i always struggled with the fact , that i have extremely low self discipline and motivation to just do simply stuff like
- living a healthy life
- eating and sleeping enough
- going to the gym
etc.
And i always blamed myself for it .
I never even thought of the possibility , that motivation is just a result of hormones being activated after positive reinforcement .
People look in the mirror and like what they see - they get a dopamine rush .
They get IOIs from girls, .
they get treated better by their friends and coworkers and people actively seek their company .
The list goes on and on .
They have something to live for , while we dont .
They get rewarded for their everyday struggle , while we dont .
If youre good or at least normal looking , you will constantly get positive feedback , depending on how good you look on the scale .
but for us , it never even began .
People like us , we get ZERO ! NOTHING !
Girls wont even acknowledge our existence or they look at us with disgust .
People avoid us and if we want to have " friends " , we have to constantly run after those people to keep their interest .
And the party less invested in a relationship has always more power than the other one .
We get zero positive feedback and thats why we have zero motivation .
While youre still bluepilled and have some shimmer of hope , you have at least SOME motivation to live a normal Life ,
cause you tell yourself , that there must be a reason and that you just have to hold on a little longer .
But as soon as you get blackpilled , you realize the futility of that ordeal .
LDARing is just a natural response to this harsh Truth .
Why should i have any motivation or discipline , even to do basic things , if theres literally no fucking reason for me to exist .
Theres no reason for me to try .
Theres no bigger goal , theres no light at the End of the Tunnel .
Why should i fucking care about my life ?
I just feel like i fail at every step i take , and i dont know if i should blame myself for it or not .
Should i just say that everything is my fault ?
Is the answer giving up hope and going LDAR .
Or is the answer " taking responsibility " for this fucked up existence and somehow finding a way to make myself work ?
Cope or Rope ?
-----
You may call it depression ,
i just call it the side effects that come with living on hardcore difficulty .
Most of us struggle even with basic tasks .
We feel so weak , cause the constant Nihilism is crushing our spirits .
Now you can somehow muster up the courage and power to make it work and achieve some of your goals ,
despite all those setbacks and despite the way fate fucked you over .
You can force yourself through those obstacles , if you have a good Reason .
Most People are given a Reason just by default , they dont need Religion or some other cope , they dont need some big Immortality Project .
They are given a Reason through the positive reinforcment of other people .
And thats why i hate it when Incel Tears or other cucks
tell us to man up or tell us that we dont deserve anything from women or even society as a whole .
They dont understand how fucked up our lives are , they cant empathize when we feel like we have the world on our shoulders .
We just want to see the sun break through the clouds once in a while , metaphorically speaking .
How can we live this Life , if theres nothing to live for ?
How dare these people to tell me i didnt try hard enough .
How dare you to tell me i dont deserve anything .
You dont know , and you probably will never know what it feels like ,
so please just leave me alone , so i can at least rot in peace .
Let me have that safe space without laughing about my every word .
But not even that simple wish is granted .
We are laughed at and ridiculed , even when we are hiding in the tiniest little corner of the Internet .
Im tired of living on this difficulty mode .
I want to change back to easy mode please .
TLDR : its over .
you dont need to read it , im just venting .
- living a healthy life
- eating and sleeping enough
- going to the gym
etc.
And i always blamed myself for it .
I never even thought of the possibility , that motivation is just a result of hormones being activated after positive reinforcement .
People look in the mirror and like what they see - they get a dopamine rush .
They get IOIs from girls, .
they get treated better by their friends and coworkers and people actively seek their company .
The list goes on and on .
They have something to live for , while we dont .
They get rewarded for their everyday struggle , while we dont .
If youre good or at least normal looking , you will constantly get positive feedback , depending on how good you look on the scale .
but for us , it never even began .
People like us , we get ZERO ! NOTHING !
Girls wont even acknowledge our existence or they look at us with disgust .
People avoid us and if we want to have " friends " , we have to constantly run after those people to keep their interest .
And the party less invested in a relationship has always more power than the other one .
We get zero positive feedback and thats why we have zero motivation .
While youre still bluepilled and have some shimmer of hope , you have at least SOME motivation to live a normal Life ,
cause you tell yourself , that there must be a reason and that you just have to hold on a little longer .
But as soon as you get blackpilled , you realize the futility of that ordeal .
LDARing is just a natural response to this harsh Truth .
Why should i have any motivation or discipline , even to do basic things , if theres literally no fucking reason for me to exist .
Theres no reason for me to try .
Theres no bigger goal , theres no light at the End of the Tunnel .
Why should i fucking care about my life ?
I just feel like i fail at every step i take , and i dont know if i should blame myself for it or not .
Should i just say that everything is my fault ?
Is the answer giving up hope and going LDAR .
Or is the answer " taking responsibility " for this fucked up existence and somehow finding a way to make myself work ?
Cope or Rope ?
-----
You may call it depression ,
i just call it the side effects that come with living on hardcore difficulty .
Most of us struggle even with basic tasks .
We feel so weak , cause the constant Nihilism is crushing our spirits .
Now you can somehow muster up the courage and power to make it work and achieve some of your goals ,
despite all those setbacks and despite the way fate fucked you over .
You can force yourself through those obstacles , if you have a good Reason .
Most People are given a Reason just by default , they dont need Religion or some other cope , they dont need some big Immortality Project .
They are given a Reason through the positive reinforcment of other people .
And thats why i hate it when Incel Tears or other cucks
tell us to man up or tell us that we dont deserve anything from women or even society as a whole .
They dont understand how fucked up our lives are , they cant empathize when we feel like we have the world on our shoulders .
We just want to see the sun break through the clouds once in a while , metaphorically speaking .
How can we live this Life , if theres nothing to live for ?
How dare these people to tell me i didnt try hard enough .
How dare you to tell me i dont deserve anything .
You dont know , and you probably will never know what it feels like ,
so please just leave me alone , so i can at least rot in peace .
Let me have that safe space without laughing about my every word .
But not even that simple wish is granted .
We are laughed at and ridiculed , even when we are hiding in the tiniest little corner of the Internet .
Im tired of living on this difficulty mode .
I want to change back to easy mode please .
TLDR : its over .
you dont need to read it , im just venting .
