Again I must preface that I don't really have dreams very often, aa usually I just kind of black out and wake up hours later. And f I do have dreams they are very hard to remember. Also, most of the dreams are actually bad dreams, or nightmares, most of the time. I can't even remember the last time I had a "good" one. On occasion, though I will get a really significant and memorable one, and this is one such case.
It was about 2 or 3 nights ago I think, on a strangely cold summer night. In the dream I was in my room just sitting around I think, when all of a sudden I got a shit ton of notifications from all my friends and family on my phone. Apparently they found out that I browse Incels.is and all of them instantly knew what I'd said and my true beliefs on here. Every excuse or way to get out of this that I could think of was countered and rebutted by them. I could hardly even get a word in with anyone because my phone was just blowing up with messages and calls constantly, in a neverending cascade.
I thought to myself, "Where were all these people who supposedly used to care about me (according to them) when I needed their help or companionship? Where were they when they supposedly cared? Where were they when I was lonely?" These were the final thoughts i had in my head as one by one the people contacting me began to cut me off and block me, etc.
I began to become very fearful and shook my head in despair, feeling a deep pit and a sinking feeling growing within my chest. It felt like I was being dragged and pulled into quicksand and couldn't get out.
And then of course I woke up right after that. Now, I'm not typically one to believe in real meanings that dreams might have, but I do think that they can occasionally be a "window into the subconscious". And that theory, combined with the dream I just had, makes me believe that my subconscious has fully accepted its inceldom status for a long time now, and that it also has a deep-seated fear and paranoia of getting caught by others, especially for doing deeds that should be (in my eyes) simple, small, infractions.
It was about 2 or 3 nights ago I think, on a strangely cold summer night. In the dream I was in my room just sitting around I think, when all of a sudden I got a shit ton of notifications from all my friends and family on my phone. Apparently they found out that I browse Incels.is and all of them instantly knew what I'd said and my true beliefs on here. Every excuse or way to get out of this that I could think of was countered and rebutted by them. I could hardly even get a word in with anyone because my phone was just blowing up with messages and calls constantly, in a neverending cascade.
I thought to myself, "Where were all these people who supposedly used to care about me (according to them) when I needed their help or companionship? Where were they when they supposedly cared? Where were they when I was lonely?" These were the final thoughts i had in my head as one by one the people contacting me began to cut me off and block me, etc.
I began to become very fearful and shook my head in despair, feeling a deep pit and a sinking feeling growing within my chest. It felt like I was being dragged and pulled into quicksand and couldn't get out.
And then of course I woke up right after that. Now, I'm not typically one to believe in real meanings that dreams might have, but I do think that they can occasionally be a "window into the subconscious". And that theory, combined with the dream I just had, makes me believe that my subconscious has fully accepted its inceldom status for a long time now, and that it also has a deep-seated fear and paranoia of getting caught by others, especially for doing deeds that should be (in my eyes) simple, small, infractions.
