SuicideFuel I feel consumed by emptiness

[ScornedStoic]

I don't know what to do. One of my best copes did nothing today. The last few weeks all I can think about is my virginity and how it will never change. I used to be the master of coping, filling my day with things to distract me. Now... From the moment I wake up to the moment I fall asleep I just don't want to be conscious. I'm constantly aware that I'm just getting older. I'm 20 and haven't even held hands with a girl.

I feel surrounded by emptiness. I'm just in a void of darkness and all I can feel is depression. I just alternate between wanting to end it all and contemplating what I've missed. I held out hope for so long things would change and the last couple years it's sinking in that this is my reality.

I want to scream.

I'm trapped.

I want out of this hellhole

 

[SilentSoup]

That's awful... it's a shame. I know that feel.

I hope you find an escape from your troubles, brother.

 

[norcel]

Either cope or rope boyo

 

[TheGoodGuy]

Same I don´t feel anything anymore and haven´t done for years, I don´t feel happy or sad I just don´t feel anything.

 

[IsolationHurts]

I know how it feels. My worst years were 20-25, i just could not accept that i would be a virgin until my death. Now its slightly better...
I recommend you to
A) Find new and better copes
B) Fins a job. It means less time to think about your (our shared) misery and more money to cope better
C) Try to looksmax. Youre "only" 20, maybe its not late for you.

Anyway, dont try to be an stoic, a buddhist or any other ascetic ideology. Nietzsche knew that was just delusional (i dont remember where he criticized ascetic values, i think it was in Beyond good and evil or Genealogy of moral)

 

[FrothySolutions]

I only know my experience, but my experience has been, eventually I'll come to want to do something. It might take a while and it might not be that much drive at first, but the time will come when you wanna watch something or go somewhere or eat something or something like that.

 

[GoonCel]

I hope you find an escape from your troubles, brother.

 

[ScornedStoic]

That's awful... it's a shame. I know that feel.

I hope you find an escape from your troubles, brother.

There is no escape. My life was determined in kindergarten when I was ostracized for being born wrong.

 

[Deleted member 6470]

You're only 20yo, it's not too late.

 

[cucktearslol]

dude take more showers

 

[ScornedStoic]

Either cope or rope boyo

Well I can't cope anymore, so I think I have my solution.

I know how it feels. My worst years were 20-25, i just could not accept that i would be a virgin until my death. Now its slightly better...
I recommend you to
A) Find new and better copes
B) Fins a job. It means less time to think about your (our shared) misery and more money to cope better
C) Try to looksmax. Youre "only" 20, maybe its not late for you.

Anyway, dont try to be an stoic, a buddhist or any other ascetic ideology. Nietzsche knew that was just delusional (i dont remember where he criticized ascetic values, i think it was in Beyond good and evil or Genealogy of moral)

Stoicism isn't ascetic and is the farthest thing from delusion. And it was over for me at 12 boyo.

I only know my experience, but my experience has been, eventually I'll come to want to do something. It might take a while and it might not be that much drive at first, but the time will come when you wanna watch something or go somewhere or eat something or something like that.

I just want to touch a female and for her to want me to touch her

You're only 20yo, it's not too late.

What on Earth makes you think that?

 

[Lonelycel]

I feel the same way. I can't study, I can't exercise, I can't focus at work. All that consumes my mind is how ugly I am, and how no girl will ever care about me or want me in any way.

I feel as if I've hit a critical point in my life where something must change, otherwise I'm headed towards suicide.

 

[ScornedStoic]

I feel the same way. I can't study, I can't exercise, I can't focus at work. All that consumes my mind is how ugly I am, and how no girl will ever care about me or want me in any way.

I feel as if I've hit a critical point in my life where something must change, otherwise I'm headed towards suicide.

Tbh. Just know it's not your fault. It's got nothing to do with your personality, we were just born wrong.

 

[Lonelycel]

Tbh. Just know it's not your fault. It's got nothing to do with your personality, we were just born wrong.

Yeah, but I can't deal with this anymore. I can't deal with people giving me disgusted looks all the time. I can't deal with people laughing at me on the street. I can't deal with this disgusting animal face anymore man. I wish I had been aborted.

 

[Michael15651]

Either cope or rope boyo

 

[ScornedStoic]

Yeah, but I can't deal with this anymore. I can't deal with people giving me disgusted looks all the time. I can't deal with people laughing at me on the street. I can't deal with this disgusting animal face anymore man. I wish I had been aborted.

It's our lot to suffer. I relate with everything you said

 

[ChronicPaincel]

Yeah, but I can't deal with this anymore. I can't deal with people giving me disgusted looks all the time. I can't deal with people laughing at me on the street. I can't deal with this disgusting animal face anymore man. I wish I had been aborted.

I cannot handle it anymore either

 

[ScornedStoic]

Someone just needs to killme

 

[Bakura806]

The only way to escape the nightmare is death, think of it like the story of bloodbourne, we can only escape this horror by ending our existence and discovering a new beginning in the after life.

 

[ScornedStoic]

The only way to escape the nightmare is death, think of it like the story of bloodbourne, we can only escape this horror by ending our existence and discovering a new beginning in the after life.

Sadly this is all too a accurate

 

[PaulSmenis]

I don't know what to do. One of my best copes did nothing today. The last few weeks all I can think about is my virginity and how it will never change. I used to be the master of coping, filling my day with things to distract me. Now... From the moment I wake up to the moment I fall asleep I just don't want to be conscious. I'm constantly aware that I'm just getting older. I'm 20 and haven't even held hands with a girl.

I feel surrounded by emptiness. I'm just in a void of darkness and all I can feel is depression. I just alternate between wanting to end it all and contemplating what I've missed. I held out hope for so long things would change and the last couple years it's sinking in that this is my reality.

I want to scream.

I'm trapped.

I want out of this hellhole

Watch over us if you become a heavencel.

 

[ScornedStoic]

Watch over us if you become a heavencel.

I will but there's no saving you if you're autistic. You're just doomed to a life of loneliness, we what you did wrong, and complete social isolation.