Say what you will about masculinity coping, but at least it would’ve made me feel slightly more confident. Not confidence with foids, but just in general. But then I think of the fact that every beautiful woman I crushed on as a child, would never want my adult self.
I was actually relatively happy as a child when I wasn’t being picked on at school by normies, probably because I was in my default blue pilled state, but every passing year makes me develop a sinking void in my chest that I feel getting deeper and darker. All I ever wanted out of life was a nice girl who could love me for who I am, and for us to progress through life together until marriage and children.
It sounds so magical when you’re first introduced to the idea because it’s only human nature for young men to desire women the way we do. But like I said before, time went on and on and I got older, never hitting any milestone when it came to attracting women. I have never felt genuinely wanted in my life, and I feel like an underdeveloped sperg child because of it. Do you know how brutal it is when you look around you and see couples at every turn, at beaches, at bars, at restaurants?
It makes me feel as though I was denied a level of happiness that I can’t even comprehend, and the normies and chads can’t comprehend NOT having it because it’s all they ever had. If you didn’t fit in during middle school, you never will. All I ever wanted out of life was a cute wife who looks like this:
Instead I am forced to live life like a man child, never truly feeling mature or seasoned with experience in life due to not being able to attain the most fundamental thing for human success and survival, a mate.
I had to deal with my oneitis whose parents were close friends with my family, so every family function I saw her while I could never have her. Seeing her sit and laugh in the same room as my own flesh and blood made me want to tear my own heart out. I remember sitting outside in the cold at age 15, crying.
I have been turned down by young women my mother knows that work in a pharmacy, and both of them rejected me coldly and hid themselves from me despite being friendly with my mother, again, my flesh and blood.
And my family is then shocked to find out that I have completely given up on life, smoking a pack of cigarettes a day and rotting on his forum? Get the fuck out of here, man. I just want peace, but peace cannot be attained when you own DNA is screaming at every fibre of your being to reproduce. And yes sex must be incredible, but even that childlike love is something I was denied.
If I had to rip a singular hair out of my head or face for every time it was over for me, I would have alopecia.
I was actually relatively happy as a child when I wasn’t being picked on at school by normies, probably because I was in my default blue pilled state, but every passing year makes me develop a sinking void in my chest that I feel getting deeper and darker. All I ever wanted out of life was a nice girl who could love me for who I am, and for us to progress through life together until marriage and children.
It sounds so magical when you’re first introduced to the idea because it’s only human nature for young men to desire women the way we do. But like I said before, time went on and on and I got older, never hitting any milestone when it came to attracting women. I have never felt genuinely wanted in my life, and I feel like an underdeveloped sperg child because of it. Do you know how brutal it is when you look around you and see couples at every turn, at beaches, at bars, at restaurants?
It makes me feel as though I was denied a level of happiness that I can’t even comprehend, and the normies and chads can’t comprehend NOT having it because it’s all they ever had. If you didn’t fit in during middle school, you never will. All I ever wanted out of life was a cute wife who looks like this:
Instead I am forced to live life like a man child, never truly feeling mature or seasoned with experience in life due to not being able to attain the most fundamental thing for human success and survival, a mate.
I had to deal with my oneitis whose parents were close friends with my family, so every family function I saw her while I could never have her. Seeing her sit and laugh in the same room as my own flesh and blood made me want to tear my own heart out. I remember sitting outside in the cold at age 15, crying.
I have been turned down by young women my mother knows that work in a pharmacy, and both of them rejected me coldly and hid themselves from me despite being friendly with my mother, again, my flesh and blood.
And my family is then shocked to find out that I have completely given up on life, smoking a pack of cigarettes a day and rotting on his forum? Get the fuck out of here, man. I just want peace, but peace cannot be attained when you own DNA is screaming at every fibre of your being to reproduce. And yes sex must be incredible, but even that childlike love is something I was denied.
If I had to rip a singular hair out of my head or face for every time it was over for me, I would have alopecia.
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