DarkStar
⌖CelticChudcelϟϟ Discord: vrax0757_93180
★★★★★
- Joined
- Nov 20, 2022
- Posts
- 34,886
It's been a bit more rough than usual for me lately, so I should have seen this coming.
But to sum it up, I rotted hard Friday-Saturday: I literally just LDAR'd the whole day on Friday, I didn't even get the notes I needed down for a test coming up next week, which I'm basically preparing myself mentally for the inevitable failure it will bring.
Problem is, whenever I have "autism moments" such as these, it tends to cause me to "spiral" & go into some kind of State where my thoughts race: This didn't help with the fact I was supposed to meet two friends/acquaintances this weekend to see if I could try & rekindle any friendships since I want to normiemaxx, yet I blew two fucking good chances due to me being fuckin exhausted. This reminds me of all the stuff I maybe should have done to normiemaxx(such as join a club as generic as it sounds) or just have done better academically, since a lot of my grades have been Cs I just scraped in.
As such, I wasted another day completely with a fucking meltdown. I got nothing done, and was stuck in a fucking spiral snowball of my mental anguish & stress. Just fuck my life, I'm trying my best yet it's always a fucking step forward, and then three steps backwards. I don't know how I have the energy to go on, but it's just because I have had a renewed sense to try again one last time, I can't fucking say that this is it & just fucking GIVE UP no part of me just has to try again & not fucking completely give in. Im desperate, and I'm throwing literally every idea I have under the fucking sun to try & make it outta this life.
I wish I could just cease to exist right now.
But to sum it up, I rotted hard Friday-Saturday: I literally just LDAR'd the whole day on Friday, I didn't even get the notes I needed down for a test coming up next week, which I'm basically preparing myself mentally for the inevitable failure it will bring.
Problem is, whenever I have "autism moments" such as these, it tends to cause me to "spiral" & go into some kind of State where my thoughts race: This didn't help with the fact I was supposed to meet two friends/acquaintances this weekend to see if I could try & rekindle any friendships since I want to normiemaxx, yet I blew two fucking good chances due to me being fuckin exhausted. This reminds me of all the stuff I maybe should have done to normiemaxx(such as join a club as generic as it sounds) or just have done better academically, since a lot of my grades have been Cs I just scraped in.
As such, I wasted another day completely with a fucking meltdown. I got nothing done, and was stuck in a fucking spiral snowball of my mental anguish & stress. Just fuck my life, I'm trying my best yet it's always a fucking step forward, and then three steps backwards. I don't know how I have the energy to go on, but it's just because I have had a renewed sense to try again one last time, I can't fucking say that this is it & just fucking GIVE UP no part of me just has to try again & not fucking completely give in. Im desperate, and I'm throwing literally every idea I have under the fucking sun to try & make it outta this life.
I wish I could just cease to exist right now.