Brutal I Had A Meltdown Earlier Today

[DarkStar]

It's been a bit more rough than usual for me lately, so I should have seen this coming.

But to sum it up, I rotted hard Friday-Saturday: I literally just LDAR'd the whole day on Friday, I didn't even get the notes I needed down for a test coming up next week, which I'm basically preparing myself mentally for the inevitable failure it will bring.

Problem is, whenever I have "autism moments" such as these, it tends to cause me to "spiral" & go into some kind of State where my thoughts race: This didn't help with the fact I was supposed to meet two friends/acquaintances this weekend to see if I could try & rekindle any friendships since I want to normiemaxx, yet I blew two fucking good chances due to me being fuckin exhausted. This reminds me of all the stuff I maybe should have done to normiemaxx(such as join a club as generic as it sounds) or just have done better academically, since a lot of my grades have been Cs I just scraped in.

As such, I wasted another day completely with a fucking meltdown. I got nothing done, and was stuck in a fucking spiral snowball of my mental anguish & stress. Just fuck my life, I'm trying my best yet it's always a fucking step forward, and then three steps backwards. I don't know how I have the energy to go on, but it's just because I have had a renewed sense to try again one last time, I can't fucking say that this is it & just fucking GIVE UP no part of me just has to try again & not fucking completely give in. Im desperate, and I'm throwing literally every idea I have under the fucking sun to try & make it outta this life.

I wish I could just cease to exist right now.

 

[Villxs]

Lately I’ve been having more meltdowns than usual. Especially since I started college

 

[HAPPY HONKLERWEEN]

Layoff the goyslop and drugs for a start

 

[DarkStar]

>inb4 "muh fakecel for having friends & trying to socialize" or whatever idgaf I'm just so mentally screwed with by reality I'm losing my shit as I type this literally

 

[DarkStar]

Layoff the goyslop and drugs for a start

I had some ground beef & blueberries for lunch, so much for goyslop lol

Haven't eaten any of that this weekend jfl

 

[Regenerator]

Are you doing Ok now?

 

[MassEffectKoala]

>inb4 "muh fakecel for having friends & trying to socialize" or whatever idgaf I'm just so mentally screwed with by reality I'm losing my shit as I type this literally

I have no friends haha i see your bio 1488 white power fuck these kikes

 

[Sloth.Belgrade]

Sorry about that

Hopefully you're doing better now

 

[DarkStar]

I have no friends haha i see your bio 1488 white power fuck these kikes

ok GrAY

Are you doing Ok now?

A bit yeah, I managed to shower & get my ass to the library, though I've barely done shit

Sorry about that
View attachment 1305803
Hopefully you're doing better now

Thanks mang

 

[zerozerozero]

cheat on the test

 

[Penguin]

Sorry about that
View attachment 1305803
Hopefully you're doing better now

oh hell nah it looks like they're kissing

 

[Sloth.Belgrade]

ok GrAY

A bit yeah, I managed to shower & get my ass to the library, though I've barely done shit

Thanks mang

No problem

 

[Sloth.Belgrade]

oh hell nah it looks like they're kissing

It's a hug

 

[Regenerator]

A bit yeah, I managed to shower & get my ass to the library, though I've barely done shit

Is the library thing college related? You'd honestly be better quitting college. I never went & still managed to get a job.

 

[MassEffectKoala]

ok GrAY

A bit yeah, I managed to shower & get my ass to the library, though I've barely done shit

Thanks mang

Why the fuck you say im gay for hating jewish lizards who ruin white society and try destroy my race? are you fucking shitskin whitepowrr guy? Haha what the fuck.

 

[DeliriousMerchant]

Reconnecting with friends or getting into clubs doesn’t have to be an all-or-nothing thing. You could start with something low-pressure, like reaching out with a quick message or a quick call. In my opinion, you should somewhat establish a routine for yourself before reaching out to old associates.

But to sum it up, I rotted hard Friday-Saturday: I literally just LDAR'd the whole day on Friday, I didn't even get the notes I needed down for a test coming up next week, which I'm basically preparing myself mentally for the inevitable failure it will bring.

Honestly, just stop being lazy and start studying. I wouldn't advise doing an all-nighter or more for this upcoming test. You're mentally done for. But start writing down the topics you've done so far in your course subjects. It's only been 2 months into the school-year, I promise you cannot let assignments and exams overcrowd you now. Just be a little bit miserable and catch up, then you only need to read a little bit every night to stay on track. I think you already knew this.

Problem is, whenever I have "autism moments" such as these, it tends to cause me to "spiral" & go into some kind of State where my thoughts race

That's brutal.

As such, I wasted another day completely with a fucking meltdown. I got nothing done, and was stuck in a fucking spiral snowball of my mental anguish & stress.

You gotta take back control 90 percent of the time. Literally normie take but start with cleaning your room from top to bottom.

 

[DeliriousMerchant]

Why the fuck you say im gay for hating jewish lizards who ruin white society and try destroy my race? are you fucking shitskin whitepowrr guy? Haha what the fuck.

This is the part where the thread just gets absolutely derailed.

 

[MassEffectKoala]

This is the part where the thread just gets absolutely derailed.

He has bolts in his bio but isnt white power calls me gay? He is fucking stupid the jew ruin everything

 

[Greedo318]

You're probably going a bit too hard on yourself and it's causing you to spaz out alot more than usual. Just tell you're two Normie friends what happened and if they are actual decent people, they'll let it slide and you can make up another date to hang out. I've also did something that's going to be giving me some consequences tomorrow at school, but I'm just gonna chill and challenge it face on. I hope whatever happens to you, you can come back out at least not totally damaged

 

[DarkStar]

This is the part where the thread just gets absolutely derailed.

Yup, hence why I will not respond any further

GrAYs will be GrAYs, I just wish we kept up the tradition of hazing them

 

[WorthlessSlavicShit]

Hoping for the best for you rn brocel, no matter how little chance there is of it.

 

[ReconElement]

You must turn to the Aryan gods brocel and sacrifice a goat maybe, everything will be alright

 

[Wombles The Koala]

Call in sick for the test

 

[DarkStar]

Call in sick for the test

maybe

 

[DarkStar]

Shit luck follows me around constantly

I also heard my uncle is in the hospital, but i don’t know why

Also had a fight with my mom on the phone jfl, that bitch can’t understand anyhting

If I had a gun i’d just have killed myself

 

[Todd Thundercock]

The positive is none of that shit matters.

 

[Biowaste Removal]

I have exams next week but idgaf, I've just been LDARing and postmaxxing on here, did something else but i couldn't remember

And eating massive amounts of goyslop the past few days

 

[lazy_gamer_423]

i hate how society is inherently anti-autist

 

[MassEffectKoala]

Yup, hence why I will not respond any further

GrAYs will be GrAYs, I just wish we kept up the tradition of hazing them

Do you support jew and larp nazi?

 

[DarkStar]

I had to go on the highway today, and for a second I just thought “what if i just sped up & crashed on purpose”

Just fuck my life, my suicidal ideations are back