T
I'm 25 years old and white and I have let's just say a uniquely bad looking face, idk what exactly it is about it that makes people react so disgusted and frightened and I couldn't ever explain it or grasp it
This has obviously given me extreme body dysmorphia and the most frustrating aspect of this is whenever I get a look of disgust or get called ugly I genuinely fully believe that I'm the actual ONLY ugly young white guy that person has ever seen and ever will see, like I genuinely can't comprehend them thinking any other white guys are ugly besides me and me only, I can't be reasoned with and this belief absolutely exceeds all logic that I try to apply to why this is unlikely
Take this girl from my gym who I have a big crush on that's definitely not reciprocated because she and hee stare the fuck out of me with the most hate filled glare I've ever seen and she even puts her hoodie on whenever working out in my line of sight to cover her body up, but this girl literally checks out fucking EVERYONE, literally even mid looking guys I've seen her look at and then pull her shorts up tight immediately after so they notice her ass or something? Idfk...
I find myself watching her desperately hoping to witness a young white guy walk past her and for her to just only glance for half a second and not check him out and instinctively hike her shorts up so her ass looks good, but so far this hasn't happened and until I witness this, I'm going to believe that I'm the only young white guy she thinks is creepy and ugly, the only guys I've seen her not check is old men and other Asian dudes (she's asian herself) but neither of those two count because I'm not old or asian, they have to be young and white for it to "count" in my mind so I can finally stop believing I'm the only fucking white guy she finds unattractive
This has obviously given me extreme body dysmorphia and the most frustrating aspect of this is whenever I get a look of disgust or get called ugly I genuinely fully believe that I'm the actual ONLY ugly young white guy that person has ever seen and ever will see, like I genuinely can't comprehend them thinking any other white guys are ugly besides me and me only, I can't be reasoned with and this belief absolutely exceeds all logic that I try to apply to why this is unlikely
Take this girl from my gym who I have a big crush on that's definitely not reciprocated because she and hee stare the fuck out of me with the most hate filled glare I've ever seen and she even puts her hoodie on whenever working out in my line of sight to cover her body up, but this girl literally checks out fucking EVERYONE, literally even mid looking guys I've seen her look at and then pull her shorts up tight immediately after so they notice her ass or something? Idfk...
I find myself watching her desperately hoping to witness a young white guy walk past her and for her to just only glance for half a second and not check him out and instinctively hike her shorts up so her ass looks good, but so far this hasn't happened and until I witness this, I'm going to believe that I'm the only young white guy she thinks is creepy and ugly, the only guys I've seen her not check is old men and other Asian dudes (she's asian herself) but neither of those two count because I'm not old or asian, they have to be young and white for it to "count" in my mind so I can finally stop believing I'm the only fucking white guy she finds unattractive
