![Deleted member 23450](/data/avatars/m/23/23450.jpg?1609956150)
Deleted member 23450
Do not disturb when I close my eyes
-
- Joined
- Dec 16, 2019
- Posts
- 3,380
Guys, I don't even remember the last time I had a 15 minutes conversation with someone IRL.
I think I'm becoming a misanthropy.
I just want a meaning in life fuckkkkkkkkkkkk.
I sleep 14 - 16 every single day and I feel that my soul was obliterated...
I'm living like a ghost.
all I want to do is to sleep all day. why am I not excited about my childhood dreams anymore? I miss the old days when I was an innocent kid that smiled and didn't know about how bad this world was.
tbh I don't even fucking care if a cute girl asks me for marry her. now that I know the blackpill and the "truth" almost everything makes sense to me.
I feel that I'm just a soulless creatures walking around in this world. the hate inside is growing slowly, but I'm trying to control it.
I'm looking at humans as soulless bodies. we are so cruel and selfish, ( I'm including myself ). God please I just want mercy.
there is no color anymore. everything is so grey and even if I had 1 million dollars right now it wouldn't be enough, because I wouldn't be able to get my innocence back.
my head is fucked up. I'm living like a ghost where my family doesn't even care about me so it's just me and God.
I'll really trying to improve my life to live in a reasonable way, but it has been tough lately
tbh even if I had the perfect life with sex, money and power. it wouldn't be enough because
sex, money and power would be used just to cover all the pain and the lack of meaning in life, but it would be temporary and it wouldn't repair my soul.
I look at millionaires that commited suicide and people say that they can't understand how he could do such a thing having sex, money and power, but I understand.
It's so fucking difficult to live without a meaning.
I don't want to pretend to be someone that I'm not to be noticed anymore. I feel that I'm just walking around like a ghost.
I don't want to pretend that in the future everything will be different and better anymore because I know that it won't. there is no hope for a better world.
I know that it will appear some people here saying that God doesn't exist, but I don't care. I don't careeeeeeeeeeeeeee
maybe I use this hate as a fuel to fucking improve my situation.
My last and unique hope is God. if it weren't for god I would be dead right know. I'm trying to make him the purpose of my life, but tbh it has not been easy.
I don't care if it's cope. I don't careeeeeeeeeeee.
The reality are completely distorted to me. I'm having some delusions and tbh I don't want to get crazy soon.
it's been difficult to endure the pain...
I think I'm becoming a misanthropy.
I just want a meaning in life fuckkkkkkkkkkkk.
I sleep 14 - 16 every single day and I feel that my soul was obliterated...
I'm living like a ghost.
all I want to do is to sleep all day. why am I not excited about my childhood dreams anymore? I miss the old days when I was an innocent kid that smiled and didn't know about how bad this world was.
tbh I don't even fucking care if a cute girl asks me for marry her. now that I know the blackpill and the "truth" almost everything makes sense to me.
I feel that I'm just a soulless creatures walking around in this world. the hate inside is growing slowly, but I'm trying to control it.
I'm looking at humans as soulless bodies. we are so cruel and selfish, ( I'm including myself ). God please I just want mercy.
there is no color anymore. everything is so grey and even if I had 1 million dollars right now it wouldn't be enough, because I wouldn't be able to get my innocence back.
my head is fucked up. I'm living like a ghost where my family doesn't even care about me so it's just me and God.
I'll really trying to improve my life to live in a reasonable way, but it has been tough lately
tbh even if I had the perfect life with sex, money and power. it wouldn't be enough because
sex, money and power would be used just to cover all the pain and the lack of meaning in life, but it would be temporary and it wouldn't repair my soul.
I look at millionaires that commited suicide and people say that they can't understand how he could do such a thing having sex, money and power, but I understand.
It's so fucking difficult to live without a meaning.
I don't want to pretend to be someone that I'm not to be noticed anymore. I feel that I'm just walking around like a ghost.
I don't want to pretend that in the future everything will be different and better anymore because I know that it won't. there is no hope for a better world.
I know that it will appear some people here saying that God doesn't exist, but I don't care. I don't careeeeeeeeeeeeeee
maybe I use this hate as a fuel to fucking improve my situation.
My last and unique hope is God. if it weren't for god I would be dead right know. I'm trying to make him the purpose of my life, but tbh it has not been easy.
I don't care if it's cope. I don't careeeeeeeeeeee.
The reality are completely distorted to me. I'm having some delusions and tbh I don't want to get crazy soon.
it's been difficult to endure the pain...
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