When I was 17, this girl, 15 at the time, who I've known since we were much younger took interest in me. The way I know it was for real is because she gave a handwritten letter to my sister, which she gave to me. I tried chatting with her, and oh man it was great. All this "I'm too busy" BS? None of that, in fact, she wouldn't let me go to sleep even when I had school tomorrow.
My mother was against me being in a relationship because "muh your studies muh" and my sister also interfered which she shouldn't have. Plus, her family wouldn't be okay with it had they known. And the meat of it all is that my insecure ass put an end to that newly formed relationship (if you could even call it that because we never even kissed) out of fear and stupidity.
It's funny because everything slowly went downhill after that, later that year COVID happened and after a year of online school I fucked up my college entrance exam and, while I got the university that I wanted, I failed to get CS which is the major that I wanted.
College has been hell all the way through. I've done nothing but study. Barely any friends, no gf despite all the girls around, nothing. And then I got BPed and depressed and developed feelings for a girl who rejected me recently.