Serious I fluctuate between feeling evil and feeling like a cuck(narcissistic personality disorder)

[Choler]

I have some brutal mental disorders, ADHD, C-PTSD and NPD(Narcissistic personality disorder), thanks to these mental disorders and especially NPD, i usually fluctuate between being evil as fuck, not caring about anything, being low inhib, bullying, putting other people down and even beating up people to the point i got the cops called on me, to my other state where i feel like a cuck, depressed, sad, in absolute despair and agony

I call these 2 states "malignant state" and "cuck state", when i am on my cuck state that's when i rot on incel and blackpill forums the most, and i feel so fucking bad guys, it's a mental pain that i think no one here will ever experience, it's deep and extreme despair and anguish

When i'm on my malignant state there's no sadness, the only "bad" feeling i feel is hatred and disgust towards humanity, and that feels good tbh, but on my cuck state where i am right now, i feel like shit, i can't do anything and my mind tortures me 24/7 non stop, it's brutal guys, i really hope i can go back to my normal evil state as soon as possible

I would like to know if anyone else here has a personality disorder or have this fluctuation too, and how can we cope with this

Spoiler: guys who might be interested on this topic

@GeckoBus
@Ryo_Hazuki
@Destroyed lonely

 

[Failed Pullout]

So your kinda like a bipolar foid on IT?

 

[Poopless One]

Dnr

 

[Choler]

So your kinda like a bipolar foid on IT?

not quite but it has some similarities, narcissist people fluctuates between grandiosity and vulnerability based on external validation or ego injury, bipolar shifts between mania and depression due to biological mood dysregulation

 

[Choler]

Dnr

i don't want negroes reading my threads anyway

 

[Poopless One]

i don't want negroes reading my threads anyway
View attachment 1432093

being evil as fuck, not caring about anything, being low inhib, bullying, putting other people down and even beating up people to the point i got the cops called on me,

Ok wigger fag

 

[Emba]

i want niggers reading my threads
View attachment 1432093

 

[intothewild]

Goddamn you're a basketcase

 

[pizzamaxxer]

same but I don't beat people

 

[Choler]

Goddamn you're a basketcase

indeed

 

[Choler]

same but I don't beat people

do u have a personality disorder too?

 

[Leonardo Part V]

Ur a cuck

 

[pizzamaxxer]

do u have a personality disorder too?

yes sire

 

[thegoonk]

I have some brutal mental disorders, ADHD, C-PTSD and NPD(Narcissistic personality disorder), thanks to these mental disorders and especially NPD, i usually fluctuate between being evil as fuck, not caring about anything, being low inhib, bullying, putting other people down and even beating up people to the point i got the cops called on me, to my other state where i feel like a cuck, depressed, sad, in absolute despair and agony

I call these 2 states "malignant state" and "cuck state", when i am on my cuck state that's when i rot on incel and blackpill forums the most, and i feel so fucking bad guys, it's a mental pain that i think no one here will ever experience, it's deep and extreme despair and anguish

When i'm on my malignant state there's no sadness, the only "bad" feeling i feel is hatred and disgust towards humanity, and that feels good tbh, but on my cuck state where i am right now, i feel like shit, i can't do anything and my mind tortures me 24/7 non stop, it's brutal guys, i really hope i can go back to my normal evil state as soon as possible

I would like to know if anyone else here has a personality disorder or have this fluctuation too, and how can we cope with this

Spoiler: guys who might be interested on this topic

@GeckoBus
@Ryo_Hazuki
@Destroyed lonely

Npd is one of the worst. You just gotta be self aware and it will go away

 

[Choler]

Npd is one of the worst. You just gotta be self aware and it will go away

becoming self aware turned me into a cuck, i dont want it to go away, i want to stay in the grandiosity state forever

 

[thegoonk]

becoming self aware turned me into a cuck, i dont want it to go away, i want to stay in the grandiosity state forever

You said it yourself it has more downsides. And i assume u wanna stay in it forever so u dont get to be in the cuck state? Then get rid of both of them

 

[Choler]

You said it yourself it has more downsides. And i assume u wanna stay in it forever so u dont get to be in the cuck state? Then get rid of both of them

but what would happen? u develop NPD in childhood as a shield to protect ur inner self who is an abused weak bitch, i dont want to be like this

i think of my NPD like its the black spiderman suit

if i take it off ill just be a major abused cuck, i need it to defend myself, i just gotta learn how to use this shit and never go to the vulnerable state again

 

[glutty]

 

[Rasama]

You inject T right? Maybe that causes mood swings

 

[Choler]

You inject T right? Maybe that causes mood swings

yes i inject T but just trt dose rn, my hormones are in check, what causes the mood swings is my fucked up abused dog brain