks. When I don't feel like shit anymore, I will remind myself again so I must never forget and delude myself that maybe someone could like me. I'm just too damn ugly. Hold me, boyos. 
