Venting I feel as I'm slowly becoming a sociopath

[eliya]

I'm tired genuinely tired of being nice and trying
The last 4 years have been nothing but failure
Failed at competitions
failed at romance f
ailed University applications
Failed my parents
Failure failure failure I tried my best I really did and sometimes I got close but I failed every single time I look at people and look at how they grew up with a lot of positive reinforcement parents that love them friends that love them I have nothing of that sort I am jealous and envious

I annoy people I annoy people even on this fourm
Some of you all have never tried in your life and maybe that's a good thing sometimes giving up is it good thing
cuz every single time you fail you lose a part of yourself
And then eventually
you become hollow
void of sympathy love and compassion
a miserable and hateful human being

And slowly but surely I am becoming that
I have wild fantasies of hurting people disfiguring their face
ruining their knee cap
breaking their arms and legs

I want to change
But this downward a spiral is continuing

Right now I am in the process of accepting accepting that love was never for me to have
that I would never be respected by my peers
That no matter what I do and what I tell I would still be the bad guy


I want to live the rest of my life by the principle that I will never have these things instead of trying to change and desperately seek them
I just want to make peace with the fact that I would never have them
And structuring my life around that idea


That seems like the only way to escape this nightmare

 

[Kinkcel1]

 

[Emba]

 

[Minamoto]

Same. This world rarely showed me any mercy or love. Besides, (intelligent) sociopaths are rewarded and loved by normies. I'd say don't stoop to their level. But that's just my opinion.

 

[subhumanBadger]

I'm tired genuinely tired of being nice and trying
The last 4 years have been nothing but failure
Failed at competitions
failed at romance f
ailed University applications
Failed my parents
Failure failure failure I tried my best I really did and sometimes I got close but I failed every single time I look at people and look at how they grew up with a lot of positive reinforcement parents that love them friends that love them I have nothing of that sort I am jealous and envious

I annoy people I annoy people even on this fourm
Some of you all have never tried in your life and maybe that's a good thing sometimes giving up is it good thing
cuz every single time you fail you lose a part of yourself
And then eventually
you become hollow
void of sympathy love and compassion
a miserable and hateful human being

And slowly but surely I am becoming that
I have wild fantasies of hurting people disfiguring their face
ruining their knee cap
breaking their arms and legs

I want to change
But this downward a spiral is continuing

Right now I am in the process of accepting accepting that love was never for me to have
that I would never be respected by my peers
That no matter what I do and what I tell I would still be the bad guy


I want to live the rest of my life by the principle that I will never have these things instead of trying to change and desperately seek them
I just want to make peace with the fact that I would never have them
And structuring my life around that idea


That seems like the only way to escape this nightmare

I feel you. I feel more distant to everything everyday .

 

[gymletethnicel]

I already am, definitively.

 

[Biowaste Removal]

Embrace it nigger, normies are the true sociopaths anyways, we are just their punching bags unless we punch back (in video game only, ofc)

 

[MRHK_57]

Embrace it and take revenge.

 

[IceMan2000]

That no matter what I do and what I tell I would still be the bad guy

I've learned to accept it at this point. Fuck people.

 

[Celsior]

You’re just experiencing the late stages of puberty, OP. Calm down.